"The Night I Broke Keto... And I Regret Nothing "…read more
So my wife and I were sitting there trying to figure out where in the world we wanted to eat. Honestly, at that moment I could've gone for just about anything. We had managed to escape the kids for a little bit, and with our 15th anniversary tomorrow, we figured we deserved a little break from reality.
Long story short...
Then long again...
BEHOLD... BONCHON.
We walked in and immediately got that subtle, low-key "you just found a hidden gem" kind of vibe. Nothing overly flashy, just a nice, chill atmosphere that makes you feel like you discovered something the rest of the neighborhood hasn't figured out yet.
We got seated and the service started off great. Everyone was nice, attentive, waters came out quickly, and then...
THE REAL CHALLENGE BEGAN.
What the heck are we gonna eat?!
Everything on that menu looked and sounded .
Now, for those who know me, I've been doing keto. I've been trying to stay disciplined and make better choices.
But tonight?
Not tonight.
Tonight I was a FREE MAN.
My wife ordered her food, looked over at me with that concerned wife look like, "Are you sure about this?"
Ma'am...
I had already made peace with my decisions.
I added the wings and then ordered that big ol' Bap-something bowl with bulgogi -- and if I butchered the name, just know it was DELICIOUS.
Then the food started arriving.
And I gotta give them credit -- it wasn't a long wait at all.
My wife's food came out first.
Then...
THE WINGS.
And then came the main event.
This bowl came out SIZZLING like it had been sitting over an open flame.
TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
I think that's the correct spelling for the sound.
The young man serving it said:
"Be careful, it's extremely hot."
Brother...
I dove into that bowl like I had signed a waiver saying Bonchon was no longer responsible for what happened next.
And let me tell you...
IT WAS FIRE.
Beef, spinach (I think ), carrots, mushrooms, eggs...
...and then...
RIIIIIIICE.
Oh, rice...
HOW I MISSED YOU.
It had been so long.
I was scooping rice, grabbing a bite of beef, hitting a wing, back to the bowl, back to a wing...
At this point I wasn't eating.
I WAS MR. MCGRUBBIN.
I absolutely demolished that bowl.
But before I went completely crazy on the rest of those wings, I thought...
"Wait a minute... where's the spice?"
So I called over my guy and asked for some hot sauce.
He hits me with:
"Sriracha or our house spice?"
I said, "How spicy is the house sauce?"
This man gave me the face...
Immediately I said:
"Bring it."
I dipped my pinky in that sauce like I was a detective conducting a highly classified investigation.
One taste.
PURE.
I poured that sauce over the rest of my food and immediately learned an important lesson:
DO NOT INHALE WHILE EATING THAT SAUCE.
That pepper will reach down into your throat and remind you that actions have consequences.
I gave my guy the like:
"You've done well, young Samurai."
I told him the sauce was fire and jokingly said:
"Man, this is like water."
Meanwhile, my mouth was fighting for its life.
But did I let them see me struggle?
Absolutely not.
I maintained my composure like a warrior.
I couldn't finish all the wings, so of course I took the hot sauce to-go because apparently I had decided that tomorrow's battle was already scheduled.
Overall, Bonchon was a great little anniversary-eve discovery. Good food, friendly service, attentive staff, reasonable wait, and flavors that definitely woke me up.
And yes...
I broke keto.
But listen...
It's our 15th anniversary.
Sometimes you gotta put the chicken breast down, pick the rice back up, and just LIVE A LITTLE.
Bonchon -- you got me tonight.
And that house sauce?
I'll be back for you.
5 stars from me!