My Yelp brethren confound and disappoint me yet again. How can these aesthetically challenged dips bestow a paltry 3.5-star overall rating to a local staple like the King's* Inn? Call me a romantic misanthrope (or a misanthropic romantic), for I shall castigate these pinheads whilst professing my passion for fine dining. Yes, I consider the King's Inn fine dining; the plain, slightly ramshackle nautical setting belies some of the *finest* fried seafood in the Gulf Coast region, possibly anywhere in the country.
"Character," when applied to the context of an established restaurant, is often synonymous with eccentricities, the kind embraced by locals but spurned by outlanders. The King's Inn is brimming with "character": menus available not on paper but in the server's hippocampus, no split checks, fried seafood ordered by the pound, and a house seafood/tartar "sauce" with the consistency of potato salad. Accept and embrace these eccentricities and I promise you will enjoy your meal...unless you're a snooty hipster or an aesthetically challenged dip.
The King's Inn offers steaks and chicken tenders, but locals and (open-minded) outlanders flock here for the heaping platters of fried Gulf Coast seafood, all of it sourced locally. On our recent visit, my dad and I scarfed down nearly four pounds of food between us, a testament to our hunger and a compliment to the kitchen's prowess with the fryer. The colossal U12 shrimp were plump, crispy, well seasoned, and not the least bit greasy. The same held true for the locally caught black drum and oysters. The former, once unfairly maligned as a trash fish bordering on offal, was a treat in and of itself but paired especially well with the Inn's legendary seafood/tartar "sauce."
Yes, let's discuss that tartar "sauce," arguably the restaurant's claim to fame. That mound of white paste might raise a few eyebrows, but I assure you it's delicious, an immediate hit with my dad and me. The "sauce" is a smorgasbord of ingredients, including mayonnaise, Miracle Whip, hardboiled eggs, anchovies, jalapenos, bell peppers, onions, Worcestershire sauce, and Saltine crackers (yes, seriously). The Saltines give the sauce its signature pasty texture and appearance, the jalapenos give it kick, and the anchovies and Worcestershire contribute acid to tame the richness. The tartar sauce pairs well with the seafood and the three slices of thick, juicy, ripe tomato that accompany it. If you are intrigued, I have included the recipe at the bottom of my review.
If you follow my content (and you really should if you aren't), then you know I seldom review a place after a single visit. I was so impressed with my sole experience at the King's Inn, however, that I feel comfortable awarding a laudatory five stars. This place has been in business since 1935, so they must be doing something right! Do yourself a favor and ignore the naysayers. You know the ones to whom I refer: the grammatically and syntactically challenged Yelpers whose hasty one-star rants lack expressive ability and whose dark, blurry photos invariably include distracting garbage in the foreground and background. That last comment was particularly *misanthropic* (my apologies), so let me leave you with something *romantic*. I savored every bite of my meal and wish The King's Inn another 86 years of success!
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*Yelp lists this place as "Kings Inn" sans apostrophe. This bothers me. Please fix it.
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Pro tip 1: Look for the kitty cats that prowl the parking lot hunting for scraps. They seemed especially friendly to me, but then again, I am a cat whisperer...and my hands reeked of seafood.
Pro tip 2: Visit nearby Chamberlain Cemetery and pay your respects to the King family, the individuals for whom Kingsville and the King's Inn were named. I conducted an instrumental trans-communication session there and reached the spirit of Captain Richard King via my Poltertune music box (video clips forthcoming). I review restaurants. I speak to the dead. I befriend feral cats. Behold, for I am the mysterious, inimitable Ryan M.!
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The King's Inn seafood/tartar sauce recipe (yield 3 quarts):
1 quart of mayonnaise
1 quart of Miracle Whip
10 eggs, hardboiled and peeled
3 tubes of Saltine crackers
5 stalks of celery
1 jalapeno pepper (seeded to taste)
2 1/2 ounces of Worcestershire sauce
Salt (to taste)
2 small bell peppers (seeded)
1 four-ounce jar of pimentos
1 two-ounce can of anchovy filets
1 large onion
Fresh garlic (to taste)
Finely chop the celery, jalapenos, bell peppers, anchovies, garlic, and onion.
Add salt and Worcestershire sauce.
Break crackers into small pieces.
Mash the hardboiled eggs.
Mix all ingredients together with the mayonnaise and Miracle Whip.
Refrigerate and let sit over night. read more