As I drive into work sometimes I listen to the radio. On this day I was listening to the radio and I heard the hosts engage in dialogue over a viral video that centered around a young lady who got ghosted before a first date. In the video she laments having made homemade Orchata, tacos and Mexican corn bread (which I am sure had Jalapenos) for a guy that did not show up, nor did he let her know that he was not coming. Was she love bombing or being extra? Was she being intentional and kind? I cannot answer these two questions but thanks to a recent visit to Hilltop Park I can say that effort from a girl to a guy is a love note in free flow.
The first time I went to the park, I walked for steps and clipped pictures and witnessed rest. The second time I went I took a beach towel and a pal, and we sat on grass under a tall tree's shade to look at the view while we minded our own self-care. And then it happened, a young lady came in with a purple Trader Joe's bag. We will call the girl Brianna and her gentlemen friend Tyler.
Brianna began to unpack her bag. She had a cloth. Tyler helped her straighten it. They used the bag and different items from within, to hold the corners, to pin the blanket so the winds would not mess its near perfect shape and sprawl. And then he walked away to wash his hands. Brianna was left alone. She unpacked her contents. She had a small table with legs. She had a huge pillow. I commented to my pal that next time we could at least bring some food or snacks. I am not sure I would bring all that stuff to make a picnic into a dining experience for the park but I would buy a basket pre-made. But Brianna brought everything to make the setting a message of care. She even brought some string lights to adorn an edge of the blanket.
I commented to her that she made me feel jealous because of the effort of her spread. I told her that when she was ready I could take pictures of her and her date.
When Taylor returned, her first comment to him was, "you came early." Her vision was not yet complete, and, in a way, he stepped into the surprise party before all the streamers were not hung up nor all balloons filled with the air of her lungs. He helpe set up the picnic. As she unpacked the watermelon from a container she said, "it is sweet, I tasted it as I cut." She took out those chocolates wrapped in gold foil. They are hard to spell and say, but they are so common that you know which I mean. She then informed Tyler that she brought chips for the hummus as I saw her unwrap pita bread from foil. It was clear, she had curated a selection of snacks to make a moment in the park into a picnic that was really a quiet way of saying this spread is a love note. I am too young to send you a note during Math class and I am not old enough to give you a diamond Rolex, but this picnic, here right now, is the most I can do, and I do it with glee, for you !
Tyler looked at me, as I watched the scene and said he is probably thinking this is extra. No I did not think anything like that. She said that I had agreed to take their pictures. That was my cue to play the part in this unfolding scene. I stood up and said, "if you want me to name my feelings I can. I feel a sense of joy and also sadness, but I am not sure why." Was I experiencing the feelings that lead people to cry at rom-coms where at the end the leads find true love?
As I approached I spoke out loud. This is clear way of showing someone that you love them, all this effort is an effort of appreciation. She said as she used to quickly demonstrate, "Of course I love him, he is my boyfriend." All the feels swept me both away and into the moment. Taylor gave me a camera. Do not know the name but it is those where you can take a picture and then a photo comes up. It is the modern one. Not the one from days of old. Taylor started to give me directions. "I honestly think you would be good" if you stepped closer." If I took the picture from too close, I would not capture the whole motif- the table, the pineapple, the tumblers with wine. But Taylor was telling me to get close. So I did. Then he told me, move the camera up a little, a little more up. The movements up were small. Seriously. I felt micro-directed to the degree that is less than a centimeter. But I remained present. I had to. I was happy too but also frustrated but I was not the one in the moment, I was just there to document. And they were into the moment. Tyler was in control. I asked Brianna for input, she said that she "trusted us". She really trusted Tyler with the process. As I took the second picture, yes, I took a second, after the first, and after a camera roll refill, I saw Tyler eyes. They were fully into the moment, staring hard into the camera.
As I gave them back the camera, they did not offer me food. Tyler did tell me, "you have great character, has every anyone told you that you have great character." I share this story to illuminate what Hilltop Park can hold. read more