I have a whole new respect for those who can bake a successful loaf of bread, based on my last 18 months of experimentation with owning a bread maker.
Everyone said it would be so easy, even for someone like me, who had to call my mom to ask what a "zester" is.
I don't cook, and I don't bake. But I am no quitter.
So I bought this machine, and proceeded to spend the next few months creating loaf after loaf of objects that could have been used as concrete barriers.
I recently went to Roche Brothers to procure some yeast for more experimentation, and couldn't find it in the aisle where yeast is usually found. When I asked an associate for help, she told me that it was in the refrigerated section, where it is supposed to be.
I literally blurted out, "What the FUCK? I have NEVER found yeast anywhere aside from the flour aisle. It's supposed to be refrigerated??"
"Of course, yeast goes bad when it's not refrigerated," she replied.
"Then why does every grocery store aside from this one keep it in the flour aisle?" I asked.
She didn't know, but after I bought the refrigerated yeast I actually managed to bake a loaf that was edible. So now I'm convinced this whole thing is a conspiracy backed by yeast companies to keep us all buying more yeast.
Basically, I've learned that baking bread is a precarious process that deserves WAY more credit than what I had previously given it. I now know the precision required to bake a loaf that won't chip a tooth, and also tastes good.
Last week, I decided to stop by The Bread Guys to order a loaf for myself, after hearing rave reviews. My timeline was tight; they close at 5pm, it was 4:15, and I was about 30 minutes away. I called to make sure they do in fact close at 5pm, and not earlier when they aren't busy.
The guy who answered the phone promised me they'd be open, but also added that they were almost out of everything. He suggested that I tell them what I wanted and he'd put it aside for me. I ordered a loaf of Jalapeno cheddar, and was on my way.
He wasn't joking. By the time I arrived, the cases were almost bare. I grabbed my bread, and was coerced into purchasing one of their sourdough cinnamon rolls as well. It didn't take much convincing. The woman behind the counter asked me if I preferred frosting on the roll. What kind of degenerate opts for a roll without frosting??
The standards have officially been raised. I don't think I'll ever be able to eat normal bread from a supermarket again. Their breads are absolutely incredible. I'm not someone who will eat a slice of bread on its own; it needs to be either in the form of a sandwich, or covered in some sort of delicious topping. Honey butter. Fig and pepper jam. Avocado. SOMETHING.
But not this. This was the kind of bread you could pull right out and snack on, with layers of flavor from the cheese and peppers. The crust was perfectly crunchy, the interior was dense and stretchy, and I can't even type anymore because thinking about it is giving me a carb orgasm.
Cinnamon rolls are normally not my cup of tea. I'm much more of a chocolate/caramel/nutty sort of dessert person. I'm not anti-cinnamon roll, but it's generally my very last choice...unless it's from a place known for them.
This roll...omg. It tasted like sitting by a fire pit at the height of fall, with the scent of leaves and crisp air on a cool night. It was a whole experience. One thing that I normally don't love about the frosting on cinnamon rolls is that flat sugary taste-it's just a blast of sugar, with nothing else behind it. The topping on this roll was sweet, but it wasn't diabetes-sweet. It had depth, creaminess, and another layer of flavor that balanced it out.
Getting to this place from my house is a PITA, with all the roadwork they've got going on around the Mass Pike. And for that I am grateful. Because if it was closer, I'm sure I'd end up having to widen my doors to get in and out of my house.
If there's a way to get there from Worcester without taking the highway...
Please don't tell me. read more