BONJOUR, DARLINGS!…read more
It is I, Mozzarella! International beauty icon, professional pink poodle, part-time diva, full-time princess, and living proof that perfection comes in a very small, VERY PINK package.
I recently returned to Jess Rona Grooming in Larchmont Village for a little pre-vacation maintenance. One cannot possibly embark on an international adventure looking like one has been chasing squirrels.
MON DIEU!
I emerged from the salon looking as though Barbie and Lisa Frank had a baby, dipped her in pink glitter, placed a turquoise bow upon her head, and named her MOZZARELLA.
JE SUIS LE BÉBÉ!
HOT PINK FUR! SPARKLING PINK NAILS! A TURQUOISE HEART BOW perched atop my magnificent coiffure!
DARLING, I AM A LIMITED EDITION.
PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE ME FROM MY ORIGINAL PACKAGING.
First, let's discuss the establishment.
ABSOLUTE POODLE PERFECTION!
Beautiful vintage poodles EVERYWHERE! FINALLY, an art gallery dedicated to a subject worthy of my attention.
Poodles, oodles, and BOODLES of gorgeous vintage poodle artwork!
I felt as though I'd entered the Louvre, except every masterpiece was a poodle. As it should be.
The walls were practically a family reunion. Portraits of my distinguished ancestors everywhere! Such elegance! Such sophistication! Such magnificent hairstyles!
I may have bowed before one of them. One must respect one's pedigree.
Frankly, I'm surprised they haven't commissioned my portrait.
I'll have my agent call.
NOW, MY GLAM SQUAD!
Deni and Brooke are FABULOUS! Lenny handles my luxurious pink shampoo and bubble bath. I prefer to think of it as my ceremonial transformation from household pet to international superstar.
And the lovely Abby at reception ensures that my arrival receives the appropriate level of enthusiasm.
This team understands that I am not merely a dog. I am a BRAND. A cultural phenomenon. A very small celebrity who deserves star treatment. They are genuinely warm, welcoming, and wonderful. Every exit feels like a little celebration... perhaps they should roll out hot pink carpet for me.
AND THEN, DARLINGS, WE SHOP!
One cannot simply emerge from a fabulous beauty appointment and go directly home.
WHAT AM I, A GOLDEN RETRIEVER?
After my appointment, Mama and I promenade through charming Larchmont Village.
First, we stop at Erin McKenna's Bakery, where Mama gets her little gluten-free vegan pastry.
Apparently, SHE needs a treat after MY spa day.
THE AUDACITY!
Then we cross the street to the pet store, where I select MY treats.
Mama calls this our little tradition.
I call it the bare minimum.
Between the gorgeous salon, my fabulous glam squad, and our charming neighborhood shopping ritual, I've decided Larchmont Village is essentially Paris, except nobody has asked me for my passport.
I'm considering establishing a pied-à-terre.
MERCI BEAUCOUP, JESS RONA GROOMING!
Five paws! I'd give six, but anatomically, it's complicated.
BISOUS ET BACI!
Mozzarella
Professional princess. International fluff model. Living Barbie-meets-Lisa-Frank illustration.
Currently accepting modeling contracts, cuddles, marriage proposals from handsome toy poodles of noble pedigree, and compliments.