So here's the back story. Elvis Costello was like "listen Abbott baby we need to open a freaking…read moreburger place." Abbott was all "yes! And it can sell custard too! It can be two businesses in one!" Elvis Costello was all "that's a f***ing stupid idea, honey." Abbott's heart was broken over this rejection, so she started dating Bill Gray, who was much more receptive to her idea. Abbott dumped Elvis Costello and married Bill Gray, and they opened up a bunch of burger/custard places known as Bill Grays (for burgers) and Abbott's (for custard). They were very successful, and their popularity was matched only by their explosive sex life which involved all kinds of freaky S & M toys imported from Germany and Denmark. Speaking of Denmark, how does a Lion know which house is his? By using a Denmark!
Now you know the full Abbott's story. Isn't it romantic? I have no idea what became of Elvis Costello. I heard he started singing and then went on a world tour, visiting lots of Attractions. Then he got involved with the military apparently, and joined Oliver's Army. So now you know.
Abbott's Custard, meanwhile, doesn't Costellot. It's pretty cheap with generous portions. I think that's her way of remembering her assh*le ex.
What to get: Vanilla Frozen Custard
What else: Abbott's used S & M toys on sale from a stall in the men's bathroom
If the food served was rotting, then it would be Maggots, and nobody would eat here. Thank goodness it's not.
This is my favourite Abbott's location because it's so leafy and spacious in & out, with my favourite custard in the region, and one of my 5 favourites in the world. Outside you have trees and bushes, set far away from the main road but not inside the strip mall. It's an entity unto itself and it's lovely. It's easy to miss, even though it's enormous (that's what she said).
Speaking of enormous, the portion of vanilla custard (baby size) that the guy gave me was so big, it almost filled me up. The cone was so fresh and delicious too. I can't emphasize how much I love this location.
If it were run by racists, it'd be Bigots, but luckily it isn't. I hope.
It's so lovely inside too, cool temp, nicely lit, with lots of different sections and seating. It's so comfortable and feels like home. It's by far the best-designed Abbott's I've been to, even moreso than the lovely spacious one on Main St near Buffalo. Also, custard here is particularly fantastic and service is great.
If it were owned by Joanna Lumley then it would be AbFabbotts, but it isn't, sweetie.
Abbott's is the best. I love frozen custard, but all custards are not created equal. I get so maniacally enthusiastic about this stuff that I usually end up in Police Custardy.
If 50s car racers came here a lot, it'd be Draggotts.
Abbotts/Bill Grays share space like Taco Bell/KFC do in many places. The employees work for both. This location is a total palace, more than enough space for 2 businesses. Or five.
If you could fall asleep in a fence-net tree-swing bed thingy while eating your custard, it'd be Hammocks.
It's one of my "best 5 custards I've ever had." I think I like custard more than ice cream, more than fro yo, less than real gelato. For custard specifically, which is sort of like soft-serve-but-creamier, the best in the country are Leon's in Milwaukee and Nielsen's in Vienna, VA, and then Abbott's in 3rd.
If horses came here for custard, it'd be Paddocks.
There are many BG/Abbott's in Rochester, 2 in Buffalo, all are fantastic, but none moreso than this one. It's my fave.
If people cycled here a lot, it'd be Padlocks.
If you haven't been, come and taste it, it's amazing. I came to this location just yesterday, and re-fell-in-love with Abbott's again. It's as good as I remember it, maybe better. I'm blown away by how good this damn custard tastes.
If they mainly sold fish, it'd be Halibuts.
Anyway, it's fantastic, creamy, sinfully delicious custard that's better than the next-best version (Don's) in the area. Give it a try and see what all the Rochesteritonianisticalishy fuss is Abbott.
If they ripped off the American people, murdered the constitution and a lot of foreigners (indirectly), and ran the country in a way that is the biggest affront to non-existent democracy imaginable, then it'd be Haliburtons. One of these days we need to get around to bringing this whole corrupt exploitative 1%-owned system down, people.
Until then, we'll just come here and slurp custard and then go home and slurp our girlfriends/boyfriends or if we're not that lucky, watch made-up characters on TV all night. (Sob). If we are to be lulled into indifference and semi-comfort and apathy and contentment, then I suppose there is no better way to do it than by serving us custard that is this damn f*cking good. So good that I drive here from Buffalo for it.
If I keep making statements like those last two paragraphs though, the NSA is going to end up taking me into Custardy. As long as it's Abbott Custardy, I don't mind.