What a great place to hang with some friends and have a great time watching turtles race! I mean come on! Turtle Races! Where else can you watch turtles take each other on in a grudge match that can last for a while because they are not that fast... We not only went and drank but we also got into the race and WON! Woo Hoo a free Joe's T-Shirt!! Good Times... read more

The MC is hilarious - definitely recommend. Good prices and a good atmosphere. Turtle races are tons of fun.

Went here for the turtle races, but it took FOREVER for the guy to begin. We could only take so much of the awful crowd before we had to abandon any hope of seeing the turtles race. The place is a dive, which was fine...but it got really cramped in there. Also, the turtle wrangler seriously needs to be nicer to the turtles. Several times he would open the box, look in at them, and then shove the box in the corner really hard. Be nicer, turtle abuser. Also, why not let them walk around a bit? Why are these turtles trapped in a cardboard box?! Big Joe's is cash-only, which is lame but wasn't an issue with us. The beer was fine and not too expensive. It was a combination of awful drunk college girls, turtle abuse and claustrophobia that sent us packing. Was actually really excited to go here, but was really disappointed. Bummer. read more

Cool turtle racing bar. Good service and decent prices. My only suggestion is to do something different with the turtle races. If your ticket isn't pulled and you aren't assigned a turtle then the race is boring, as you have no rooting interest. Maybe do something where you can bet your tickets on the turtle you think is going to win and then a ticket is pulled from the winning turtle. Overall, I'd recommend to others. read more

A friend turned 30. We needed Jaeger shots. I think you know what comes next, but how did we wind up at Joe's? Not by taking the 92 bus, rather stumbling out of a fabulous NeoFuturist play called "Beer". LOVED the play. So hard. And loved Joe's. Renee, the bartender, was a delight. I like places that don't try too hard. You respect them, they pour shots to the rim of the glass. You put Afro Man on the jukebox, everyone cheers. They host private parties in the back, but the party goers are practically family by the end of the night. Loved the whole scene. Loved the guy with thick-rimmed 70's specs and a goatee. Loved the fat man in a leather vest. Loved the scenesters with sequins. Bottom line, good, strong drinks with a mosaic of Chicagoans around just chatting and carrying on. It's too legit. Too legit to quit. read more

Being successful in business is providing a product/service no one else does. I do believe Big Joe's has succeeded where others have failed with Turtle Races. Yes, for the price of a few beers you can watch 6 turtles go neck and neck. (Neck and neck being a relative term in regards to turtles). Takes place every Friday and the first Saturday of every month. This is a neighborhood bar, which means there is a healthy mix of locals, and patrons here for the races. read more

I celebrated my birthday (again!) here a few nights ago. All I can say is WOW!!! The bartendress was wasted and a lot of fun! My friend and I sat at the bar for a while and made up a drinking game for The Bachelor. The bartendress kept coming over and being silly and we loved it! Then the rest of our party showed up and we quickly took over the back room. The bartendress was quick with the pitchers and making us all laugh. Big Joe's is a great neighborhood bar. read more

Did you say Turtle Racing? Yes please!!! The place was SUPER packed and the guys behind the bar were great. I asked if they had wine (I know), and he literally looked at me and said "you're kidding, right?" HA! Love it! We got a bunch of tickets with our drinks and settled upstairs hoping and praying to be called! As luck would have it folks, my ticket was called and I literally could not have been more excited. I ran up to the man in the turtle hat, pulled out my ball and sighhhh #5 Jolanda! SLOWEST turtle in the pack! Jolanda literally sat in the middle and just stared at me...she wasnt budging. I still got a drink token though and had a blast competing with the other turtle racers! We stayed for a bit longer, but once you've seen a few races its time to move on. Its definitely a fun place to frequent...everyone really gets into the racing and its quite hysterical. If you havent been definitely check it out. read more

I came here with some friends last Friday for turtle racing. In order to race, you gotta buy drinks in order to get raffle tickets, and then raffle tickets are drawn/called every 15 minutes or so. Since we all wanted to race, we bought a bunch of drinks (4+ rounds of shots, good strategy Big Joe's). Drinks were average, and some were tasty, particularly the redheaded sluts and the lemon drops. I ended up sticking with a woodchuck for the rest of the night. I finally got called at the end, and picked Lucky Dan. Lucky Dan was on a winning streak that night actually, but unfortunately didn't win during my turn :( Sho shad. read more

I wasn't going to write a review for this place but the girl below who said she wouldn't walk around the neighborhood is forcing me to write one. Since I live 2 blocks away with my 10 month old baby - I can assure you that it's a perfectly safe neighborhood to walk around... It's 3 blocks from Andersonville which is extremely safe. Try living in the neighborhood before you make judgements. Big Joe's is just ok. It's a major dive bar with cheap beer. It reminds me of Newport Bar & Grill off from Soutthport. read more

