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    The Hoity Toit Beer Joint

    4.1 (24 reviews)
    InexpensiveDive Bars
    Open 12:00 pm - 12:00 am (Next day)

    The Hoity Toit Beer Joint Photos

    THE HOITY TOIT BEER JOINT ATMOSPHERE

    What's the vibe?
    Moderate noise
    Outdoor seating
    Happy hour specials
    Good for groups

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    Recommended Reviews - The Hoity Toit Beer Joint

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    Karla D.

    Neighborhood dive bar with locals who are more than welcoming to visitors. Dog-friendly patio is a plus. Super service and great prices. *CASH ONLY*

    Adult time out!
    Amy W.

    Friendly neighborhood bar. Great service and nice people. We will return when we visit Nee Braunfels again.

    Exterior of location at night.
    Tara M.

    This is the very definition of a dive bar. Tucked away in a neighborhood at an offshoot of the Comql River, this has everything that you might want in a dive bar experience. Cheap beer (cash only!), variety of games (darts, pool, and slots), a jukebox filled with tunes and slots. The people hanging out, and the bar tender (just one) was busy but friendly. A great way for us to burn a few hours and get out of the heat. Even as a tourist, people treated us like we were locals. We will be back.

    World Famous y'all!
    Cameron Y.

    This is the most adorable, quintessential dive bar. When I was a kid I remember this koozie that my Dad's friend had that was hot pink and was from the Hoity Toit. There were drawings of peanuts, and the quote "happiness is a tight koozie"... and always thought it was such a kitschy, interesting koozie and I always wondered what this place would be like. (see pic of koozie) My brother now lives right down the street from this place and after seeing a concert at Whitewater Amphitheater I begged him to bring me here for a beer. As soon as we entered we knew we were in for a great time! It was karaoke night, which always makes for great entertainment. Lucky for us, there were some great singers in the crowd so it was more enjoyable than most. We sang along to most of the songs and danced a few. The bartender was super friendly. I wanted to buy a koozie but all they had in the cabinet was brown, so he went to the back to find me another color. He found me a neon orange bottle koozie that's real klassy like. Can't wait to go back next time I come to New Braunfels!

    a neon sign
    Brit W.

    Pool, cheap beer, asshole section, slots, Fran. My favorite place in NB. :)

    Love this on the wall!

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    10 years ago

    Bar was smokey inside and cash only. We came from out of town so that was a bummer we didn't have cash.

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    9 years ago

    Great little dive bar. The staff are great and the happy hour specials are the best in town. I can't wait to visit again!

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    Review Highlights - The Hoity Toit Beer Joint

    Careful or you might be sitting under the "Asshole Section" sign.

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    Uncharted

    Uncharted

    4.7
    (20 reviews)
    1.3 mi

    We were in New Braunfels for Father's Day. This amazing Tiki bar was the highlight of the day. It…read moreis in the basement of the Phoenix Saloon. You go way to the back and down a steep flight of stairs. My son, his wife, and I left my wife and grandbaby in the saloon and headed down. When you get down there, you are suddenly in a beautiful Tiki bar with so many amazing things to gawk at. It sort of felt like waking up in OZ. We were the first people there, so we got to sit at the bar and watch our drinks being made. They have about 15 or so different specialty tiki drinks. Each one comes in a particular piece of glassware. I don't know how the bartender keeps them straight. He was constantly pouring different things into a shaker. Then he would shake it and pour it into the glass that was already filled with crushed ice. One of the drinks even had a smoking cinnamon stick. My drink was really good. It was the Three Dots and a Dash. It came in a barrel and was decorated with a skull toothpick that had three cherries and a piece of pineapple to represent the dots and dash. It was super strong! I was ready to risk it all and go for another drink, but it had gotten packed inside the bar. We could tell the bartender was stressing. They really need two for times like that. My wife spends the night at my son's house in New Braunfels every Thursday to give them a date night. Evidently, this is where they always go. I can certainly see why!

    Really cool "hidden" bar under the Phoenix. It's really intimate so it's fun with a small group or…read moreeven a date. The decor is top notch and the drinks are so fun and so different. This is not a place to have a quick drink, as the bartenders really craft the art of the cocktail you order (expect 15-20 min for 2 drinks). I would love to come back and try more!

