What Early 1980s Upscale Felt Like…read more
Oxford Suites Paso Robles
Stay: 9/3/26-9/4/26
There is something wonderfully peculiar about Oxford Suites in Paso Robles. Walking through the entrance feels a little like stepping into 1982, back when "upscale" meant exposed brick, substantial furniture, earth tones and dramatic lounge chairs. Throw in Quarterflash, The Motels, Scandal or Wang Chung and the illusion is nearly complete.
Oddly, I mean that as a compliment.
There is plenty of parking. EV owners should note there is no free charging, though a few slower paid chargers are available. Check-in was smooth.
The entrance feels somewhat dated, but in an oddly elegant way rather than a depressing one. The shared lobby areas are charming, with comfortable couches, oversized chairs, exposed brick and cute little seating nooks that make for fun photos.
Upstairs, the time-machine theme continues. The room doors look like oversized old farm doors, sturdy and paneled, as though a polite barn had been promoted to hospitality management. The hallway carpet is muted plaid in brown, gray, green and orange.
Walking down the corridor feels like strolling across a gigantic Burberry scarf.
It should not work.
Somehow, it does.
The hotel is also very clean, which matters more to me than whether the decorator last had a spiritual awakening during the Reagan administration.
Our room was impressively spacious, with a huge flat-screen TV, comfortable couch, proper work table and plenty of room to spread out.
The bathroom was also roomy. Shower pressure was slightly above average, though I would gladly take a little more force. The toilet seat, meanwhile, was wobbly enough to introduce an unexpected maritime theme. If you strain, brace yourself--you may feel like you're riding stormy seas.
The bed itself was comfortable for reading and relaxing. Sleeping was a little tougher. Noise was absolutely not the issue; the hotel was remarkably quiet. Instead, the room air somehow felt too stuffy, too cool and too dry, sometimes all at once. Quite an atmospheric achievement.
Breakfast is included, and the breakfast room is large, comfortable and never felt crowded. The crowd was pleasantly civilized too--well-behaved children and older adults peacefully eating breakfast rather than staring at everyone who walked in.
The food, however, could use help.
The scrambled eggs had the unmistakable texture of institutional breakfast mush. There were biscuits, sausage gravy, sausages, waffles, rather uncharming skin-on chopped potatoes, juices and coffee. The oatmeal was decent, and apples were available for those maintaining some relationship with nutritional respectability.
The waffle machines are a nice touch.
Coffee comes with to-go cups, but there appeared to be a shortage of lids.
How does a hotel run short of coffee lids?
Are Paso Robles coffee drinkers using ten covers per cup?
I investigated no further.
There is also a quaint gym, and the overall property has a comfortable, slightly eccentric vibe. Oxford Suites is not slick luxury and does not feel like a sterile modern boutique hotel. It feels more like an older idea of upscale hospitality that has been maintained, updated here and there, and allowed to retain personality.
I rather liked that.
Overall, this is a solid four-star stay and absolutely a place I would visit again. What is interesting is how close it comes to five.
Give the shower a little more pressure. Improve the room air circulation. Cook the breakfast eggs and potatoes with a bit more dignity. Tighten the toilet seat. And, for heaven's sake, acquire enough coffee lids.
Make those small adjustments and this could easily become a five-star experience in its category.
One final warning: checkout is 11:00 a.m., and 11:00 means 11:00. Stay until noon and it will cost extra.
So don't slack--
or you're gonna get some flack. a.
