For those that don't know, O.Noir is that unique place where you dine entirely in the dark. Yes, it is completely pitch-black, and no, your eyes will not eventually adjust. You can't see a dam thing down there in O.Noir's dark and dingy basement dining room.
Seriously though, O.Noir is easily one of the worst dining experiences I've ever had in Toronto, not just because the food and service were awful, but also because I left the place feeling ripped off. O.Noir took a concept that could have been interesting and did absolutely nothing with it. It was nothing more than eating crappy food in a dark basement room with the lights off.
First off, the food at O.Noir is horrible. It's just glorified, hotel banquet food. You know the stuff: salad with balsamic vinaigrette, pre-cooked steam-table-held vegetables, chicken with coriander sauce. It was all of those boring old courses served at weddings and buffets in the 80s and 90s; there's nothing imaginative going on in the kitchen here. The food had absolutely no bearing on eating in an environment void of light. You'd think that if they were going to block your sense of sight, they'd want to serve food that would heighten your other senses, like food with strong aromas or flavours. Nope. Just unthoughtful, crappy food. In a way, the food was so bad that I'm glad my other senses weren't heightened by the lack of light.
I ordered the 'surprise' menu. I mean really, why wouldn't I? I'd like to at least try to see if I could use my 'enhanced' senses to not only guess but also to better appreciate whatever it was I was eating... For me, the 'surprise' was that I still don't know what the hell I ate. No one ever told me. I sort of assumed that once we were finished eating, the server would have at least told those of us that ordered the surprise what it was we ate so that we could confirm our suspicions, but nope, he just took our plates away without any explanation at all.
Speaking of our server, he was one of the worst in the biz. Not only did he not bring us anything to drink until we were finished our first course and constantly get our orders mixed up, but he was inattentive and bored; I don't blame him though, it'd be hard not to be bored down there in the dark dining pit of O.Noir. He often left us wondering where he was, not because we were in the dark, but because he often left the room or crept up behind us.
The seating arrangements leave you feeling bored and isolated too, especially if you're part of a group. In a dark environment, you'd be better off sitting at a round table so that everyone can be part of the conversation. Our seating arrangements at a long, rectangular table left those on the end of the table feeling isolated and alone.
Sitting near the entrance to the dining room sucks too. Believe it or not, the servers actually signal that they're entering the room by banging on the door. We must have heard it 40 or 50 times. In a room that is supposed to heighten your senses, this seems absolutely ridiculous. Surely there must be a better way to enter the room and make sure that no light enters. If there is, O.Noir didn't figure it out, or they didn't care. They just decided to stick with the loud banging.
Although we couldn't see anything, a quick feel confirmed that we were using those cheapo hotel-style metal chairs and wooden tables. I mean, I know we can't see anything anyways, but if our senses were supposed to be heightened, then surely our sense of touch should be a part of that. You could argue that because you're eating in the dark, the restaurant doesn't need to spend as much on the space, but I'd argue that because you're eating in the dark, the restaurant needs to spend more on the space and everything in the environment needs to be taken into consideration.
On the way out, the bartender asked us if we were staying in the attached hotel, and right then, it all made sense to me; this place was taking up the old banquet facilities of the hotel. It explains the strange layout the dining room has and the trend of hotel food and furniture. It confirmed one thing for me: if you're going to have a restaurant where your guests eat in the dark, then the space definitely needs to be built specifically for that purpose. There's little doubt that because they didn't, O.Noir sees little repeat business. People come for the novelty, but likely leave disappointed.
O.Noir offers nothing more than eating crappy banquet food in a dark basement with the lights off; absolutely nothing more than that. The pitch-black did nothing to make the experience better or heighten my senses in anyway. I was just eating crappy banquet food in the dark... read more