They had me at lobster. They lost me at lobster. I am not one to write reviews, but I must share the terrible experience that we had at this restaurant.
When we heard Saturday night was lobster night, we were excited to cancel our reservations at a fabulous restaurant in town and instead stay at the resort ... because, lobster.
We arrive at 7:20 for lobster night that was advertised as 7:30-10:30. No need to review the menu, my two friends and I promptly tell waiter #1 (these numbers will become important later) that we'll have the lobster special. A few moments later waiter #2 arrives to tell us they only have 2 lobsters left. I laughed because surely he's kidding and that haven't run out of lobster 3 minutes into lobster night. He did not laugh. I should have known then this meal would not be a good one.
I'm disappointed, but my two friends will get lobster and I'll take a bite if there's, so fine, I'll order salmon. A few moments later, waiter #2 returns to say they "found" 5 more lobsters. I should have known then that this meal would not be a good one.
Our Caesar salad arrives and it's fine. I mean not great, but I'm there for lobster, not salad. A little while later, waiter #3 arrives with our soup. A brothy chicken with pieces of carrots and celery. Again, it was fine. The celery and carrots were raw in the soup, but again ... not there for the soup, so I take a few spoonfuls of broth and then push away to await the main attraction.
Time passes. Much time passes. My friend becomes distracted by the woman behind us, who is clearly unhappy with her lobster. I should have known, but I assume this woman must be "one of those" type of dinners. Because waiters 1, 2, & 3 are so nice and ... it's lobster. How can they go wrong. I should have known.
More time passes and I'm beginning to wonder if the reason we haven't seen waiter #1 is because he's been sent to literally pull a lobster from the ocean.
Time passes. The woman behind us has clearly made her case and they've taken her lobster and promised her a new one (one of the 5 they "found" I suppose).
More time passes. By now, we're 2 hours into this adventure our hopes for a fabulous lobster dinner are beginning the slip, but we remain optimistic.
At last, waiters numbers 1,2 & 3 emerge from the kitchen with our lobster. They place our meals down and my mouth is watering ... a vegetable medley, creamy risotto, a handful of shrimp ... and Lobster.
But wait, is that seasoning or ... is this lobster burnt? I pick up my fork and attempt my first attack. It's a no go. As I reach for my fork, waiter #3 arrives with a steak knife which he thinks I'll need. I should have known. I begin to cut, then saw and I literally cannot get this lobster out of its tail.
As I managed to pry loose 1 piece of lobster, I feel a newfound kinship with the woman behind me. It's bad. Really bad. I look up to find disappointment on my friends faces. But also, there's hope for one friend's lobster ... hers looks different than ours and we assume hers was among the "found" crustaceans. She's a positive type, always trying to see the good, so she tries to tell us hers is ok, but I can see it's not true. She offers us a bite and we all agree, nope, while it's not burnt, her is overcooked and rubbery too.
We all put our forks down and wait for any one of the 3 waiters to return. Time passes. I take a few bites of rice, while my other friend tries the shrimp. Time passes. finally waiter #3 returns to ask how our meal is. We explain and he goes to get someone else. Waiter #2 returns and we tell him the same thing. He too leaves. Time passes. Waiter #1 comes to the table (clearly not having spoke to the other 2) and we tell him the same story.
Time passes. Waiter #2 returns and asks us how the lobster is on the inside. Tough. Rubbery. Over cooked. Not good. He seems puzzled and at a loss for what to do. He offers us some wine. Bottles of wine (yes bottles with an s). We don't want wine, and now 2.5 hours in, we don't even want lobster. We want to be finished with this meal. And since you probably want to be done with this review, I'll jump to the chase.
Much back and forth between waiters 1,2 & 3 as well as their manager and they've agreed (reluctantly) to cancel two lobster dinners, but insist we must pay for that of the third (the friend who shared a bite with us each before also giving up). We push, they offer us wine and dessert but we're done. Just bring us the bill and then we'll take it up with the resort.
Which we did, immediately. And now picture the scenario with waiters 1, 2 & 3, but insert front desk staff. Same story. So now we await management's decision in the morning.
I should add that the waiters were perfectly nice. They just aren't empowered to offer any real customer service in situations like this, which should have been a no brainer for them.
Needless to say, we won't be eating at El Patron again.
ETA: two days later and still no resolution. read more