This place is a sleepy and relaxing sort of place. It's serve your self relaxed environment encourages patrons to sit and thoroughly enjoy the delicious burgers and sandwiches provided. read more

Bill's Café is an anomaly. It's this little poorly decorated hole in the wall burger joint by Kingwood. The indoor area looks like a relatively crappy bar while the outside looks like someone without much money or sense put it together. But damn, does it work. First, I'm surprised how long I've been in the area and never made it here, but I'm glad I finally did. Much like Fight Club, Bill's has rules. 'Rules' include not asking about chicken fried steak, because they ain't got it. Don't ask about getting a baked potato either. What's good, everything. lol My suggestion is that you go there for burgers and beer. Bill's has the best burger in that part of town, hands down. It actually competes against some of the burger elites in Houston, but Bill's has a true "I really don't give a crap" vibe that isn't forced like other places. They have essentially 5 things on the menu. You can get a burger, a chicken sandwich, a BBQ sandwich a 30 oz T-bone and a 60 ounce sirloin. There are 5 different cheeses to choose from along with goodies like bacon, mushrooms and jalapenos. Get the damn burger. Unless you're my wife, then do whatever the hell you want and don't touch my burger. When you order your burger, or whatever, make sure you don't just get fires or onion rings, tell them to split it up to fries, sweet potato fries and onion rings. You can also throw in and/or sub fired okra and maybe even fried pickles. The batter coated sweet potato fires are kind of required. Now, to prove Bill's doesn't really give a crap, they have one of those big long sliding top cooler setups filled with beer and limes with koozies sitting on top. You go get your own beers and then just tell the waitress how many you had of which. Bill's goes by the honor system and doesn't really give a crap, because they know you'll be so intrigued by the honor system that you aren't going to be a lying beer stealing coward. The waitresses are laid back, but they also won't take any gruf from anyone and probably could care less if you leave because you're in too much of a dang hurry. Bill's is a casual, ah screw making the movie and grab another beer kind of place. Don't go there if you are in a rush, because you'll kill the mellow. Now, at some point, you're going to go there and order a steak, just because the curiosity is going to get the best of you. It got me, and the next thing I know I had a significant portion of cow sitting on my table. I went 30 oz T-bone for $23. I did the f/sf/o combo and I also had my salad. You know the crappy white part of iceberg lettuce? Yeah, it's that with some sliced carrots thrown on top. Pass. The steak isn't what you'd call a prime cut. It has a bit of an attitude. Although the flavor is actually pretty decent, you know it's jealous of the burgers. If your goal is to make sure your lower intestine is impacted with beef the next morning, mission successful and relatively tasty. The thing is, unless you want to OD on protein, you're going to get a better steak for the same cost down the road at Saltgrass. Bill's is a top notch burger and beer joint that just wants to dare you to have the steak just like it'd trick you into putting your tongue on a frozen pole. It's all in good fun, but not really necessary. BTW, I am going to split that 60 oz sirloin with someone at some point. Maybe I can develop some good old fashioned gout by doing so. Bill's isn't where you go looking for entertainment. You go to Bill's with a group of friends for great burgers and a couple of hours of talk while making the rounds to the beer cooler. If you're wife has ever had a good time hanging out with your friends burning pallets, take her to Bill's; otherwise, she might not get it and will burn your time to mellow. read more

Rediculously amazing burgers! They were not over cooked or over seasoned because they didn't need to be hidden in the seasonings. The meat was obviously hand pressed. Everyone in our large family enjoyed the food! Onion rings were perfectly cooked. Sweet potato fries and regular fries were also good but not as perfect as the onion rings. Fun history and simple eating. Yes, I will return. Yes, I will recommend it to anyone who wants a great meal. read more

Bill's Cafe - The second have a burger because it was too good to put down the first half to take a picture! - Burgers Near Me - Humble, Texas

Great, great, great burgers!!! Very quirky place. Here's something to note though, and this is why I didn't rate Bill's 5 stars: their menu. Ok, I get it. If it's not on the menu, they don't have it. So I ordered a double cheese burger (not on the menu). When I got the Bill (pun intended) they charged me for TWO cheeseburgers!!! Kinda funny, but kind of expensive. Woulda been nice had the waitress told me, "we're gonna charge you for two burgers." I would have just got the single. My advice: just stick to the menu. Bill's ain't fancy, but it's good. I'll be back. read more

