I paid $1100/month for a 1-bedroom that was a 10 minute walk from the T and only a couple of stops…read morefrom downtown Boston. How can I complain, right? It was relatively clean, newly-painted, had a dishwasher, decent cabinet space, laundry in the basement, how could I possibly give this place 1 star?
Whatever, screw this place. First of all, before you even get there, the area this building's in is horrible. I know it's not the building's fault, but I guaran-freakin'-tee you that you're going to lump it all together if you ever make the mistake of moving to this god-forsaken place. In the winter, you're going to tromp through nine feet of frozen, unshoveled snow to get to the T. The only place you won't see snow is the one house that seems to be constantly leaking a stream of water down its driveway, where you'll instead find a slick sheen of ice ready to send you and your bruised butt sliding off the sidewalk into traffic. Oh, it's warmed up? Congratulations, every house has a garbage can that smells like they're disposing of a body they've had laying around for a few weeks and just got around to cleaning up. What's that next to the garbage, some spilled rice? Why is it crawling--OH MY GOD!
Okay, so you've made it past the disgusting sidewalks to actually get to your apartment building. Congratulations! Some guy just got arrested hiding under the staircase, or the lady in the neighboring apartment is passed out in front of the door and you need to wake her up so you can get inside.
Once you get inside, if you're new to the building, you may notice a strange shadow in all of the light fixtures. Maybe you won't think much of it, but maybe you'll take one down in your own apartment to check it out. Guess what? Spider beetles all up in your everything! That cloudy shadow is enough tiny spider beetles to darken your apartment like a roc just flew past the sun. They are now in everything you own.
Now that you're in your own apartment, you notice there's a piece of paper under the door. Turns out, the management company is sending someone to inspect your tub tomorrow morning. Hope you didn't have anything planned or didn't want to sleep in, because someone's coming in tomorrow morning whether you like it or not. 16 hours is enough notice, right? It's 16! That's so many hours!
Remember that scene in Amityville Horror when the priest gets swarmed by flies? Not that I'm asking you for any reason in particular, but enjoy the laundry room! Assuming there are even any working machines not taken up by someone who will leave their clothes in the machine for two hours and then yell at you for removing them because "How am I supposed to know when 20 minutes has passed?"
Still, how can I complain? Heat is included in the rent! So what if it's drafty? You're allowed enough heat in your drafty apartment to get the one spot next to your thermostat all the way up to 70! That's enough, right? There's no reason you would ever ever want to turn that up when it's 10 degrees out and wind is blasting through the cracks around your windows like they're wide open. Just huddle up to that one warm spot that you can't ever turn up above 70 and you will be so toasty!
Oh, and did I say $1100? I meant $1200. j/k, it's $1300. Who knows? It's going to feel like the notice that your rent is going to go up comes pretty much every single time you notice a new problem with the apartment. It's like riding the T all day, every day for the entire year! Hooray!