    Photos
    Uncharted
    Very fun and unique presentation for the "Uncharted" drink! So tasty.
    Very fun and unique presentation for the "Uncharted" drink! So tasty.
    Uncharted

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    The Black Whale Pub

    The Black Whale Pub

    4.2
    (63 reviews)
    1.2 mi
    $$

    For several years, I have been the person responsible for cooking the family Thanksgiving dinner…read more Although it is not a task that I dislike, it does take some energy to get it on the table. Fortunately, if it can be considered fortunate, I had a total reverse shoulder replacement surgery a week before Thanksgiving this year. That gave me a "get out of kitchen" pass. We decided that Thanksgiving would be held at my son's house in New Braunfels. He and his wife have an 11.5 month old baby, so it's easier to do it there anyway. To simplify things, they shopped around, looking for a ready to serve, prepared Thanksgiving dinner. They selected the Black Whale because it was the most affordable, and they had heard good things about the place. The dinner package came with a turkey, gravy, dressing, mashed potatoes, greenbean casserole, and a pumpkin or pecan pie. They chose the pecan pie. When my daughter-in-law went to pick up the meal, the Black Whale had also thrown in a loaf of bread and a small loaf of cranberry cornbread. Altogether, they more than gave us our money's worth for this meal. Everything about the meal was good. The turkey was moist, juicy, and flavorful. I don't know how they cooked it or how they prepared it before cooking, but it definitely had flavor throughout. The dressing came in a little round foil pan and looked like some kind of rolls. It was absolutely delicious! It had a little bit of turkey meat in it that gave it a great mouth feel. But the seasoning was what really made it great. The mashed potatoes were very buttery and delicious, even though they were a little runnier than I like. The gravy over all of it was very good. I am not a very big fan of green bean casserole. I liked it back in the day when it first started showing up. But, after so many decades, I'm kind of over it. This was really delicious. It had lots of extra flavors in it. I'm pretty sure they used bits of ham. Since I am a boomer, the green beans could've been cooked a little bit more. My generation likes them cooked to death. I really don't remember my mother using fresh green beans for anything back in the day. I wish they had given us a much larger loaf of the cranberry cornbread. It was amazing. I had never tried a cornbread with fruit in it before. This was moist, sweet, and tart at the same time. The pecan pie was very good. I only wish I had had some whipped topping or vanilla ice cream to put on it. It could've been homemade. I don't think there's really much they could have done to make this a better Thanksgiving feast. Our family was very happy with it. Kudos to the Black Whale for a job well done!

    Food here I don't really grab much food, but their wings are pretty good. Service is always great…read morebehind the bar. This is the old new Braunfels and a lot of people love their service that they bring to the table. Ambience is like a cheers bar. Everybody will know your name eventually

    Photos
    Pick 3: pretzel chips, cheese curds & kartoffelchips
    Pick 3: pretzel chips, cheese curds & kartoffelchips
    Kartoffelpuffers and Beef on Weck
    Kartoffelpuffers and Beef on Weck
    Vodka Soda

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    Vodka Soda
    Freiheit Country Store

    Freiheit Country Store

    3.5
    (380 reviews)
    3.1 mi
    $$

    Eating out with a 16-month-old is like dining with a ticking time bomb. You never know if they're…read moregoing to sit happily and enjoy the meal or suddenly decide to scream at the top of their lungs! Because of that, I've recently found myself searching for family-friendly restaurants with large outdoor areas. That way, if my little one gets fussy, I can walk around with him, and we're not stuck inside worrying about disturbing other diners. Freiheit Country Store was perfect for our needs. The outdoor area is large and spacious, and the overall atmosphere is very family-friendly. It has a relaxed vibe that feels just right for families with young children. One small observation: I do wish some parents paid a little more attention to their kids. It had recently rained, and a boy was throwing rocks into a puddle, causing water and mud to splash onto my husband's back. We politely asked him to stop, but he continued, and we couldn't spot a parent nearby. As for the food, it was served quickly, arrived hot, and tasted great. No complaints there. My husband also appreciated the simple and efficient ordering process. Overall, this is a great spot to grab a bite to eat, enjoy a cold beer, and relax in a family-friendly environment. We'll definitely be back

    Very friendly atmosphere- fast service- food was excellent- enjoyed the chicken fried steak- Frito…read morepie was very good!

