You might expect me to be upset after suffering such outrages as occurred on the 10th of June against my person and my crew at the hands of Public Storage Tacoma. What's more, these outrages are ongoing. But I'm not upset. I see it as part of a natural balance to life. Without darkness, there can't be light. Without injustice, there can't be right. In this sense, and only this sense, I am thankful that I wandered upon Public Storage Tacoma when I recently moved to this otherwise delightful city. You see, the smoldering ruin that Public Storage Tacoma made of my day in June is a kind of down payment, a gargantuan, heaping down payment against which the world will have to do a lot of balancing. Based on Public Storage Tacoma's crimes I can expect a pretty smooth sail in my life for many years to come as nature repays me for what has to be one of the most savage series of injustices that have ever befallen a hapless wanderer when engaged in a private transaction for the storage of goods.
However, if you believe in karma, and I do, there is an alternative explanation. Perhaps in a former life I was an awful person. Perhaps I did such terrible things that I have earned a ravaging at the hands of Public Storage Tacoma. It would take more than simply being the scourge of some provincial backwater or a murderous highwayman to earn the kind of karmic retribution exacted in the form of Public Storage Tacoma. I would have had to have been an arch-criminal; a soulless marauder. Probably, I pillaged and desecrated on a grand scale and in return karma saved something really special for me: Public Storage Tacoma.
I really hope its the former case and not the latter. I don't remember any other lives. It might as well have been some other person entirely who got to do all the pillaging and desecrating leaving me, in this life, to be pillaged and desecrated by Public Storage Tacoma. Furthermore, if Public Storage Tacoma is the punishment saved for me, presumably the reincarnation of evil, then what possible punishment could be left for the demon stewardess of Public Storage Tacoma who perpetrated the atrocities of that June day?
These are questions for the ages and not ones that should be encountered by someone merely seeking the storage of goods. It is in this spirit that I pass on to you, hapless wanderer or reincarnated arch-criminal, a few words of advice:
The demon stewardess will expect you to meet her schedule, not yours. In fact, she'll insist that you make an appointment because she has a lunch commitment from 10 to 2. She will waste an hour of your time on meaningless paperwork that does not require your presence. She will require your presence. She will charge you for hardware that you do not need, without telling you. She will foul the paperwork and require re-accomplishment of the entire one hour process while you and your crew stand there unable to unload anything. She will then tell you of the overpass which your truck must drive under. She'll tell you that you can make it, but she doesn't remember the exact maximum clearance. By the looks of the overpass she has told many people this same lie. She will impatiently watch you for thirty minutes while you and your crew attempt to maneuver your truck under the overpass until you finally determine that it is impossible and must be given up. She will then tell you that she doesn't have time for this and only then mention the alternate entrance that is right next to your storage space with no clearance restriction.
And then, with your day a smoldering ruin, with the demon stewardess briefly sated and turning to her next victim, you will realize that you have some serious questions for the ages. read more