Bill's Cafe - Bill's Top Ten Answers - Burgers Near Me - Humble, Texas

One of the best burgers you'll have in Kingwood! Wings are good too. Great environment for families on a nice breezy day. I'd pass on the open air seating in the summer months. Go with patience because the food takes a little longer do to the small kitchen, but it's worth it! Enjoy! read more

Bill's Cafe - Best Kingwood Burger! - Burgers Near Me - Humble, Texas

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A burger tradition in Kingwood as anyone from there will tell you. Sitting on the patio is only tolerable when the weather is nice. But if you like classic, simple burgers, Bill's will treat you right. Service is a bit flippant, but that adds to the charm. I did like that you could order appetizers by the piece, I loved the fried mac and cheese - I've had a few versions of it and their's is a simple as it gets but that's a good thing. So go if you must, but don't set yourself up for a burger orgasm here, cause that's not what you're getting. read more

I had a great experience at Bill's Cafe this weekend. I came with a large group for a late lunch after a long workout that morning. I was staaaaarvvvvvvvinggggg and I'm glad we were recommended to head here. This place seems to be a little hole in the wall place with a great feeling to it. There is a nice sized parking lot out front, and seat yourself inside at a table or at the bar, or outside at one of the covered picnic tables or at one of the beach-like huts. If you sit outside, the drinks are a serve yourself kind of situation. There are some coolers full of beer, hard lemonade, and smirnoff ices that you can just grab, along with a soda fountain and pitchers of iced tea.The menus are at the table in the condiment holders, and are just small beat up pieces of paper. The food choices are very self-explanatory. Everyone I went with ordered a burger or a grilled chicken sandwich. I had a burger, and it was great! It wasn't anything fancy or crazy - it tasted like something you would just grill up for yourself. Classic. The fries were extremely impressive. The seasoning on them was GREAT. YUMMMMM. My friends had the sweet potato fries, too, but I don't think they were as good. Bill's Cafe gives you huge portions for a great price! I was dying of hunger and couldn't finish everything! If you're not a huge eater, maybe split the fries with a friend and you'll be just fine. Service was pretty slow. There might have been 1 waitress serving the whole place when I went, but the whole vibe of the place was "chill out, dude" so it didn't really bother anyone too much. It seemed like a very family friendly place. There were a ton of kids playing around outside. If I'm ever back in the area, I'd for sure stop in for another relaxing afternoon here. read more

Skip the rest. Bill's Cafe is the place to go! After a rather disappointing culinary week in Kingwood, I was pointed to Bill's...and for that I say thank you. The pictures posted by others say it all. Big, juicy burgers, steaks the size of a plate (if you are so inclined), all served up by friendly staff in a casual and comfortable atmosphere and at reasonable prices. According to their website, Bill's has been in Kingwood since 1945, which definitely pre-dates all the strip malls and chain food that have grown up around it since. My only wish is that I'd found it earlier in my trip...because I'd have gone back for more. read more

More than anything, I think Bill's is a place to chill for 2 or 3 hours outside over a couple of beers and with some good friends. If you come here wanting it now, you will be disappointed. If it's busy, plan on waiting an hour or so for your order. Sometimes it will come sooner and you will be pleasantly surprised. Hungry? Get their Porterhouse and you won't be. Good burgers and fries but I prefer the onion rings. The people are just awesome. To me they're just more great people to hang out with while I'm here. read more

Bill's Cafe is They've been around for as long as I can remember but I had just never eaten there so I decided to take my girlfriend with me to go get some burgers and see if it lived up to all the hype on yelp/google. The service was good and the aesthetic was great but most importantly, the food was OUTSTANDING. The burgers were perfect. They had just the right amount of juicy and also not too soft or soggy. They tasted amazing. And it was very reasonably priced. I recommend this restaurant to anyone who is looking for a good burger and a classic American restaurant. Very respectfully, James Hedrick read more

