I like your original because it has personality. I tightened it up while **keeping your "gun to her…read morehead" line**, your humor, and your storytelling style.
Oh man... I wish I could give **no stars** or maybe even **minus one star**.
I have lived in this city for over 30 years, and I frequently go out for dinner. I love ethnic food and enjoy trying new restaurants. But **THIS**. I repeat, **THIS** was the most shocking and truly unbelievable restaurant experience I have ever had.
My spouse and I like to eat late, so we checked Yelp to see if there were any restaurants in the North Hollywood area open later than 9:00 p.m. We found this one with a 4-star rating. Wow... not bad. I didn't bother reading the 1-star reviews. LOL. My mistake.
The menu sounded great, although a bit pricey, so we decided to give it a try. After what we experienced, I'm honestly amazed this place is still allowed to be open. It really makes me wonder whether the city ever checks on some of these restaurants.
As soon as we parked, we heard incredibly loud music. We assumed there was a private party or some kind of celebration. But when we walked through the patio area and into the restaurant, we discovered the inside was empty. The music blasting from the stage was so loud that my spouse and I couldn't even understand each other.
Then a woman came out from some door--maybe the kitchen, I have no idea. Oh my God... she looked like she had just gotten out of bed. Her demeanor was so unfriendly and unwelcoming that I was honestly in awe. She looked absolutely miserable.
My spouse practically had to yell just to tell her we'd rather sit on the patio, hoping it would be a little quieter. It wasn't.
Two men were sitting at a table across from us with all kinds of equipment, and behind us sat a couple with two children. As I always try to be friendly, I smiled and said, "Hi, how are you?" She looked at me almost in disbelief and forced herself to smile as if someone were holding a gun to her head and making her do it. Then she took our drink order and disappeared.
Meanwhile, one of the children behind us started screaming and yelling. Of course, the parents couldn't have cared less. I honestly don't understand why some parents think that when their kids behave like bloody little brats, screaming and yelling, everyone else in the restaurant is supposed to enjoy it too. No, we do **NOT**. Teach your kids how to behave in public. It worked pretty well when we boomers were growing up! Anyway... back to the restaurant.
Our lovely, oh-so-friendly waitress eventually came back. Still no drinks. Somehow, after the way she treated us, we weren't even surprised anymore. We ordered our food, and off she went again with her incredibly "welcoming" attitude.
Then, all of a sudden, those two men across from us got up and went to the stage. They turned out to be the night's entertainers. The music had already been painfully loud, but once they started singing, it became even louder. The funny part was... who exactly were they performing for? The restaurant inside was empty, and outside there was only one family and us. After a while, I turned to my spouse and said, "I think they're singing to themselves."
After enduring about two songs, my spouse quietly told me that the couple behind us had started smoking. My back was toward them, so I hadn't noticed. That was the final straw. We certainly did **NOT** expect people to be smoking while we were trying to eat in a restaurant.
We looked at each other and said, "Nope. We've had enough." A cranky, unfriendly waitress, two guys singing so loudly I'm sure the entire neighborhood could hear them, screaming children, and now cigarette smoke? No, thank you.
My spouse went inside hoping to find our waitress so we could let her know we were leaving, but she was nowhere to be found. At that point, we simply walked out.
We have never done that before, but this experience was completely unacceptable.
Between the miserable service, the deafening music, the singers performing for practically nobody, and people smoking while others were trying to eat, this was, without question, the worst restaurant experience we've ever had.
Stay away from this excuse for a restaurant.
