I certainly feel like that if you're looking for a place with the ambiance of a post-apocalyptic…read moreflea market meets budget horror film, congrats--you've found it.
Let's start with the aesthetic: the hallways are sometimes graced with abandoned garbage, strollers, and the occasional mystery couch left in parking spots like it's a modern art installation titled "We Gave Up." Need ambiance? Try walking past a giant cockroach in the hallway while dodging a bag of what could be a trash bag of used diapers and asking yourself, "Am I in a luxury condo or an escape room?"
Now, despite appearances, there are no real security guards. There are people dressed like them, sure--but it's more of a cosplay situation. They neither guard nor secure. Our bikes were stolen, the locks cut from the bike rack, which makes the word "locked" feel more like a suggestion than a promise. Let us not forget there aren't security cameras so we can't necessarily pin the culprit.
Water issues? Oh, honey. Welcome to Geyser Springs. If you live on the bottom floor, you will eventually return home to a DIY sewage fountain because someone up top Roto-Rootered the main line without telling anyone. Surprise! Hope your area rugs weren't sentimental.
The elevators will literally hit you, the doors close in on you with a force and they are consistently out of order.
Soundproofing is... non-existent. I've gotten to know the intimate dinner table conversations of people.
And if you're wondering whether the rules apply to everyone equally--of course not! Certain residents apparently have HOA immunity and leave junk in the halls like they're setting up a sidewalk sale.
Let's not forget the hate symbols that were etched in the sauna walls that took a really long time to remove. Because nothing says community wellness like casual hate symbols and sluggish response times.
But wait! We haven't gotten to the wildlife sanctuary cosplay. We're not living in Yosemite, but the HOA sure thinks we are just because we have a man made pond. Dangerous coyotes roam freely here like they're paying rent, and according to one board member you're mentally ill if you yell at a coyote to go away (it won't go away unless you've got a group btw) just because you're "not bleeding"--heard a kid here was chased and so was a professional dog walker also heard one woman was almost bit and a few other women were stalked but hazing didn't work that's more than 2 dangerous encounters but apparently only two dangerous encounters occurred but hey, at least the coyote's feelings are not bruised.
These coyotes are habituated, unafraid of humans, and come out in broad daylight between 10AM-5PM (yes, banker's hours). And yet, the HOA insists on only bringing in wildlife "experts" to discuss how we should adapt to them. No vets, no behavioralists, no safety consultants, no psychologists to address the actual trauma of being stalked outside your front door--chased or almost bitten just more dog-whistling (pun fully intended) about how we're supposed to coexist peacefully with predators.
We're told to walk with tools that can be used like a weapon and in groups. It's a walk on the sidewalk at your own risk type vibe here. Sounds less like a gated community and more like a dystopian summer camp. To live here, I feel like you must have the fast moving skills of a karate champion, have multiple arms like an octopus and pretend you're cowboy without a gun. I feel like it's giving she was graped because her skirt was too short vibes. Feels like the people in charge apparently think they have nothing to lose since they don't have small kids or small dogs here and don't need a cane to walk down the sidewalk.
And the misinformation is Olympic-level: some claim wild life remover experts use snare traps when those are illegal in California, that removing one coyote causes more to spawn like it's a horror movie which pest control experts told me was not true and that our property is wildfire-immune because of sycamore trees. I wish I were kidding. But let us be clear, more will come because they have 5 to 7 pups a litter not because we spent $525 to trap a dangerous one. I would also like to give special shout out to the goose and coyote poop that decorates our sidewalks and cooks in the light of the day . Mmm also the occasional animal parts like a duck head or the random squirrel body parts. This is a city.
I feel like it is not just unsafe physically--it also feels emotionally draining. The leadership style here seems to me to be less "community-minded" and more oligarchic fever dream. For me it feels like residents who speak up are shushed, facts are replaced with folklore, and the priority seems to be protecting coyote feelings over human and pet safety.
Bottom line: for me this feels like it used to be a safe place. The feelings I have about this place is that if you're a roach, a bag of trash, a couch, or a wild animal, you're not really welcome.
