I really hate to write a bad review about a restaurant that Gordon Ramsay thought worthy of being…read moreon the F Word. I really love the G Man. But it must be done.
My husband and I got some great news at the beginning of the week, and decided to celebrate on Thursday, so rang up and made a booking for 9. The man on the phone was quite polite, booking made with no problem.
Champagne is close enough for us to walk, so we bundled up and trotted over.
At entering the restaurant, we waited at the front for about 5 minutes before someone acknowledged us. Then the man who had been on the phone in the back (he seemed to be the manager or owner) came over and asked us to have a seat whilst our table was being prepared.
As it was so late, there were perhaps 10 diners in the restaurant, so we were dismayed at having to wait.
But after a few minutes, he came over and led us to the table.
The thing everyone coos about with Champagne is the menu (this seems a necessary thing to like about a restaurant, but work with me). In season, they offer exotic meats such as Alligator, Ostrich and Kangaroo. If you are a vetted carnivore, be sure to try them.
If, like me, you're a little less adventurous in the dead animal arena, this will seem like a Victorian folly; interesting, but useless.
However, with their fusion menu, Champagne do make an effort at combining flavours from more European gastronomy with traditional Indian methods.
Things such as Fresh Seabass spiced with chillies served with a mushroom and pickled lemon bhaji sound absolutely delicious.
My husband and I had a few beers (offerings are typical to most curry houses) and some papadoms.
We shared the Jhinga butterflied tiger prawns as a starter. This was fine -- nothing better or worse than we find in our favourite Indian restaurant.
I had the Rhamani Murgh (Chicken breast with peanut sauce), and hubby had the Seabass mentioned above.
We were excited to be at a place mentioned on le tele, and the item descriptions furthered that excitement -- they sounded so delicately spiced and unusual.
The food took a long time to arrive -- about 25 minutes. We asked about it, and were told it was being freshly prepared. Now, I'm certainly not a food snob, but freshly prepared food IS something I expect as par for the course.
When it did arrive, it was just...bland. Really bland. I couldn't taste anything interesting in the peanut sauce, and have had better luck with my own home-made satay sauce. The chicken was tough, even dark brown on the sides.
My husband did enjoy his seabass, but again, despite the promise of lemon bhaji being so interesting, just found it zingy, with no extra flavours. We really aren't picky people -- no foodies in our household, nor are we the type to order chips at a curry house. But we were unimpressed with what we felt were rather insipid offerings, both dishes overcooked (if you've ever had rubbery, overcooked fish, you're probably wrinkling your nose).
The thing that made our meal intensely unpleasant was that the manager sort yelled nearly the entire time at his waiter. And I don't mean admonished in a tense whisper. This guy was bellowing.
For some odd reason, though tables were plentiful, we were seated right at the back, by the kitchen, and could hear EVERYTHING. After that, he was on the restaurant phone the entire time, also yelling at someone else on the other end.
I'm sure everyone has a bad day, but at a restaurant, they should do it in the back, on their mobile, not standing literally 5 feet away from diners.
The service was appalling. And I don't mean the aloofness one comes to expect from typical British curry houses. The waiter was the only one there, and was hassled beyond belief. He kept forgetting things, and we had to ask several times for each item. On top of that, when we finally asked the manager dude to check on something, he commenced yelling at the waiter.
Now the decor...I'm usually very excited about restaurants trying different, bright colours decoration. But Champagne is just gaudy. The lighting is bright halogen, as one would expect in a tax office or similar hellhole.
The white/beige chairs and faux wooden walls mixed with red paint just made me feel I was back in the early 90s. The only thing that saved it is the waiters were not wearing white Levi 501s, and I didn't see a single mullet.
I hate to write off a restaurant, but we found Champagne tacky in the extreme. We've agreed to try it again sometime, hoping it was a one-off experience.