    Photos
    Stage
    Stage
    The Kerry
    The Kerry
    Store front - entrance on the back side of the building

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    Store front - entrance on the back side of the building
    The Pour Haus

    The Pour Haus

    3.5
    (156 reviews)
    1.4 mi
    $$

    The Pour House is a cool outdoor venue to just chill with your favorite people and enjoy some good…read moremusic. Plenty of seating options from stools to Adirondack chairs, as well as fire pits for those chilly nights. They don't actually serve food, but there is a food truck outside the entrance. I don't know if it changes, but this truck offered tacos and quesadillas that night. We didn't have any. Drinks are just OK. Beer selection is poor if you're a picky beer drinker. The margaritas are from a machine and a little on the weak side. Since I was the DD, I ordered a soda and it was awful. A lot of bars go cheap and serve off-brand sodas because people will mix them with alcohol and not notice that they aren't the "real deal." I couldn't drink it. It was so bad, I shuddered after every sip - and then I gave up. I ordered a water, and that was just as terrible! I don't know if it's the dispenser gun that carries over the flavors of everything else that comes out of it, or the ice is funky, or what, but I couldn't drink that either. I wish they'd have bottled water or something. Canned soda? Something that will make it enjoyable for everyone, not just the alcohol consumers? Being an occasional DD, there has to be something for me to enjoy, too, since I'm the one who decides how long we'll stay and when we'll leave if it's not good. Service was walk-up to the bar. Still, I give it 4 stars just because the overall vibe is really cool and the band we love was playing that night.

    Not much color. Is what it is, I mean, we know it's in New Braunfels. Went on a Wednesday night…read more Ordered a Dos and a margarita. Come up to $13. That wasn't bad. They had a live band this night. Loved that. Soul something. Pretty good set. The place itself was nice. A lot of seating and room to move around. I only wish they had food or some sort of dedicated food truck close by.

    Photos
    The Pour Haus
    The Pour Haus
    The Pour Haus

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    Jack's Roadhouse

    Jack's Roadhouse

    3.7
    (18 reviews)
    14.3 mi
    $

    I went to Jack's this past Wednesday for karaoke night and had a great time. They call it a…read more"Roadhouse" which I guess is another word for "dive bar", but in the most flattering sense of the word. However, let me clarify. Jack's is not a hipster dive bar. You will not hear greasy-haired young men wearing their girlfriends' pants telling you about this place and how you've probably never heard of it because only people in the know really know about it. I can guarantee you that no one at Jack's has ever heard of Animal Collective, and nor do they care to. Jack's is a genuine Texas roadhouse. Being a Wednesday night, the crowd was small and there seemed to be a lot of regulars. The two gals working behind the bar were really friendly and stopped to talk with everyone sitting at the bar for a bit while still keeping up with people's drink orders. The atmosphere was as friendly as the bartenders, and by the end of the night everyone was joking with everyone else and pretty much just having a great time. Everyone who went up to sing karaoke was given a rousing round of applause afterwords, no matter how good or bad they might have been. People were smoking inside, but they have a lot of fans going and the ceilings are relatively high, so the air didn't seem that smoky. The decor inside kind of defies description, but let's just say that there were a whole bunch of bras and thongs glued to the ceiling above the bar and no explanation was offered as to why, though I didn't ask. I'll have to ask next time. After one visit, this place has become my favorite bar in San Marcos. I will definitely be going back. I might even eventually muster up the courage to sing at karaoke night.

    Unless you're looking for something to smoke or put up your nose. Or get over poured. Or need a…read morehook up. Please pass. I LOVE a good dive bar. Staff was fully aware of the happenings. Not my jam. One and done. Be warned if you're an out of towner. Drug deals right and left. Just pass. Dive bars should be fun, eclectic, weird, and gritty. I wish I could give less than one star.

    Photos
    Single vodka a Coke. Over pour. So sad.
    Single vodka a Coke. Over pour. So sad.
    The host as elvis from time to time.
    The host as elvis from time to time.
    Jack's Roadhouse

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    The Hoity Toit Beer Joint - divebars - Updated July 2026

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