I've been coming to PLR since I was a little kid. My family and I stayed in the same cabins that stand today (I have kids of my own now, so you can imagine how long they've been there). Part of the charm is that everything is exactly as it was in the early 80's. Everything. Even the carpet. But I don't go to PC for the cabins. No. I go for the lake, the trees, the mountains, and the wonderful way the air smells like pine on a warm summer's day. I have such great memories of this place in the past that it keeps me coming back each year. I look forward to it and so do my family and my friends. But we have to endure the misery to get to the fantasy. Like eating the sweet fruit of a cactus. You have to deal with a few pricks here and there. But it truly is a fantasy land. I thought about how to write this review and decided to write it like a fairy tale, because this place deserves it. When it comes to the location, it CAN'T be beat. But when it comes to the lodge and the people who run it, that's where the fantasy takes a dark turn. And due to those people, we stopped booking PLR.
On with our story...
This is a tale of the dangers that live at Pinecrest Lake. Like a Grimm's fairy tale, this too is a warning to keep little children from being lost in the woods and eaten by ogres.
In every fantasy land, there is an evil with which to contend. This paradise would not be complete without the ogres that live just by the entrance, over there, under a sign marked, "office."
Now, most of the male ogres keep to themselves, going about their day fixing things and won't talk much. They won't bother you if you don't ask them for anything. And by all means you should not ask them for anything.
There are some grumpy male ogres, these are the ones that live by the lake. In order to traverse the waters, you must pay the ogres and they are very strict with the rules. When you pay, they will let you borrow one of their ancient water crafts for a time. These crafts, though old, will usually float. However, they will sometimes fail in the middle of the lake, or won't even make it out of the dock. Regardless, the timer continues running, watched closely by a water ogre, and if you rent one for 2 hours and have the unfortunate luck of losing an hour being towed back to shore, well, that's just too bad. You just lost an hour being towed back to shore. You must NOT ask for a time credit lest the ogre eat your face. You like your face don't you? Then heed my warning! But they, though sweaty and smelly from the sun, are not even the really mean ones. No. Listen to me when I tell you that the really mean ones are the female ogres, in particular, the momma ogre.
No one knows why she is so angry, some say it is because as a teenage ogre she aspired to move to the city to pursue a career in dance and theater but was marooned at PLR by an evil curse. So here she remains, drinking cocktails of snake venom, and spreading misery on any who cross her path. Like the ogres by the lake, she is most concerned with rules, collecting fees, and cares not for outsiders. In fact, the ogres despise all people equally. Even those of us who drop thousands of dollars are treated no better than common rabble. Except one young girl, she was nice.
Interaction with the momma ogre should be kept to an absolute minimum. Don't ask for extra towels. Don't report broken appliances or fixtures. Just live with the gas leak (crack the window and you'll be fine). Shod your feet whilst indoors lest they become as black as octopus ink from the carpets older than you.
Wary traveler, you must resign yourself to the conclusion that during the summer months, you will not sleep. The beds have not been replaced for 28 winters. Also, the ogres have put the bedrooms on the 2nd story, which allows for the natural rising of heat to warm all the sleeping areas to fantastically high temperatures. The ogres have forbidden magical conditioning of air to cool your body, but the amount of perspiration you can expect to endure each night should be enough to help cool your skin, provided there is a breeze, which often there is not. And provided you can open the window.
Not even the beauty of Pinecrest could overcome the misery of dealing with members of Pinecrest Lake Resort staff. Spend your money elsewhere, or better yet, find a nearby cabin to rent. We haven't been back in 2 summers and we're not coming back this summer either. read more