As I sat on the cold hard bench, I contemplated my life and what got me here. Yes, I do live life…read moreon the edge sometimes:
o I sometimes don't put a napkin on my lap (I'm a rebel like that)
o I don't wipe down the weight machine at the gym before I use it (sometimes my closest friends are germs)
o I watched Sex & The City II (send me to death row for this)
o I don't read each & every review of ALL my Yelp Friends (I mean to though, I promise! Time is a terrorist.)
But yeah, all of these atrocities were in my head as I sat in court....as an accused violator....of......
NOT WEARING A SEATBELT!!!!
I arrived at the court in Grandview 10 minutes early, and went straight to the court room. I sat with all the other Accused on the benches. Benches which reminded me of pews of a church (that alone got me feeling queasy!).
Why do courts all look the same? I couldn't help thinking of this scene Strange Brew Visual while sitting there: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SorQB4tzqf0
9:00 AM P.S.T.: The court reporter sets up a TV/DVD and plays us a movie. We watched a short video which described the options us criminals (accused!) had.
I sat there in my preppy/nerdy attire, trying not to sweat too much ("beware the man who sweats!"). I wondered who I was surrounded by---murderers, wall street tycoons, crooked politicians.......
....they turn out to almost all be seatbelt violators as well!!!
Some won their contests, some lost, and others asked for a lighter sentence. Me, I wanted to plead my case à la Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird), but I probably ended up being more of a Vincent (My Cousin Vinny).
At any rate, my case was cut and dry---why else would I waste half of my day for a $125 ticket. I really was ready to prove that I truly did have my seat belt on that dark night in October.
The judge asked me to 'splain myself, and then that was it. The Trooper didn't show.
"You're free to go," said the judge.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::: THE SCRIPTED ENDING ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
[ Cut to Entrance of Courthouse on Sunny Friday morn ]
The door opens. Corey G. appears. His eyes are closed and he looks upward with the sun in his face.
--- Crowd of hundreds, cheer with abandon and wave their "FREE COREY G" signs madly. ---
Corey walks a few steps, falls to the ground and kisses it.
--- Roll Credits ---
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Well, walking out wasn't quite like that.