My brother took me here for Friday night turtle racing and was shocked I hadn't been before as this place is just a few blocks from me! It's a fun concept to cheer on a turtle, and people get really invested! You can buy raffle tickets, although I forget the point of the raffle tickets (we were obviously throwing a few back)...it had something to do with the race. Don't expect any fancy drinks here, just your classic Chicago beers and domestic bottles. They have Little Sumpin Sumpin which made me happy. read more

I haven't had a chance to see the infamous turtle race yet but I heard it gets pretty crazy and loud. I will probably pass on that one. Cheap booze, darts, pool table and juke box. What the hell else do you need for a dive? Friendly regulars and cool owners. Little bit on the older crowd but if you are chilling inside a dive bar, you are not there for a company. You are there to get smashed! Plenty of free parking which is always the plus. Especially when they will raise the price starting Jan. 1st. If I were to stay in Chicago, I can see myself being a regular at this place. read more

Am I biased? Absolutely. Joe pays for my darts team's fees. So? That's good business; that's a guaranteed return on a small fee every time the bar hosts, and I get to have fun with my friends. Look, if you want a good neighborhood bar, this is the place. The bar staff are friendly, and they remember who remembers to tip. You will see Joe around a lot, he looks exactly like the sign. A few TV's, an electronic jukebox with a decent selection. Like pool? They got a table for that. And probably would sponsor a team if you asked. Like darts? They have four boards. Real boards! I mean, the bar is named after Joe's typical scores in darts: 2 and 6. And he probably would sponsor a team if you asked. Just remember, don't run up/down the stairs while someone is throwing on the board by the stairs, the old timers will get pissed. Jazz on Sundays: excellent. A bunch of skilled local jazz artists sitting around jamming. Turtle Races on Fridays: definitely entertaining. Remember to get there a little early to get access to the bar, for three reasons: better access to the bar, more drinks = more chances to win, and fewer people (which increases your ticket power, too!). read more

I won't go in to detail about the turtle racing because so many other people have. It is something everyone should check out at least once and a good place to take visitors (even though it's a bit off the main path). A few people have said the crowd is frat boy-tastic. Not at all. How seriously can anyone take themselves when watching turtle racing? The bar does get packed on Friday so a bit of pushing and shoving can be necessary if you need to pee, but that's just the nature of the place. Turtle races are going on, remember? In general I found everyone to be friendly. The bartender even gave me a free pitcher because he noticed I'd been waiting for a while. Good times, a good place- do it. read more

This is the most fun with turtles since the teenage mutant ninja type. At Big Joe's beer/drinks = tickets and tickets could = chance to be in turtle racing so drink up. Our number wasn't called through 4 races but maybe that is better than getting "Yolanda! The slowest turtle in the world!" They also broadcast the live turtle races on the TVs in front so no need to go huddle around the turtle track. Winners get a free t-shirt which no one would sell to me for $20 and last place gets a free drink. Everyone's happy! Except 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th but who remembers them anyway. Big Joe's embraces the "dive" theme to the fullest. Pitchers of Lagunitas IPA are only $15 and likely the most expensive drink they sell. There is no real food but somebody came in selling whole hot pizzas. You can buy bags of chips, Cheetos, or nuts behind the counter. Go with a medium sized group because you will get more tickets but it also isn't the biggest so you don't want to be able to fit at a small table. Turtle racing starts at 10 and they space out 6 races but get there a bit early to start stock piling raffle tickets. Cowabunga dude! read more

well, I could really just mention the turtle races and that should be enough for the 5 stars right there. But even aside from the action-packed friday nights that host turtle racing, this is a fun divey-bar. I always prefer local bars that I can stumble back from if need be as opposed to ultra-trendy-over-priced-cab-fare-needed hangouts in the more attractive neighborhoods... and Joe's most certainly fits into the first category. I love it here. For the most part, its just really laid back and people are pretty friendly. It's also a good mix of people. A pretty large older crowd (all blue-collar, cops and fireman and such), and there's a pretty steady young/local crowd here on weekends. Friday nights can get crazy and packed but are ALWAYS a good time... no dress code here, just come as you are and have a great time. Even if you hate dives and normally wouldn't venture in... you have to try out the turtle races on friday nights. Come in whenever, they go all night, about every 1/2 hour or so... and usually everyone gets a chance to race (you get tickets when you buy drinks, and then they draw to assign turtles). Plus... the winner gets to wear the turtle hat until the next race... who can pass on that?!?!?! read more

