after we grew tired of sitting in our hotel room and watching re-runs of Cafe Racer on the Velocity channel we pondered; "Here in LA what is there to do on a Saturday afternoon?"
Okay so technically Marina Del Rey is not really LA, but so what?
Tourists don't know the difference!
Eddie suggested we visit the LA Anime expo.
Stella wanted to watch the X-Games.
Maria and I just wanted coffee.
So we compromised and rode down to Deus eX Machina in Venice to check out some customized cafe bikes and enjoy some Handsome Coffee. The place was empty except for a man sipping espresso whilst sitting on one of the custom bikes and while that struck us silly, that man was in fact eL Capitan himself.
Hey, eL Capitan, we followed you south, as you requested. Where is that Irish go-go dancer, Raquel?" I asked.
"Well, she said that she liked that whole 'Buy the ticket, take the ride' philosophy. Actually, that's a quote from Hunter S Thompson, you know, THE guy that created gonzo journalism and inspired Johnny Depp to become cool! So Raquel bought a ticket. She is riding a bus down to Lima. I will meet her there soon." eL Capitan explained.
"You're going to Peru?" I asked.
"Dios mío, no, me voy a Lima! Todos ustedes deben pedir un poco de café y tomar un asiento en la mesa! Pronto!" eL Capitan shouted at me.
Since I don't speak Spanish, I simply nodded and smiled.
"Have you met Tammy and Daniella, the friendly cafe barristers?" eL Capitan asked. "They serve a mean flat white! Flat white, it's Australian for a no-foam espresso but here they call it eXpresso" he shouted with a wild look in his eyes.
"Do you mean barrista? Isn't a barrister an attorney?" I asked and then watched my as my questions fell upon deaf ears.
eL Capitan, Eddie, Maria and Stella ignored me and sat at the long table. Eddie began paging through an art book. Suddenly, everyone looked at each other and without speaking a word between them, ordered a round of flat whites and a half dozen scone.
"So what exactly is this place?" Stella asked.
"It's the coolest cafe, motorcycle shop, clothing store ever!" eL Capitan answered, "I've been coming here for weeks looking at all the custom bikes and today I am finally going to buy another one" he cheerfully announced as he walked over to the retail section.
We finished our flat whites and followed eL Capitan over to the retail counter where an employee was bragging about a few of the bikes, especially one that belonged to Ryan Reynolds.
That particular retail employee was one of these trendy LA types, the kind who pronounce "Italian" as "eye-tall-ee-an" which is bad enough but the fact that he loves motorcycles made us wonder why he isn't working down the street at Bartells.
He started to brag about this one vintage bike that belongs to that guy that plays guitar in that one rock band but eL Capitan was in a trance, staring at the Orlando Bloom cycle, mostly because he loves that Pirates of the Carribean character, Orlando Bloom but also because he really wanted to BUY that bike.
eL Capitan may have his quirks, but he really was the bass player in one of the most iconic indie bands of the 1990's, and he really can afford whatever he desires.
However, the retail employee had to deal with a telephone inquiry.
So eL Capitan, being eL Capitan, simply smiled and walked outside. I followed and was shocked to see eL Capitan had already purchased a Deus Streethopper the day prior.
"Tengo que ir al encuentro de Raquel en Lima, Perú. Nos vemos en la bolera" eL Capitan said as he started the bike and put on his spiked German military helmet.
Since I don't speak Spanish, I simply stared at him.
"Which bowling alley?" Eddie asked.
I forgot that Eddie speaks six languages, seven, if you include Spanish.
"Nos vemos en el Callejón de Alcatraz Bowling en el distrito de Jesús y de María de Buenos Aires, Argentina" eL Capitan shouted as he rolled towards the parking lot exit.
Thus began the ride eL Capitan announced as "Depp's Revenge" which instantly became a gear jammin', clutch poppin', rear tire smokin', cafe race down Venice Blvd. From the intersection at Lincoln all the way down to the sand, eL Capitan rode away and we never saw him again.
Eddie said he's going south, south to Lima, then to Buenos Aires, then to Tierra Del Fuego.
"Let's follow him" I said.
Maria, Stella and Eddie unanimously said "yes"!
5 stars for the coffee and another 5 stars for the retail side (but there are only 5 available stars so I can't really give a score of 10).
NO, this is not your typical cafe/coffee shop but it is a waaaaay cool place! Looking for a cool, kitchsy Cafe/Moto-shop/Retail shop? Grab some cash and go to Deus eX Machina for the Flat Whites, the pastries, the clothing and the Custom Motorcycles.
Deus eX Machina is a lifestyle brand, promoting a way of life. It is a cool cafe and if you like coffee, custom motorcycles and uber-trendy retail all served up with high altitude service, this is THE place for you! read more