Tip Extortion
Been going there occasionally for 5 years. Service was hit and miss. Some staff friendly, some merely aloof, some seemingly hostile. Never could figure it out. Gave them the benefit of the doubt. I always support independent shops when possible. Friends don't let friends go to Starbucks...
A few days ago it became clear. I ordered a bagel and requested it be toasted enough not to be raw inside. About half the time that's what I got. I paid and saw they wanted a tip upfront. I feel asking for a tip before earning it is unethical. So I selected no tip. I would gladly leave a dollar after.
One of the staff, let's call him "Chris", toasted my bagel and delivered it to me burnt. No overdone. Burnt. As in mostly black. I said it was burnt. He replied that I requested it "double toasted". I looked at him like he was speaking in Swahili. I explained that I merely wanted it toasted and not raw inside. He insisted that I ordered it that way. He did not take my order. I said she wrote it but I did not say it. He insisted that I, the customer, was somehow so stupid as to not know how to order a bagel.
I said "would you eat this"? Amazingly, he said with a straight face "yes". I replied that he could eat it but I want what I ordered.
The baged was an insult. A childish lame attempt at revenge or punisihment.
At this point "Chris" leaned over and told me I should be nice. Nice? Nice! I was flabbergasted. I was being scolded by kid a third my age. I was stunned. Was this a joke? Yes, but he was serious.
It was an absolutely stunning display of passive-aggressive behavior. Delivered with a condescending smirk and self-righteousness.
I replied that I am not nice and so what. He then insisted that I be nice. I said I am from the Midwest and we tend to be direct. It's not rude. It's the way we communicate. Honestly without hedging. This sailed right over his head unacknowledged,
Then the truth. You didn't leave a tip he said. How did he know I didn't tip on the little checkout screen? I tried to explain my view on tipping that it needs to be earned. "Chris" was adamant that they expect tips as they are not paid much and work "hard". I reiterated my view and called tipping up front unearned and possibly undeserved as like Socialism. "Chris" did not like that and said that "people of my generation (Boomers are Bad!) don't get it."
He further lectured me on how underpaid they were and that the "need" and thus "deserve" tips regardless of what service they offer. He then declared that a dollar tip was entirely insufficient. I replied that $1 on a $4 bagel was a 25% tip. He repeated that it was too little regardless. I said then how much is fair. He did not answer. My guess is that he knew as much about the mathematics of percentages as he knows about Swahili dialects.
I offered that if they were to ask for tips after, the honorable way, they would earn more. People are motivated above all by fairness and would hedge on tips not knowing if they would be earned.
"Chris" gave me the obligatory hourly-wage employee response that "that's the way it is"... The self-declared creatives have the ingenuity of cows munching grass.
Then a kid decided to be a hero and intervened saying "WE don't have a problem with the tipping". In a stunning display of sociotropic behavior, he elected himself to defend the shop and represent all other patrons. I ran out of patience and told him to STFU. At this point the heroine server, who decided I like burnt bagels, told me to leave. So I did leave. I regret every penny I spent there to support their shop.
So now I know why even as I liked the layout of the place, and all their countless little books promoting a myriad of pretentious woke socialist utopia topics, I never felt comfortable there. The all-inclusive did not like me invading their "Safe Space". Instead of just telling me "hey, this is our space not yours Boomer Boy" they instead were a case study in passive aggressiveness. A coward's way to feel all smug and self-righteous.
Since they present themselves as fans of "literature" here is a literary quote (Kurt Vonnegut Jr. in Slaughterhouse Five... said to the character Billy Pilgrim in a hospital upon his return from being a prisoner of war in Dresden, Germany...
"I can carve a better man out of a banana"
So I see that they have high ratings from their intended audience and I am a mere interloper. My little One star rating will not be noticed.
I will end this saying "Be Nice"... "Stay Safe".... be good little normies.... tell your friends to go to Starbucks.
p.s. The Wolverine is the state animal of Michigan, where I am from. It is fearless and righteous. No other animal takes it on. You don't deserve the name. May I suggest the "Weasel Farm Safe Place"... read more