Pemi River is Evil Incarnate
For anyone who has yet to visit this camping site, save yourself the trouble and don't bother. To anybody that has gone and is considering returning: you should contact an emergency number and be locked away in a mental instutute because you believe in self torture. This camp site has not one redeeming quality and should be avoided by good natured campers like the plague.
Let's break down this disaster piece by piece, beginning with the most important aspect of any camping site, the location itself.
It could be said that the locale of Pemi River Stress Test is its one positive trait. It could be, if your standards are nonexistent.
The ground on the campsites are made up of 99% tree roots and jagged rocks. The other 1% are the tears of all the campers who have broken their feet and backs on these painful ground conditions.
There are lunch tables provided for each site, and they are rotting and useless for anything besides making the site look even more hideous.
There is a small, calm river a few yards away from the camping sites, and it brings with it the aroma of feces and pollution. A highway is a bit further beyond the river and trash is constantly tossed in, so you may be able to snag yourself a McDonald's meal or two as it comes floating downstream.
Crossing the Pemi River is made a breeze by a large red bridge you are more than welcome to walk across, if you feel like gambling with your life. The bridge is rusting and on the verge of crumbling, and likely cannot support the weight of more than a handful of individuals.
Surrounded by so much depression, you can imagine the rays of sunshine that are in charge of this place.
The ownership of Pemi River Torture Chamber is negligent and abusive in aspects that should be offensive to any paying customer. There are bathrooms and bathhouses provided at this site, which are splendid, if you enjoy the smell, texture, and overall vibe of rooms permanently stained with the dank stench of urine and human suffering. Showers were small 3x3 rooms littered with moths and spiders, with shower water cold enough to make you feel like an eskimo. As for the bathrooms, cleaner toilets could be found in 5 year old porta-potties. The owner, an elder, portly gentleman, is abrasive with a short temper. He seems to look for confrontation, driving around in his golf cart, leaving in his wake a trail of despair, moving from camp site to camp site, essentially belittling his paying customers. Several times in one day, he drove by our site and essentially insulted myself and my fellow camp-dwellers.
This owner is the true reason for the deplorable state of the Pemi River of Tears. His poor leadership has led to the disgusting bathouse situation metioned before. He's a megalomaniac on a golf cart, and his thirst for power can never be quenched. He greeted our camping group by saying that he was not afraid to kick any of us out. When you hear his golf cart approaching, you shake with fear of what this mad man may do or say.
It was on our second day of camping when we heard that dreaded golf cart speeding towards us. He rolled up and started yelling at us, claiming that we had not paid enough for our stay, in spite of us paying every single cent he charged us for. He took me and my friend who was in charge of the finances to his office to discuss the situation. When we arrived at his office, the situation simply kept escalating.
This man was furious with us, and he would not let us try to get a word in at all. He was practically foaming at the mouth he was so angry. He kept saying, "I need... I need..." Finally my friend and I just gave up and asked him, "How much more do you want? What do you need?"
This is when the owner looked us dead in the eye and said, "I need about tree fiddy."
It was around this time that my friend and I realized that the campsite owner was about seven stories tall and a crustacean from the Paleozoic era. Damn it, Nessie! That goddamn Loch Ness monster had fooled us again. We stood there screaming as he swam away.
Needless to say my friends and I left the camp grounds immediately, disappointed and upset about the disaster of a weekend we've had.
So, in conclusion: Pemi River Campground is subpar at best, the management is rude and incompetent, and the whole operation may or may not be run by a giant mythical monster. Save yourself the trouble and the money, and visit any one of the several significantly superior campsites anywhere else in New Hampshire. read more