This was an amazing shop. There were some interesting items in their inventory They closed this year

The selection of cards...duh!!!!! I've been going here for over 20 years and by far, and I don't mean that flippantly, I mean BY FAR this place has the best and biggest variety of cards, especially funny, spicy cards, as well as tame, plain-vanilla cards for every occasion! Lynn and Lana are there a lot as well as one other person, while Bob the owner heals up! I get a TON of cards for every and any occasion. read more

I lived in Mill Valley when I first moved to Northern California 36 years ago. Two Neat has remained one of my favorite stores to this day. They always have an elaborate display of gut-wrenchingly funny cards for all occasions. I live about an hour away now, but the trip is still worth it. The owners who run the store have been constantly welcoming, helpful and just great people. read more

Just got this text this am. When I lived in Mill Valley and was downtown I often felt compelled to poke my nose into Two Neat to check out the cards and items for a laugh. Laugh out loud laughs! Love the owner and employees. Gosh darn it, I've moved out of state to Oregon! Now where the heck am I going to get such entertaining Christmas cards? (Birthday cards, etc..) read more

Two Neat - a cartoon of mary and joseph - Cards & Stationery Near Me - Mill Valley, California

This is a great place to find funny cards. There are walls full of Scott Metzger and other cards from local artists. Owner Bob opened the store 33 years ago. He also stocks candy and funny bumper stickers. Location is on Throckmorton near Equator Coffees (just off the Mill Valley Town Center Park). Just be aware that, like lots of other shops in Mill Valley, hours are usually Noon to 5. read more

This shop has been around forever! Absolutely love this timeless shop with all kinds of mill valley merchandise!

The fabulous windows of Two Neat is what initially drew me in too many neat, hysterical and fun cards in the window. But then I eyed the Donald Trump toilet bowl cleaner proclaiming "Make Your Toilet Great Again" I literally laughed out loud and knew my Father would love that. There was a host of Donald Trump novelty items in the window but that Toilet Bowl cleaner was calling my name. I went in and was greeted by the jovial and personable owner Don. He was so kind he really made my shopping experience so memorable. The store is easy to browse from funny cards to hot sauce and refrigerator magnets is just some of the neat items that you will encounter. I also bought my Father two crazy cool hot sauces with equally crazy labels. As I was checking out Don and I were chatting who was the toilet bowl cleaner for me?! No for my Father I explained to Don. I told him this was a Christmas gift for my Father never too early to start shopping for Christmas. Don gave me a booklet that he had written about musings and funny stories while working at Two Neat. I have read a few stories already Robin Williams coming into his store was so nice to read. I have to say this charming store is indeed Two Neat! If you want unique cards, funny gifts, novelty items, a wonderful owner that is Don this is your slice of heaven! read more

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I would give it 10 stars if I could! It's hands down my favorite shop in Marin! There are so many cards and gift ideas to choose from. Most of the stuff there brought good laughs if you aren't sensitive with jokes, especially bad ones. Go to the shelf and find "Everything Men Know About Women" and enjoy! read more

I've lived in Mill Valley for a long time -- and Two Neat is my go-to shop for cards. Going there can be entertainment all on its own, as I found today when I bought a wonderful birthday card. But at the same time I was surprised to see a card that was blatantly racist, finding some kind of humor in making fun of a black "mammy." Two Neat, you're better than this. read more

Not the biggest card shop around. Really small for a music and video store. The selection of T-shirts is rather limited. But everything that have in this place is spot on. Every time I walk in I walk out with something. It may be that Collectors Edition of Bullet I wanted, the Led Zepplin CD that was always missing from my collection, a t-shirt for my son, or a racy card for my father. Beware of the democrat slant to the anti-Bush literature, but even that is funny to a Republican. read more

Found the PERFECT cards to express my rather twisted feelings for the 2020 Holiday Season. Then, I had a wonderful chat with owner Bob. What a great, fun, unique and happy place to spend some money during the pandemic. I am grateful for the connection and left feeling uplifted. This place is TOO NEAT!! read more

Lots of humorous cards; friendly owner. My local Greetings card store in Albany closed, so now I drive to Mill Valley and get my birthday cards for the coming year all at once. Good assortment, and much friendlier, to boot! read more

Bob's store is an essential part of the community of Mill Valley. I've been buying wonderful cards from him for 30 years.

