There is sometimes a moment when you are in disbelief that a meal could be so bad; this is that moment. The natural beauty of the surroundings and the restaurant itself were unable to save this meal - yes, the food is that bad. Our party of 8 was promptly greeted and waited only a short while for a table. Our waiter took a bit of time to get to us, but he was respectful and polite. I had a drink called the Paloma (I think that is what it was called), and it was one of the okay-est drinks I've had. My husband and our companions had beer, of which the restaurant has a limited selection. We ordered the guacamole sampler and queso to start with, along with the salsa and chips that are brought to all tables. While the presentation of the chips and salsa is adorable, the salsa itself is just tomatoes and water. There is ZERO flavor to this salsa, and if you like eating diced tomatoes out of a can you'll love it. The queso is listed in the small plates section, and they are not kidding. The portion that came out was smaller than an iPad mini, and was bland with chunks of what was supposed to be chorizo in it (we questioned the authenticity of that statement). For the guacamole you are able to select 3 of the 4 kinds they have, and we chose the Bacon, Mango, and Citrus Crab. The guacamole itself was incredibly bland and had no flavor. It tasted like just mashed up avocado, and for $15 for a portion the size of a cup I kind of expected something a bit more. The Bacon was...interesting. There were large pieces of bacon cut up in the mashed avocado. That was really all that was bacon about it. There was some queso fresco sprinkled on top that was just a hot mess and added nothing to the dish. There was no trace of the "roasted corn salsa" listed on the menu. The Mango had diced mango mixed in, and I like mango, so that one was not inedible. There was no hint of any kind of chili, much less a "pickled fresno chili," but it didn't turn my stomach so it was a plus. The Citrus Crab was a disaster. They basically took the bland guacamole as the base, dumped canned crab meat on top, squeezed some some sort of lemon/lime combo over it and called it good. We called it gross. After sampling it we found the crab meat to taste bad...we live on the Gulf Coast in Southeast Texas and are accustomed to fresh seafood. This was definitely not that.
After the opening round of disappointment we received our main courses. The kids had burgers, the kids' nachos, and the beef and chorizo nachos. The burger's description sounds amazing on the menu, and honestly they were the best thing anyone had. The fries were also prepared well and not overly seasoned. The nachos, however, were not prepared well. They were just a pile of (mostly) broken chips and the above-mentioned poorly-executed queso poured over the top. The beef and chorizo nachos had some chunks of the meat mixed in. While we generally enjoy cotija cheese, this tasted like it was a prepackaged dish from the freezer section of the local grocery store. My friend and I had the combo plate, and our husbands had the braised beef enchiladas. The first thing we noticed was that ALL of our food was cold. The refried pinto beans that come with it were dried out and flaky on the plates, and the rice was hard enough to be crunchy when we took bites. The Mexico City Street Corn is anything but; it was boiled, not roasted, and the mayo/seasonings are slathered across the top. This was probably the most edible thing on our plates, though. The braised beef enchiladas were dry and poorly seasoned. There was no flavor to the meat, and the chipotle tomato sauce tasted like diced tomatillos that were out of a can - again, no flavor. The combo plate was a disaster and is now a cautionary tale for all we meet. Besides the dry and flaky beans and tooth-breaking rice, the food was just awful. My friend and I each took a bite of the cod taco and had to move the fish away from us, cover it with a napkin, and pray that we hadn't just gotten food poisoning. It tasted fishy and old, and those two things should never be said about a fish taco. The chicken enchilada was not the worst thing I've ever eaten, but as the dish is currently listed at $24 when you order just the Chicken Enchilada plate, I kind of want more than "not the worst I've ever eaten." The chicken was okay, but tortilla and tomatillo sauce took away from any positive it might have contributed to this terrible meal. The last part of our combo plate was the pork quesadilla with pepper jack cheese. These tasted like they had been made the day before and reheated for this meal. That is probably the nicest thing I can say about that.
I heartily caution people to avoid this place, and will never go back again. I will also tell every person I know to avoid it. This food has no right to call itself Mexican food, much less edible food, and it certainly was not worth $130 before tip for 4 people. read more