Wow, i like it. i didn't go on turtle night but my friend said that it was really busy on turtle night. that's gross. turtles carry salmonella. i hope people don't touch the turtles. or step on them. that's even grosser. i went on a saturday and there was hardly anyone there. that's good because i didn't want to go to a crowded place. then i could talk to my friends and actually hear them. we played darts, too and they had a pool table. they had a jukebox but it never played our songs. the lady that worked there was a nice person too. i think the bathrooms were ok. read more

Seeking a low-key night out, two friends and I hit Big Joe's for the turtle races. We grabbed some inexpensive beer and found a spot where we'd get a great view of the races. For some reason (ha!), watching turtles walk around a circle until one of them crosses out doesn't sound all that special. But at Big Joe's, turtle racing is a blast. The excitement is contagious! We left by midnight; after cheering on a few rounds of turtles (and gabbing for hours at dinner beforehand), we figured we'd experienced the best Big Joe's had to offer. I don't think I'll return for awhile, but I'd definitely be open to going again for a low-key Friday night! Bring cash. read more

Cool little place right next to my friend's house, so it makes it convenient to fall into. Friday nights I think are the turtle races, which is something to see. They give you all of these raffle tickets depending on how many drinks you order. The tickets decide who will be racing the turtles, and I guess you can win some sort of prizes. All and all, it's something new to check out if you're in the area. I wouldn't go out of my way to go here, but it sure as heck beats the club scene. read more

A long time ago, I promised to move this place up to 5 stars if they got a TV above the bar that showed the races (check) and if they could keep my eyeballs from drying up like a raisin from the smoke (check). The TV broadcast of the race is indeed a fantastic addition, its much easier to get into the races if you don't arrive super early to secure a table by the 'racetrack' and its a little easier to find a path to the surprisingly clean bathroom. The staff is nice and has a great personality. I'm sure summer will still be hot as Hades in here, but without the smoke it will be a million times easier to enjoy. Its a great, lively place for an birthday, out of town guests (who don't mind a fun, lively night in a dive) etc read more

Two words: TURTLE. RACING. Buying drinks will get you raffle tickets. If your ticket number is called, you're assigned a turtle. If you win, you could win a free t-shirt and a drink. If you are last place, you get a free drink. Drinks are reasonably priced. Win-win. The drunker you get, the more hilarious it is. Although the idea of turtle racing is incredibly silly, I will not frequent this bar for that event because it will get old fast. Other than the turtles, this is is your typical friendly neighborhood bar. read more

We showed up at 9:45pm last Friday and the races had already begun! We had to wait outside for at least 45 minutes. This was my 2nd time going, and the first time we went, the races definitely started later in the night. It just depends on how busy they are. Cash Only. Have a few snacks (chips and jerky) but no food. Around midnight a pizza guy came in and sold pizzas for $12 each... what a lifesaver. read more

"Yes, this bar has turtle racing. That is the only reason I would ever know this bar existed... and perhaps the only reason I would trek all the way up north from the loop. But I definately recommend you check it out. Friday nights, be there. The bar is definately a dive, but it caters to the turtle racing theme. Pitchers are 7 or 8 bucks, and you get a raffle ticket for turtle racing with every drink you buy. I've been to this bar 3 times, and I have always received free drinks from the bartenders ... they're super friendly. Don't bother wearing your sunday's best to this bar, unless you are trying to impress the turtles. It is not a huge bar, so I recommend getting there prior to the start of the races (9:00pm). So start your pre-gamin early. It is a cash only bar. There's a 7-11 down the street with an ATM if need be. Miller products are not sold. The bar used to be really smoky, but that shouldn't be a problem now (and better for the little turtles). My suggestion: go here with a group of friends for a random night and be inspired. No body should walk through life a "turtle racing virgin". (You understand once you go there) ..." read more

I lost my (turtle racing) virginity at Big Joe's last night. Yes, that's what they say when you get lucky enough to have your ticket # called to go race a turtle. Less than half of our planned group showed up for our planned turtle racing adventure, but as it turned out that was a good thing. Not only was Big Joe's already packed, but it with fewer friends showing up, the greater our odds were of getting called up to race. The atmosphere here is just downright madness during the races, with everyone stopping what they're doing to observe each race (every 10 minutes or so) and go crazy cheering for their turtle of choice. In between I found everyone I talked to be nearly as enjoyable as the races--not a bad attitude to be found here. The prices were average for a dive--and hey, you get turtle racing lotto tickets with each drink, so who even cares how much you're paying? The bartenders did a heroic job of trying to keep up with drink demand, but even so, service at times was going just about as fast as Jolanda (Big Joe's self described "slowest f**king turtle in the world). But as you can probably guess, the slow service didn't detract enough from the experience of good people, cheap drinks, and turtle racing(!) to harm my first Big Joe's experience. I'll be coming back, and this time Lola won't let me down...2nd place? Seriously? read more