I wake up wanting to wipe by ass with George Bush. Not just figuratively, but literally. I want to cook my eggs in the morning with a silicone pan holder in the shape of a banana. There's nothing like getting rid of all my childhood pain with a "spray those childhood traumas away" listerine-esque mouthspray. Bacon bandaids for those bacon fans, and I know there are many of you out there. I can buy all of my cards for clients for christmas there, and also get the ones for my father that makes him crack up everyday about how fat Americans have gotten, how this government is crap ("is our children learning?", or that we all suffer from CRS (can't remember shit). Lana and Bob, the owners, are wonderfully helpful and funny Mill Valley staples who support a different way of thinking and push the borders on humor. It's a necessity to have people like them purveying "cat butt" stickers or "mullet man" magnets along with beautiful handmade cards these days. It's just gotten too damn serious. But literally, I will wipe my beautiful ass with Bush, as Two Neat is where they sell the toilet paper with his ugly mug on it. Sometimes it's so popular they're sold out. read more

This place is kind of like a softer version of tuttimelon and wishbone. They've got a bunch of different knick knacks that might prove useful for those white elephant parties, or maybe as a funny gift to someone. They also have cards fro different occasions and a decent amount of CDS and DVDs. Some that you wont find at normally at music shops. They also have clothes...but I didnt really pay much attention to that. A lot of anti-bush items which could bring a smile here and there...oh and bacon band-aids... haha read more

Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! This store has so many hilarious gifts. My wife and stop in when we need a good laugh. Awesome!

I am new to Yelp. It's this store, Two Neat - that made me want to join, and write a review. This is the very last of the coolest stores on earth... Great music, hilarious cards - and the vibe is really something to be experienced. I bought Bush toilet paper that is the hit gift for all of my friends and family... This store is therapy for me! read more

Yeah, it's all been done before, and maybe gimmicky retro novelty shops like this are a bit tired, but let's face it, it could be worse--it could be one of those awful Thomas Kinkaid galleries. I stop here for two things--funny holiday cards and tee shirts with those distinctive local attraction designs on them--you know, Muir Woods, Mt. Tamalpais, Point Bonita--by that artist whose name I can never remember. I'm always amazed the place is still open, because they probably don't sell much of the stuff they display, but the people here are nice and I usually get a chuckle out of something here. read more

Perhaps this store should have been called "Too Neat" rather than "Two Neat." This is a great store if you want to get a chuckle or two while strolling through downtown Mill Valley. You'll run a good chance of finding a one-of-a-kind greeting card, with a punch of personality. They have a great selection of holiday cards and birthday cards that will make any of your friends smile. Politically conservative? Perhaps this store isn't for you, unless you appreciate toilet paper, complete with the face of Palin and Bush printed on the entire roll. Looking for something weird and outrages? You've found your place. They sell lots and lots of odds and ends from the most recent DVDs/CDs to "Make it grow in water Buddha's." Just an overall feel-good, neat store. read more

This place will fulfill all of your greeting card needs, and then some. Sappy sentimental sympathy card for friend? check. Slightly racy, just-for-giggles birthday mug for favorite sister? check. T shirt featuring serene Mt. Tam for grandma? check. Totally naked hairy butt action figure poking fun at nuns while espousing communist ideals? check. read more

LOVE this store! Not only is there selection of cards amazing from serious to laugh out loud funny, but the whole place just makes me smile. It's great to have stores like this that are all about spreading joy, especially amongst high end shops...reminds us to not take ourselves too seriously. I've had the pleasure of talking with the owner, Bob, a few times. He is such a kind, gentle, fun man who lives to make people smile. Go spend money there so we can keep businesses like this open :) read more

I LOVE this store. When I'm in a bad mood I always can count on Two Neat to help me find my giggle again. It's my go-to card store, knowing I will always find something for anyone. And no offense to Ariel, but this is a card store in Mill Valley- of course it's going to be liberal...where do you think you are? George Bush deserves to have his face on a toilet paper, cause the mans' an ass. read more

Best card shop in the universe. Truth, not hyperbole. (Ok, maybe "in the entire universe" is hyperbole by I defy you to identify a better one.). Endless quirky and funny cards. This ain't no hallmark. read more