I've been going here for years. Bill's is a great place that has evolved a little from a tiny, almost scungy dive to a smallish not so dive-ish place. In the early days, it was beer, steak, or burger. After our crowd kept going by and a couple of the non-beer drinkers couldn't imbibe, they started carrying a few wine coolers. That's what I call service. I like this place. I like the funky vibe; I like the people who work there; I like the people who go there. The menu has expanded now and has more of the fun bar food items that you expect from an ice-house style joint. I can't believe a previous reviewer compared Bill's burgers to those prissy Beck's burgers. Nah, these are road side burger joint burgers. No fancy crap on 'em. Just good beef on a bun. This is a true Texas original from the grand tradition of local beer joints and burger bars. This is the kind of place I remember going to as a kid, where the men drank beer and ate burgers while the kids played out back. It is not pretentious and cannot be described as hip or trendy, thank God for that. Be aware that they are not open till 4pm most days and are not open Monday or Sunday. Most of their seating is outside, so summer months can be challenging. read more

Mmm mmm. Pull out your elastic-waisted pants when heading out to Bill's Cafe. It's pretty durn good and you'll want to eat every morsel on your plate. Nothing pretentious about the place, and all you get is a delicious, greasy burger. We went after hearing about the legendary Bill's Cafe. A sucker for a good burger, I hauled the very hungry hubby and kid to see what all the hype was about. Yeah, it took a while for a waitress to come to our table, but after reading previous reviews, I kind of was expecting that. So we came prepared, with plenty of distractions for our 1-year-old. We actually ended up not needing much to distract him, though, because Bill's has a great fenced-in outdoor area where kids could run around. The food actually didn't take long to come out, even though I braced myself for a long wait. Turns out, they've been operating out of the same kitchen since forever ago. Whatever they're doing, they're doing it right, 'cuz these burgers were big and juicy with all the right fixins'. Oh, and bonus -- our picky toddler ate almost all of his grilled cheese, which tells you it's gotta be good. The kids menu has the normal kiddie fare -- mini burger, chicken tenders, grilled cheese. If you want your kid to have some veggies, bring your own. The onion rings were nice and thick and the fries were good too. Beer-wise, you've got the usual mainstream suspects (Coors, Bud, etc) but they also have Dos Equis, which is good enough for me. Make sure you don't eat at least three hours before going. You will walk out of there with your pants unbuttoned. read more

When it comes to burgers, this place is definitely 5 star. I think I've tried about every burger in town and this place hands down is number one one my list. The next best thing about this place is the appetizers. Not so much the taste (they are good) but the fact that you can order them individually. If you want 1 chicken wing, 1 cheese stick, 1 fried mushroom, and 1 jalapeno popper.... they'll bring it to you no questions asked (though my wife still looks at me funny when I order them this way) The steak for two is about as big as the big 99'er in the Great Outdoors. Awesome owners, friendly staff, great atmosphere (perfect for kids... fenced in area outside to play in). read more

Bill's is a great little ole burger place! It's in an old house on Loop 494 and is small inside but cozy. There is seating outside, but with the weather these days we took to the inside. Counterheight bar and cow print stools, we sat here. Looking over there menu, its pretty straightforward and quite funny too. For our appetizers we had some cheese sticks and fried pickles. My daughter loved the cheese sticks and I loved the thick pickles! Very tasty and they give you this dipping sauce that is hard to describe but has a sweet taste to it. For our main entree, BURGERS!! One was boring...swiss and dry! She thought it was comparable to 5Guys. I had one all the way with grilled onions. I must say everything tasted fresh and very good! Prices aren't too bad for the two of us with drinks it was just over $20. Great little place that we hope to make another trip to again! read more

Lunch good. Big burgers. Average taste. Killer french fries with cheese and chili. Get your own drink. If you forget you sit there and look stupid. Fun for Kingwood but getting tired of the schtick of "dive bar. I gave it four stars because of the chili-cheese fries. all of the rules crap old stuff and menu looked like it had food from 4 years ago on it. Bathroom smelled like an open grave. read more

