This rap song is brought to you by "Lemonem", a Corona-based rapper who loves the ice here more than he loves his own mother. Actually he can't stand his mother but that's beside the point.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJO5HU_7_1w
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Lemon Ice King please stand up?
Y'all act like you never seen a Lemon Ice King before
Jaws all on the floor like Kevin James just broke the frame of the door
And started over-eating even worse than before
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
He didn't just say they have the flavour I think he said, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing, you idiots!
Dr. Dre's got his mouth full of Lemon Ice in my basement!
Yeah, I probably got a couple cups of Lemon Ice melting in my back seat
But no worse than the Watermelon Ice in your parents' bedroom
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just eat Lemon Ice but can't
But it's cool for Peyton Manning to hump the Papa John's guy
"My Pizza is on your lips, my Pizza is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give the driver a little tip
And that's the pizza that we deliver to little kids
And expect them to grow up knowing what real food is
Of course they gonna know what Lemon Ice is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They saw the credits for "King Of Queens" didn't they?
But if we can eat dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason a man and another man can't put Lemon Ice down their throats
But if you feel like I feel, I got the Italian vote
Women wave your pantyhose, hit me up and down I go!
'Cause I'm Yelp's Fox E, yes I'm the real Fox E
All you other Lemon Ice stands don't taste this good to me
So won't the real Lemon Ice King please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
A few words while we wait for "Lemonem" to begin his verbal diatribe again. We're talking about some of the best Lemon Ice you'll ever taste in your life. There's a reason this place is famous and wildly popular. It's not only dirt cheap, it's refreshing and amazing. The traditional Lemon Ice is my fave flavor, but everything I've tasted here is magnificent.
If you like spending nights with Lemurs, then you'll prefer the "Lemur Nights King Of Corona", and if you have some awfully lame Reeboks, then I assure you, I have some "Lamer Nikes King Of Corona."
There's a good reason why this was saved to be one of my "final 10 reviews of NYC" and that's because it's one of my fave places to get dessert in the whole country. It's second only to Mario's in Chicago as the best Lemon Ice I've ever had.
Oh, funny story. The first time I showed up here, I asked for Lemon Ice and they looked at me like I was crazy. They were all dressed up like the Amish and a buggy with horses was outside the store. I then realized I was in the wrong place. I'd gone to the "Mennonites King Of Corona" instead.
Service is nice sometimes, but it depends who you get. Don't expect to be treated like a Queen (even if you're a Queen, or a fan of Queen, or Brian May himself). Also they often close at random times, depending on how busy it is, so my advice is to get here wayyyy before closing, and to call them ahead of time to find out when closing is.
Now without further ado, it's back to "Lemonem."
Will Smith don't gotta eat Lemon Ice to write reviews;
Well I do, so f*ck him and f*ck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Ham Sammy?
Half of food critics can't even stomach my reviews, let alone stand me
"But Fox E, what if you get bubble gum flavor, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just give them their worst review in years?
So you can laugh about it while you listen to Britney Spears?
Yo, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who gets to eat Lemon Ice first
Little Yelpers, put me on blast on Yelp Talk NYC
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Starlight, hee-hee!"
I should show the whole world how you gave Fox E "FUC"s
And there's a million Yelpers just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a f**k like me
Who write like me; taste, chew and eat like me
It just might be the next best thing but not Fox E!
'Cause I'm Yelp's Fox E, yes I'm the real Fox E
All you other Lemon Ice stands don't taste this good to me
So won't the real Lemon Ice King please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up? read more