If you need a fun gift or card--this is the place. Omg. The best, the owner and everyone that work there are the nicest and best! The store is so unique and fun. I never want to leave. I love this place more than you know and I owned a shop! As good as it gets. read more

Great merchandise! Funny cards, stickers, accessories, and trinkets! A great time. Would recommend. read more

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This shop in Mill Valley is the greatest! I have been going there for years and it's about the only card store I know of where you hear people laughing out loud as they shop. Well worth the drive! read more

I hear this place calling my name in the middle of the night.... Have you ever wondered how much time you spend in the aisles of CVS Pharmacy or Rite Aid weeding through their cards, thinking "this is so DUMB/not the sentiment I am thinking of"? Spare yourself any further boredom and use the time to go to Downtown Mill Valley and visit this place. It very well could just be me, because I have brought friends here who have had 'enough' after being here 10 minutes. I could stay for hours. There's something about a place that sells X-rated greeting cards and gag-gifts that completely satisfies me. Don't worry, I think there were cards that were appropriate for my "Easily Offended Super Religious Father's Second Wife" as well, but I can't quite remember. If not, just stop at Rite Aid real fast for that crap. read more

Bob, the owner, is one of the most lovable characters in Mill Valley. How can you not love these guys with their crazy music, movies, cards, political (unbaised!) cartoon-age, etc... read more

This store is so much fun. I do most of my card shopping here because there's a great selection of funny and original cards for any occasion. I just wish the store hours were a little longer and they closed a little later to accomodate M-F work schedules. read more

Agree 1,000% with what everyone says about the card selection here. Bob does a great job in carrying a wide range of EVERYTHING . . . local artists; hilarious profanity-laced offerings; sections for every holiday and occasion you can think of. Also, a big SF Giants-based selection of cards and gifts. The vibe here is awesome. Definitely worth a visit. If you can't find several things here that tickle your fancy, you just might not be human. read more

Met the owner. Super nice guy. Told us about the history of Two Neat and of the city of Mill Valley (because I asked)!

A Mill Valley classic. Two Neat never disappoints, with their creative cards and gifts. Their items add charm to any holiday or gift occasion. And the folks who work there have a great attitude as well. Tops all round. read more

An eclectic collection of cards, tourist t-shirts, and loads satirical merchandise. Card images and sentiments are funny and can be borderline vulgar, but everyone loves this unique shop. Bob, the buyer, keeps on top of the latest and greatest especially when in comes to politics. Just perusing their front windows, you get a sense that 'W' is used as a great source of comic relief. Flashcards, postcards, toilet paper - lots of amusing items. I'd go here to find a humorous one-of-a-kind occasion card... or white elephant gift! read more

I love this store!! I try to get all my cards here to support a locally owned business, but they also have a great selection of other items and gag gifts that are priced well, so what's not to like? Owners are sweet and helpful, and it's two minutes from my house. Part of MV's charm for sure. read more

Totally fun/somewhat salty collection of novelties and mostly greeting cards. Got my dad a birthday card here with a picture of Obama that said "I inhaled, that was the point." Fantastic. read more

Two Neat carries greeting cards that will make you laugh out loud, music (mostly rock and blues), DVDs (from Citizen Kane to Dumb and Dumber), T-shirts, bumper stickers and a wide assortment of hilarious gag gifts. This store has been in Mill Valley for more than 20 years. I think the secret to its longevity comes down to three things: 1. Great merchandise 2. Great service 3. Great vibes Two Neat is worth the trip - especially for unique greeting cards and gag gifts. If you happen to live in Mill Valley, count yourself as lucky. Two Neat is just a fantastic store. read more

I thought Tamalpais General Store had everything I would want for gifting, but Two Neat has Mill Valley t-shirts, Walter The Farting Dog, and Charlie Deal greeting cards. My shopping list is complete. read more

What a cute, funny little shop. They sell some silly novelty items, like bacon bandaids, but also really funny holiday cards. The prices are not Mill Valley prices - they're reasonable and the staff are so nice. I will happily go back. They sell music, too! read more

What a great shop this is. I always find a good card here, and that's important when it's the day-of and I need it fast!