There's one piece of manamallian communication that I think pretty much sums up the night at Big Joe's: "Zak. Yo Zak. ZAK! YO ZAK! ..... ... hey whatsup?" Yes. DePaul apparently loves this place. And though it's very, very crowded, hot, and i was at times questioning their ability to check IDs, it still manages to be a pretty good time. It was fun, though 90% of the people at Big Joe's were there for the first time, if that gives you any idea of how much fun it is. read more

Big Joes is really two different bars: a local dive for alcoholics ONLY all of the week, and a quirky hipster mecca on Friday nights. I'll be brief on the first part, I showed up early for happy hour/pre-turtle racing around 6:30ish one night and it was one of the few times I felt a deafening silence as I walked into the place. Every regular looked at me with that "its not time for people like you to ruin our bar yet" stare , and the bartenders were equally perplexed and almost reluctant to serve me. Strange, mildly scary stuff And then, in come the turtles. This place is a must for anyone who wants to see something quintessentially Chicago, and utterly ridiculous. For the uninitiated, dozens of drunks buy as much beer as possible so that they can be "turtle jockeys" for the six turtles who will race from the center of a table to its end to win a prize. Everyone else treats this like the Kentucky Derby and screams their lungs out while they plod along the table. Insanely silly? Sure it is, but that's what makes it one hell of a party. The beer sucks, but its cheap, and the genuinely excited people wrap you up in the joys of this event until the entire bar gets whipped into a frenzy for each race. Hell, someone brought Red Velvet cupcakes one night and just started handing them out. You either love it or you hate it, put me in the first category. read more

First things first: There is no turtle racing on the first Saturday of the month! That ended some time ago and I was pretty fucking disappointed by that. I will be there next Friday to check this shit out. This place was pretty awesome -- pitchers filled so full that I had to drink some of it at the bar, decent jukebox, good crowd. They have the cleanest bathroom I have ever seen in ANY bar, but it was surprising considering this place. There was even spray deodorant in case you forgot to wear any. My group of 6 got free shots, which ruled pretty hard, especially considering that we didn't chat with the bartender all that much. The only downside was that my music selection got mocked by the bartender and there is no need to mock Jolie Holland! She may not have been the right mood music at the time, but I quite enjoyed it myself. read more

There's only one reason to come to Joe's: the famous TURTLE RACES. I have yet to experience anything like it. You have to come with a plan though: bring cash, wear layers, arrive early, stock up on drinks, and find a good spot near the race table. If you don't, then you're bound to be disappointed, or--even worse--finding another bar to spend your evening at. read more

I came. I raced. I won a t-shirt. Hooray for Lucky Dan! 5 stars if we'd only discovered the cheap Bud Light pitchers earlier. ($25 Stella pitchers put a hurtin' on the wallet) Another reason for only 4 stars: because even though we were assured the turtles are cool with their celebrity status, I wouldn't want a bar full of drunks yelling at me every Friday night. Love Big Joe's for a great, unpretentious place to get away from the obnoxious bar scene farther south. We got there a little early, started buying beer to accumulate tickets and chances to race. We got a great table right by the action and watched them set up the turtle racing table. Here's how the racing works: Buy drinks, get tickets. Every 30 minutes or so, a new race starts. Guy in a crazy turtle hat calls out numbers on a microphone. If you match, you run to the table like your name just got called by Bob Barker, screaming and waving your ticket. Pick a ping pong ball and you've picked one of 6 lovely turtles to jockey (aka cheer for like a madman). The turtles are put in the center ring, first one to the edge of the outer circle wins! Ready, set, yell your ass off! If your turtle wins, you get a t-shirt and a chance to race in the grand prixe final race. If your turtle comes in last, you get a token for a free drink. Three out of the four of us who went got to jockey, and had a fabulous, though fuzzy at the end, time. Go here on Fridays for the turtle races, but go early (8:30-9:00) for a good seat and to get a jump on the tickets. Be prepared for some serious crowds by 10 or 11, but hopefully by then you'll be too sauced to care. read more

Guaranteed a night of random fun for you and a group of friends. I think you could go there solo and make friends. Staff was very friendly. I give them kudos because I imagine the fun-loving and relatively obnoxious patrons could become annoying every Friday for the turtle races. Spend money at the bar and you get a ticket for every dollar you spend. Those tickets could then be drawn for you chance to win some very sweet schwag in the event your turtle wins the race. Prizes include: Big Joe's XXL t-shirts and thongs for the ladies. Go get you some Big Joe's. It's worth the effort to get there. read more

