Before I was blessed with my daughter Lily, I envisioned her birth would be in some sunny hospital room, my husband by my side, kind nurses diligently making sure I was comfortable and a nice epidural masking the pain of my dear one's arrival. I thought I would instantly fall in love with my child, a baby I wanted for at least a decade and who I was in a wonderful position to care for and who I was positive I would breastfeed 100 percent. I figured," I'm smart, I can figure this out." In addition to all this, I truly thought I had no expectations. After all, I didn't expect her to be perfect or anything! Ironically, my baby was the only thing that was perfect. Her birth was horrible, I didn't enjoy a second of it! It was raining, the epidural didn't work, the pain was horrifying and by the time the baby came, I felt completely violated and didn't even want to see her. I felt angry, cheated and at the same time an all encompassing guilt that I didn't even want to hold or see my child. Hours, and a few vicodin later, I was able to begin to enjoy my daughter and begin the process of bonding.
A week and a half later I trudged into a breastfeeding group put on by Joanna Whitlow, founder of For Moms and Babies. One medical issue had forced me to feed my newborn formula as a supplement and another had forced me to pump and dump and feed her only formula for a little while. I was trying desperately to breastfeed my baby and keep her happy at the same time. Even though I knew it was ridiculous, I felt ashamed that I had been unable to exclusively feed her at my bosom. My dreams of being "mom enough" were shattered, and up until this point I didn't even realize I had such expectations of myself. Joanna's breastfeeding group was warm and insightful. As a lactation specialist, Joanna was there helping each new mom, young or old, rich or poor, experienced or inexperienced in a unique way that they could accept. She was not pushy or judgmental at all and her only agenda was to help us Moms successfully feed our babies breast milk and to create community among us.
In addition to the breast feeding group, Joanna also ran a support group for mommies of babies under six months. This group furthered the cause of creating community. As a trauma specialist, I know that two things far exceed the power of any therapeutic intervention when it comes to healing. These two very important things consist of sharing the story of the event and good old fashioned time. Although the birth of my daughter was a very welcome event, it was still a complete shock to my system and disrupted my life entirely. Both groups provided a place for me to tell my story and gave time a chance to do its magic.
I enjoyed attending both Joanna's breastfeeding group as well as the Mom's group. Today most of us Moms still get together on a bi-weekly basis and support each other as Moms and as friends. We all have a special bond that would not exist if it weren't for Joanna. Without Joanna's help I can guarantee you I would have quit breastfeeding my daughter within the first month, but with her help and the support of the group we made it to five months. Today I have a healthy, beautiful, happy little girl who got to experience the benefits of breastfeeding. I greatly cherish the memories and moments of her being at my breast and I am forever grateful to Joanna for giving me the knowledge and support to get as far as we did. I highly recommend her services for anyone lucky enough to bump into her on this crazy journey of motherhood. read more