Bill's Cafe - Chili cheese fries - Burgers Near Me - Humble, Texas

I have not been back there for 20 years. So when a family get together came up someone said let's go to Bill's. I write this for the food my wife & I had and no one elses. Two hamburgers with a order of JALAPENO fries. The meat patty was as dried out comparable to a piece of meat left on a rock in the sun for a week. Devoid of any flavor two bites " ack" set it aside. The fries were limp undercooked with some greasy JALAPENO slices layered on top . I have had far better. The appetizer consisted of small cheese cubes , deep fried in old oil with no flavor. Crackers were placed on table which tasted like they came from someone's mildew closet. The men's room received a F minus on cleanliness. From all appearances I don't think it was cleaned in the last week. Only bright spot was our waitress, she was friendly and brought items out quickly. Some items should have remained in the kitchen till the cook figured out.... how to cook. read more

Wow!! Here in town from L.A. We had the sirloin steak for two. Definitely one of the best steaks I've had. read more

I've been here several times and am just now getting around to posting a review. The burgers are fantastic! I used to live near Seabrook and frequented Tookie's pretty often. Tookie's will always have my heart but Bill's Cafe is a good substitute. I usually get the burger and chili cheese fries so I can't vouch for anything else. The burger alone is worth a visit though! read more

I'm puzzled by the reviews for this place. I think nostalgia for good family times and support for local businesses drives the higher ratings. I tried their steak twice to see if the terrible steak was just one bad experience. Nope. Tasted like it was pan fried in grease. The taste reminded me of how my friend's grandmother cooked round steak 30 years ago. I'd rather dine at one of the chain restaurants to get a better piece of meat. For what it's worth, my two attempts were not recent. I should probably go back and try something else read more

A total hole in the wall if there was one. Casual and filling. All outdoor seating and a little self service. Orders take a bit of time to arrive but the simple menu is burgers and beer all the way. If you're about that country burger thing then give it a try. This place has been here forever and isn't going any time soon. read more

After searching for a bit & asking others for their favorite burger place around, we landed on Bill's Cafe. The atmosphere was definitely laid back & easy going. There was a soccer match nearby so, the place was packed when we arrived. The waitress was really easy to talk to and funny. She also mentioned it's self serve for the beers here, proving even more of a laid back environment. The appetizers were by piece, also a new idea for me, it gave me the ability to try several new things! The only complaint I have is this: We asked for our burgers medium rare but they brought them out like the picture shows. It took about 15 minutes to bring them out and for them to be that undercooked was a disappointment. Also made the burger get cold pretty quickly. read more

Bill's Cafe - The atmosphere was laid back & easy going. The waitress was funny. Asked for medium rare, but got this instead. - Burgers Near Me - Humble, Texas

Great service and a even better burger. FYI-BYOB :-) read more

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It has been a while since we've been to Bill's Café. We used to go much more when my Dad was still alive, my Dad LOVED Bill's. But Bill's definitely has its own unique "charm" here. It is a very casual place, you will tend to see a lot of the "locals" here. Unless this has changed since we've last been there, you could bring in your own wine. They sell beer, but not wine. Their specialty is steaks and burgers, and they are really good! You will likely sit outside there, so wear your shorts during the spring and summer months! There really isn't another place here quite like Bill's. No pretense, casual and friendly people. They have been here quite a long time, and all of the locals are aware of Bill's! We have never ordered our food to go there, but I am sure they would accommodate to go orders. I think a lot of people show up to watch sporting events on the TV there as well. This probably would be an excellent place for Guy Fieri to do a feature on his Diners, Drive-ins and Dives!! read more

I've been here twice and I'm definitely a fan. I love the relaxed icehouse/burger joint atmosphere, and the fact that it's kid friendly is a bonus. I really enjoy their burgers. They are top notch. read more

This place is a great dive! They have awesome juicy burgers, huge onion rings, sweet potato fries, fried okra and so much more. They even have steaks, although I've never ordered that. They also have outside seating and a play area for the kiddos! Hours are Tuesday - Friday 11 -2 and 4 -10 and Saturday 11am - 10pm read more

Amazing! So much fun. And the food is to die for. Their burgers and hand cut fries are out of this world. It's a sit back and relax kind of place. Don't be in a hurry when you do there. Beers are on the honor system. Kids run around and play. Love this place read more

Burgers, beer and tiki huts, that's all you need! This place is very relaxed and beer is on the honor system. Burgers are just good old fashioned burgers. Don't go expecting a Kobe beef burger on a brioche bun with homemade aioli. You won't be happy and it's not that kind of joint. The staff is friendly and service relatively fast. Just go and have a beer and burger and chill! read more