A friend took us all out to see the Turtle Races a few Fridays ago and when I entered the place I knew, THIS IS MY NEW BAR. I'm a midwestern girl who will choose a comfy, relaxed, (read: dive) over a crowded frat joint any day. It's as if they lifted this place out of the north woods of Wisconsin. How lucky are we? The bartender and owner could not have been nicer. When I asked to see if they had Hacker-Pschorr, they not only had it but insisted I get the proper glass. That's notthing magical if you're used to $12 martinis and valet parking but for a relaxed place like Big Joes's the extra touch feels special. read more

do it just once if you must. see the turtles race. if you are an animal lover try to restrain the protest you may feel - supposedly the turtles live like kings and queens every other minute of the day not spent being heckled by drunkards. upon seeing the ninja turtles confined within a crate i immediately wanted to make a poster demanding to "free willy.... er michaelangelo, leonardo, donatello, raphael & co". most dudes were in the college freshman fratty uniform of cheesy slogan shirts, sports hat, and weirdly faded jeans and the dudettes strung along their arms had the bare essentials covered, paired with long socks, uggs, with straightened hair. so i sipped on my beer waiting for this race, pondering the ethics of it all and once the race was over i was instantly ready to leave. it was fraggin hot, the kiddies around me where loud, sweaty, and smelly, and the poor turtles... after i watched the turtles panicky and freaked out or "racing" i was already ready to go... and so we promptly left read more

Bartenders are great. Sorry to ruin the fun but the turtle thing is cruel. They're living beings and experience distress just like every other living being. I hate that they do this. Can't they come up with a game that involves something other than a living reptile? read more

It's turtle racing season again! Again, my number was not called. :( But a couple of my friend's were! Being able to watch the races from the TV was ideal for our group since the actual racing area was out of sight for us. Big Joe's is by no means huge, so be prepared for it to be crowded-especially on Fridays (race night). Women: don't attempt to go to el baño during the races---you'll be sorry or you'll just decide the line is too long and still have to pee. It's a one toilet bathroom, so anytime there's a line, it doesn't go very quick. Unless you did what I did and just got in line for the men's room. I was in and out in half the time. And don't worry I met Big Joe himself outside and when I asked him his opinion on women using the men's room he said "when you gotta go, you gotta go"-true story! Bottom line---you should enjoy a Friday night here as long as you aren't too put off by large crowds or women peeing in the men's room read more

Two words. Turtle Races. Yeah. It's that fricken awesome! I had a great time here tonight with a friend, and loved the bar itself. Had a southside feel that you can't just earn on the northside. $3 for Miller/Bud products, you can't go wrong. Try it out at least once, on a Friday night (get there early, it gets packed!) and I promise you won't be disappointed! read more

Great dive bar. Staff is extremely friendly and the drinks are cheap. There is a pool table, dartboard, and turtle racing. For three minutes I watched an adult man scream variations of "Come on, Yolanda!" into a microphone at an almost-stationary turtle. read more

Now THIS is my kinda bar. Reminds of the dives we used to hang out in college. Totally laid back, great drink specials, nothing fancy. And that's not even the best part. They have turtle racing on Fridays!! Best thing ever. I have to admit, I developed a fondness for "Jolanda", slowest fuckin' turtle in the world! I guess I like to root for an underdog. The whole turtle race spectacle was hilarious and awesome, made better by the great announcer. I laughed. I cheered. It made my night. read more

I would highly recommend not going to Big Joe's for the Turtle Racing! That is, unless you are ok with hanging out in a bar with carpet from wall to wall and packed with dudebros and their girlfriends who are stuck in College mode. I was not impressed one bit. Ok, so you get a raffle ticket with every drink you order. Then there are 5 races and they pick numbers from the bucket and that is how you get a turtle. Then at some point after 10 pm (I think it was more like 11 pm this time) some guy will come around with pizzas that you can buy for $12 not $10 and it isn't even worth the money. All in all, do not go to Big Joe's for Turtle Racing because you will regret the time you wasted going there. read more

This was my first night out in new big city I've moved to and let me tell you, it did not disappoint. The cheap beer, "cheers" (where everyone knows your name) environment, juke box DJ and turtle racing. What's there NOT to love? The turtle racing MC was hilarious and definitely kept the vibe of the bar. I couldn't have asked for a more entertaining night out and am so glad I found BIG JOES! Also- GO JOLANDA! read more

What a great night! Bring cash, as they do not accept credit cards.