If you're a parent wondering whether your child will benefit in unique ways by attending private…read moreschool in lieu of the public school system, the simple answer is no. I attended this school for six years and if I had the opportunity to travel back in time, I'd ask my parents, "What the hell were you thinking?"
1. The "teachers" are unqualified. Teaching at a private school does not require any valid academic degree. I've lost count of how many instructors I had who were friends of the staff that just needed a job at that moment in time. Some tried and succeeded, while others couldn't walk in a straight line and chew gum at the same time let alone cultivate a room full of young minds. Most rarely lasted a calendar year and were routinely replaced by another incompetent individual in quick succession.
2. The curriculum is not unique. Take your child to a public school. The only thing your child will learn from private school, and Page in particular, is how to wear the same thing every day. Enroll your child at Page if stunting their fashion sensibility is a top priority of yours.
3. The Winter and Spring recital programs consume up to four months of each academic year. Apparently, selling tickets and programs to your family and friends is more important to Page administration. Who needs to teach students and help them grow intellectually when you can just milk their gullible parents for every last dollar?
4. Page is notorious for verbal (and in my case, physical) abuse. When I attended Page, it was just a given that some teachers were "mean" or "scary." Having grown up, I realized any adult man or woman who spouts profanity at children on a daily basis has a couple screws loose and is in need of therapy. Regarding the physical altercation, I was knocked off the stage by a teacher who was unhappy with my performance. Not my academic performance but rather my recital performance. We were rehearsing a routine where the choreography required me to kneel and snap my fingers. I performed the task accordingly but I guess it wasn't good enough for that teacher who put his hands on me and knocked me down. Page is less of an academic institution and more of a TLC pageant show.
5. The food is great! By "great," I mean "powdered fruit prunch, old fries, something they call chicken, salad which might be paper colored with a green marker from the art room, etc." The lunch lady was pretty chill about students helping her out. Yours truly even had a hand in making the food with no supervision, and I can assure you I had no idea what I was doing... which is something I had in common with the drifters employed here as "teachers."
6. My friends and I were in the swimming pool. In one instance, black tar dripped from the rafters above and made contact with our skin. The P.E. "teacher," who was racist and creepily flirted with underage female students, instructed the janitor to rub gasoline on our bodies until it was removed. Allow me to reiterate. Some schlubby janitor rubbed flammable liquid on children due to dripping tar. yet, this school is somehow still operating.
tl;dr Page is bad academically, morally, and likely legally.
EDIT (March 2018): There were only a few reviews about Page's Handcock Park branch prior to my review. However, since then, there has been an increased presence of defensive, "positive" reviews touting the virtues of this "school." What a coincidence. For the record, I'm not an aggrieved dropout fuming at the world via Yelp reviews; I was an annoying straight-A student throughout Page and elsewhere, and am currently in law school.