THE FIRM LOUNGE & GRILL…read more
Talk about imprudent timing, opening at the sunrise of the pandemic, and having to writhe and wriggle from the gate. Thankfully, the Firm did so within the hull of a sunken juggernaut, the revered Copper Pig. Alas, schedules and the aforementioned writing career prevented me from visiting The Firm until now, a fact I now regret, as it impeded my efforts to ridicule and oversexualize its name. That being said, it was a great film with Tom Cruise.
Where was I?
Erections?
No, The Firm, right. No sex jokes.
The first real surprise upon entering was how much they adopted their own personality within the old location. I was half expecting the often used Hannibal Lecter metaphor of walking around in another restaurant's skin, but they really took the effort to stamp their own identity, with the only fragment of the previous Pig being the exposed wood of the ceiling. And while the tables are in the exact location, it feels entirely new, dominated by that bright blue underlit sign slapped under the bar. Patrons even enter through a different door. The booths are generous, shockingly to the point that the more rotund members of our party had no issue wedging ourselves into place around a table that could easily hold eight.
And for some reason, we decided to spend a week's wages here. Not sure why...maybe it had been a while since we'd all been out together and ended up throwing caution to the wind. The alcohol flowed quickly and consistently, not in any way prompted by the unforeseen reunion of my wife with an old friend she hadn't seen since my wife's breakup with her ex.
Not. Awkward. At all.
I'm sure the sudden ordering of a double shot rum and coke was not at all a consequence of that encounter. It prompted a round of fruity and convoluted concoctions mixing bumu, triple sec, empress, mirtillo, vodka, and various berries (not all in one drink; who do think I am, David Hasselhoff?)
After ordering the full order charcuterie, I had considered that we would follow that with a series of smaller appetizers, which I assumed after the wife ordered both the bruschetta and the elk carpaccio. A friend tackled the stuffed yorkie (the pastry, not the dog) while another accepted the hot wings challenge.
Ordering just appetizers is a practice I enjoy as it really shows off the talent of the resident--
--Oh, we're all still ordering mains?
...Okay, I didn't see that one coming.
I guess that means buffalo chicken pasta for me, top sirloin for the wife (not sure where she's gonna pack that), and a pair of Wagyu beef steaks for my two friends.
It's shocking how much different a Wagyu tastes compared to top sirloin. They were both fantastic but in different ways. Both the elk carpaccio and the bruschetta were, admittedly, conventional but a perfect encapsulation to why those two dishes are popular in the first place.
If there was any criticism to be had, it laid with the charcuterie. There were two options, a single and a group, but I felt the selection was lacking with the latter with only two meats, two cheese, and a trio of sauces with other condiments. If ordering a group charcuterie, I'd want a few more options. What we got was great; I was just expecting a bit more selection; that's selection, not quantity. I'd have taken a reduction in each if it meant more variety.
And that was it, a fantastic--oh wait, dessert?
You can't seriously...fine, I guess we're ordering dessert. I could say no, but...of course, I didn't, and there arrived a warm chocolate brownie and a pair of fried ice-cream dishes dusted with cinnamon sugar and resting on a fried bowl sitting on whipped cream.
We shared, just FYI, but thank god I wore the big pants.
I admit that The Firm is conventional, if not a little predictable. But it's far from humdrum, banal, or lethargic. It plays the notes to perfection, a situation where they play a cover song and end up making it better.
The Firm is...well... It's like that song, "Nothing Compares 2U". It's a Prince tune, but it was Sinéad O'Connor that made the song a legend. It's not about who does it first, but who does it better.
I just hope The Firm doesn't tear up a picture of the pope in front of me.
(Yes, I'm back. What can I say? It's been nearly three years, and I found some time between my three successful Kickstarters, which I only mention for the sake of the haters. Thankfully, new businesses have emerged in the interim, with many unfortunately within the carcasses of failed predecessors. Another reason for my return is to encourage people to support local in this time of division, fear, and ignorance. Know that my goal is to convey positive energy to these struggling restaurants, most of which, like many, don't require my review for validation. The Firm is one such location. )
