**screams in Howard Dean**
Philadelphia has been declining in wine garden polls for weeks. Existing wine gardens here in the city of brotherly love have severely under performed and unfortunately failed to truly resonate with the wine snob coalition. This demoralizing fact threatens our way of life. We had a spark when we started, but now we're just garbage.
Yes, we were on the verge of dying a gruesome death on the vine.
Analysts confirmed an irrefutable fact -- that one more opening of a completely sour wine garden in our glorious city would shatter our image beyond repair.
In comes The Wine Garden, nestled between Bookers and a building without a name. I caught an ad on IG and immediately gathered all of my friends that majored in Art History for a ripping good time. I rarely drink wine, but hell.. I want to drink/try something new, you feel me.
We arrived around 8PM on Friday, August 23rd, 2019. I walked in with an oversized white dress shirt with a Malcolm X hat on and the MC gave me daps and said "ehh heh hah hah!"
I assume that was his way of greeting me, as he was as lit as the amazon rain forest. As I approached the bar, he then started rapping what I believe to be the musical stylings of Master Of Ceremonies Lyte.
This man, I'll call him Bogart, played a crucial part of keeping the enjoyment factor high. On a scale of 1 to 10, he was rabid wolverine with it -- getting people involved, dancing, cracking jokes, flashing lights.
I know when Bogart lists this job on his resume, he'll have about a dozen bullet points of responsibilities on that jawn.
"Increased productivity by 3000%." I see it now.
I sauntered to the bar and ordered a glass of Merlot. I took a deep sniff and detected a hint of grapes. This confirms that I was actually served wine. 3 stars awarded. I then started to fully embrace wine mom culture.
Ambiance is everything, right? Beautiful decor! Wooden tables everywhere, with fun cliche wine puns on them to get your IG litter than lit. An alluring neon pink logo hanging over a grass backdrop that makes the DJ pop. Specialty drinks and specials. Excellent presentation.
The people who run this place seem pretty cool. Definitely pleasant to talk to and interact with. They even let a couple bring their small dogs in the place, which garnered mixed reactions from my group.
Music was consistently good, a mix of classic rap and throwback R&B.
The only grapes, I mean gripes I have are as follows:
- It was raining earlier in the day, so water constantly dripped off the top of the bar onto me while while I was ordering.
- The overall layout of the place. You're in a narrow alley-like area, so if you're sitting in the back, all of the excitement (DJs, lights, energy, dancing) is at the entrance, leaving you in the shadows, literally and figuratively.
- Perfect layout for bums to stumble in and ask for money. Had one stumble in and it took a couple minutes before they were removed. Perhaps a chill bouncer would help.
- Lack of anything else to drink -- I know, I know, I hear you. It's a wine garden. You sound like my girlfriend. But still, a small and light beer selection would be the move.
Fortunately, Bookers is next door, so you can order whatever you want over there and bring it over to the garden. Just know that whatever drinks or food you bring in, you must take out. We were taken a back a little bit when the owner popped out of nowhere and told us remove our beer bottles.
Still, 4 stars. I definitely will return before the hood becomes too aware of it's existence. read more