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    Gabby's On the River

    2.9 (9 reviews)
    InexpensiveDive Bars, Sports Bars
    Open 7:00 am - 2:00 AM (Next day)

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    16 years ago

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    10 years ago

    I wasn't happy with Gabby's. There is no pool table and the bartender was too ugly to be so rude. The beer isn't very expensive.

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    14 years ago

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    Duffy's Den

    Duffy's Den

    3.9(15 reviews)
    1.6 mi
    $$

    The Beers are always ice cold and the food is amazing, service is always on point!!!!read more

    I have some pretty wild fantasies, y'all. There's that one I've had since I was a kid, where I wake…read moreup and I'm suddenly the second-best at every instrument in the world (I refuse to take first place because those folks worked hard to get there). Then there's the one I've had since adulthood, where I get to be the guest star in some hot couple's marital bed (don't judge me, I haven't thought this through at all and have no one in mind). Sure, I've got the standard fantasies: hittin' it rich, quitting my day job, beating the pulp out of horrendous biotches who had it coming...you know, the uge. But one of my weirder ones is that I'm the lead singer in an Irish trad group, and I bring the house down by nailing every tongue-twister verse of The Rocky Road to Dublin. That's the type of fantasy that shows up when I'm waiting for my burger at Duffy's, staring at their year-round St. Patrick's Day décor. In that moment, I'm convinced I could pull it off...and I'd be a Plastic Paddy legend. Let's backtrack a sec. Duffy's already knew I was a slag for public recognition, so they blasted my (fake) name on their marquee about a month ago. I don't care if it was AI-generated or lasted a mere 24 hours. I was damp. Here's the problem: as popular as I like to imagine myself, I don't actually have many friends in town. That's what comes with accidentally infiltrating a social scene 300 miles from where I live. I knew if I went to Duffy's solo, I'd be the lonely noon-drinker at the bar. Luckily, the Mother Superior of the Lex herself answered my plea and met me for Saturday lunch (thanks, Jen). And thank God it was Detroit's Duffy's and not Chicago's. If you like having your drink tampered with by the captain of the lacrosse team, head to Chicago Duffy's. It sucks c*cks in hell. Detroit Duffy's, on the other hand, couldn't be more different. This place is everything I love about Detroit: self-effacing, affordable, straightforward, turning out an exemplary product with staff who are all heart and will remember you forever. Why the actual f*ck don't I live here? Jen and I slid into the end of the bar and started a bit of craic with the owners, Lauren and Brad. I didn't give them my full life story, but probably about 50% of it. I was not judged. I love you. Sorry, I say that too soon. Working on it. Anyrate, we ate our burgers, and it was a real "Come to Jesus" moment. A good burger can turn a whole day around. Add cheap beer and sharp conversation, and you've got the blue-ribbon recipe for a great f*cking afternoon. The highlight of my day was spotting a lone DeKuyper's bottle marked Crantasia. I had to say it aloud five times minimum. Can we please have a "Best Use of Crantasia" cocktail contest? Winner gets their own five-star review and a Keno ticket. The staff has reason to believe that this is the last bottle on earth. That feels like destiny to me. Truly, I could have spent the whole day (and night) shooting the shit with this lot, but The Lex was calling Jen home. Plus, it was still broad daylight, and I had driven myself there. I promised to return, rolled my wide Irish ass home, and fell straight into a food coma. So yeah, Duffy's gave me the burger, the beer, the conversation, and the reminder that even if I'm 300 miles from home, I can still stumble into the kind of place that feels like it's been waiting for me all along. That's no small thing. I'll be back soon, probably oversharing again, and definitely ordering another round.

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    Duffy's Den
    Duffy's Den - Menu

    Menu

    Duffy's Den - 1/3rd lb. burger. Tots are $2 extra.

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    1/3rd lb. burger. Tots are $2 extra.

    Red Balloon Saloon - Steak Bits

    Red Balloon Saloon

    3.5(47 reviews)
    4.9 mi
    $

    I usually come here for the drinks because they're always strong, but this time I decided to try…read morethe food and I'm so glad I did! I ordered the catfish, and it was fried exactly the way I like it. It was perfectly seasoned and full of flavor. My friend had the steak bites and said they were cooked perfectly to her liking. The drinks were, of course, just as strong as ever! The bar has plenty of seating with a cozy, dimly lit atmosphere. It got pretty busy while we were there, but our waitress stayed attentive and provided great service the entire time. The music was on point, and there's even a pool table if you're looking to hang out and have some fun. Overall, it's a great neighborhood bar with delicious food, strong drinks, good music, and affordable prices. I'll definitely be back!

    Decent food, but forced gratuity and noise levels were a turnoff…read more We recently moved our office to 12 Mile and Northwestern, and while moving wasn't ideal, the upside is I've got plenty of new food spots to explore. I found Red Balloon Saloon on Google Maps--it looked promising, so I met up with a buddy there after work. First impressions were solid: the place looks good inside, with plenty of TVs and even a pool table. We grabbed seats at the bar and started to settle in--until I saw the sign saying they add a mandatory 20% gratuity to all tabs. That's a big issue for me. If tips are guaranteed, where's the motivation for good service? Unfortunately, that concern proved true. It took a while to get our drinks, and we had to flag the bartender down to order appetizers. I got the cheese sticks and my buddy got the catfish. Both were tasty--no complaints on the food. The biggest downside? It was insanely loud. So loud that my Apple Watch actually alerted me about excessive noise levels. It made it really tough to have a conversation, and we ended up leaving early. Even cashing out took longer than it should have. While it's conveniently close to my new office, I don't see myself coming back. The forced gratuity policy and overwhelming noise make it a one-and-done for me.

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    Red Balloon Saloon
    Red Balloon Saloon - Catfish Dinner

    Catfish Dinner

    Red Balloon Saloon - Pool table

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    Pool table

    Gabby's On the River - divebars - Updated September 2026

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