So, I just went to Tinseltown, out of a craving for awesome dirty burgers. Don't do it. Let me be an example to you!
We walked in and people looked confused as to why we were there. We figured they were pretty busy so that was okay; we were conducted up two flights of stairs, navigating our way through sullen teenage servers.
We naively ordered nachos to share to start, and a burger each (more on this later). A few minutes later, the sullen, vampiric Polish teenager who was serving us returned to mumble that they had no nachos. What kind of diner runs out of nachos, for god's sake?! But we said it was okay and just chose to not have a starter. She shuffled away, still angry at something we weren't sure about.
My husband ordered the "Fired up double Cajun chicken burger" (3/3 peppers on the hot scale) and I ordered the "Vegetable cheese burger".
Food shows up and....we started laughing in a rather unhinged manner. Because when I say "food" I am being quite generous. Now, I'm a lover of delicious dirty American food, but this was not American and it was really just dirty, not delicious.
Fired up double Cajun chicken burger: two tiny, dry little pieces of meat. The 3/3 peppers of hotness were a joke, as husband described the spiciness of this burger as "well I guess it's sort of tangy?" And he's not someone who normally orders spicy food...
I don't know what his burger would look like if he had ordered a single, because with the 'double' burger, the meat barely covered the bun!
Veggie cheese burger: now, I'm pretty sure the menu described it as charbroiled, but when it showed up, it was a weird, cold mess. The menu says: "A deep vegetable patty served in a toasted sesame bun with crispy lettuce, sliced tomato, crispy fried onion and Tinseltown sauce." Crispy lettuce: two wilted baby leaves that didn't cover the bun. Tomato: one slimy, small slice. Sauce: one tiny dollop that I couldn't taste. Fries: white and soggy. Burger patty: breaded, cold, basically a badly microwaved Sainsburys patty. Cheese: tasted a bit like stale feet and had not melted, due to the cold patty. I asked for some mayo to put on the burger (since it was dry and cold) and was told by the sullen vampire girl that they don't have plain mayo. Who doesn't have mayo?! They have garlic mayo...but that must come out of a tub.
When I bit into the burger I had a bit of a fright. You won't guess what it was made of...mashed potato! It was breaded/fried mashed potato with some corn and peas in it. I've eaten a lot of veggie burgers in my life, but dear god. That was a first. A potato burger...with chips. Nightmare!
We wisely decided to not have dessert, paid our bill, and got the hell out of there.
So please, I beg you. Do not eat here! read more