If you haven't stopped in Bill's Cafe' you are missing out, man! Bill's is the first place that I take my out of town friends and relatives when they come to visit. The Rob Burger is the best and the fries are AWESOME. Can you finish the steak? Nope. Bill's Cafe is a history lesson! Go check it out for yourself! read more

Completely overrated! Burger wasn't anything to brag about at all. Burnt overdone. Bacon was way overcooked and almost inedible. Grilled mushrooms where cold and mush. Service was also bad as only one girl was working inside and we where passed by multiple times without being glanced at. Had to get up and go to the bar to get stuff we asked for earlier. I give it two stars only because my brother enjoyed his steak. read more

Great burger! The patty was cooked well and juicy. It's a big 'ole Texas burger so bring your appetite

This place has THE WORST customer service! This was our first time here and after walking around for 5 minutes trying to figure out how to order food, we finally sat down. We waited for about 10-15 minutes before the manager looked at me, saw that I had the menu wide open, and then he looked right passed me to his friends sitting across from us, called the waitress over and demanded her to take their order! Uuum, hello?!?! We had been sitting there waaaaay longer than his buddies were!!! Considering that everybody in this place is white, the reason we were overlooked could have easily been because my husband is Mexican, and the ONLY one here. You could have heard a pin drop when we walked in and the piercing stares weren't very welcoming either. This place is a joke. read more

Best burgers around! Great patio seating and play area! Also the steaks on the weekends are very good! Don't miss this little hole in the wall! read more

I wish I could tell you about the burgers we ate. Unfortunately, we never got the opportunity to order. We went Thursday December 5th at 4:30. We walked in. We were the only customers inside. We waited. And waited. My husband goes outside as he saw customers go to the outside eating area. He asked if we have to order outside or can we do it inside. They said we can order inside or outside. He comes back in. Through the swinging door, some guy is walking in the back, looks at us, and keeps on walking. Twice he did this. We look at the menu and decide what we are going to get. We wait some more. Nobody comes up front. My husband asks me what I want to do. " Let's go to What a Burger." Hot juicy patty melt. They deliver every time, and so friendly. read more

Pros: good sub. Food ok. Cons: expensive, decor dated. Ceiling fans spinning out of control. Film on windows ripped. read more

Bill's Cafe is legendary for anyone in the KWood area. Good old fashioned burgers that even a vegan would love. Bill's is basically an icehouse that serves good burgers and good beer, but one word of warning for the impatient. This is not fast food. Be prepared to wait for your food, they don't get in a hurry around here. All the more reason to sit outside and have a few ice cold beers while you wait for the food. read more

Some of the best hamburgers around.... onion rings, fried mushrooms,pickles,stuffed jalapenos.... mmmmmmm.... I always have to remember the hours they are open (they close between lunch and dinner), and sometimes its hard to get a seat inside, but other than that the place is great!!!!! read more

Read and heard about this place, I had my office clothes on so wasn't sure If i wanted to be a part of the crowd there for lunch. So decided on Ordering my Cheeseburger with French Fries to go ... Call them placed an order they said 20 mins picked it up... Enjoyed the Burger it was delicious... I understand what everyone is talking about ... I wouldn't say it was the Best I ever had... Just didn't like the fact that the bun was so big.. I'm used to getting smaller buns on my burger so I feel like i'm getting more meat... Oh well different techniques for everyone... Regardless I loved the home made french fries ... Would go there again not during a work day... I think that would make it better.. read more

Of the three main burger places in Humble/Kingwood/Porter, this one is my favorite by far. Seat yourself and grab a burger off the small-ish menu. I like that the appetizers are priced per piece so you can easily share or have each person in your group just order what they like. The toppings are generous, as are the orders of fries. The burgers are a good size - plenty filling but not a monster that's difficult to eat. The staff is friendly and the hats on the wall and lowkey vibe make this a great place to grab a relaxed dinner any night of the week. read more

Great place to sit back and enjoy the evening with a cold beer and great burger! & Fried Pickles.....

We saw the waitress eating French fries off of a customers plate BEFORE serving. Grossed us out so much we left before being served.