THE BRUNCH FROM HELL
Potential diners, proceed with caution…read more
While visiting Montreal, I took two local friends to Beauty's Restaurant for brunch on Saturday, May 30, expecting a classic diner experience at this long-standing establishment that I have frequented for the last 10 years. Unfortunately, it turned into a complete disaster. The server was pleasant enough in the beginning when I ordered a bottle of Prosecco. She then asked my friends what they would like to drink. One ordered a cappuccino with oat milk, to which she sarcastically responded, "We're a diner; we don't do that here." He relented and ordered a cappuccino with regular milk instead. My second friend ordered a black coffee. You could tell she was not happy with us as she walked away. Several minutes later, a busser returned to the table carrying a bucket containing two unopened bottles of Prosecco. I told him, "Sorry, sir. Thank you, but I only ordered one." The confused busser walked away. Our server returned shortly thereafter and asked, "What's the problem?" I politely explained that I had only ordered one bottle, not two. She immediately became defensive, insisting that one of my friends had also ordered a bottle of Prosecco. Once again, I politely corrected her, explaining that one friend had ordered a coffee and the other a cappuccino with regular milk. She responded by pulling out her notepad and franticly flipped through her chicken-scratch writing, vigorously searching for evidence that would prove us wrong and set the record straight. She was unable to produce it. Her face turned red. Without saying a word, she abruptly grabbed one of the unopened bottles and walked away. At that precise moment, I knew we were in for the Brunch From Hell. Seven minutes passed before she returned with the coffee. The mood was tense and the atmosphere heavy. Another 25 minutes passed before the food finally arrived: a mixed green salad, a breakfast sandwich, and a smoked salmon bagel. My salmon bagel looked edible. My friend's breakfast sandwich, however, I wouldn't have fed to my dog food. These dishes were all priced between $16 and $22 before tax. Despite this, we put our heads down and ate the mediocre food. While consuming my $18 smoked salmon bagel--burnt around the edges, served on stale bread, and lacking capers or even a solitary lemon wedge--I thought to myself: if our server does the bare minimum and asks how the food is, I'll give her a 10% tip. She strategically returned about 15 minutes later, after we had finished eating. At that moment, my decision was made. I would not be tipping her. I told my friends to ask for separate bills while I stepped away to use the restroom. When I returned to the table, I was bewildered to find the server berating my friend over the amount he intended to tip. She demanded to know why he was only leaving 10%. I responded, "You really don't know why his tip is so low?" She became increasingly agitated and asked whether it was the food or the service. "Both," I replied. Her face now bright red, she snapped, "You ate all the food, so it couldn't have been the food!" I responded, "And this is how you speak to customers? You bully them into tipping more?" She fires back, "Your entitlement is outrageous. I only make $12 an hour." I repeated myself. "And this is how you speak to people? How's this working out for you? Not very well, I'm assuming." At this point, steam may as well have been coming out of her ears. She then argued, "Your friend ordered a mimosa!" To which I replied, "Mimosa is not a word that was spoken at this table." Outraged, she picked up the payment terminal and threw it down on the table in front of me. Looking at the screen, I took my time, carefully ensuring I did not tip a penny over my bill of $43.69. Growing impatient, she muttered, "Here, let me help you." Grabbing the machine aggressively, she forcefully selected the zero-tip option for me. I replied, "Thank you. That's the most helpful you've been the entire time." Taking the machine, she stormed away. The nightmare was finally over. We were free.