Pokeworks, you've done it this time.
Let's start from the top, how does this place look? In an attempt to satisfy that millennial feeling of looking like a popup, Pokeworks decided to go for the aesthetic of a broken down warehouse! Everything is grey and drab, the tables and chairs are extremely uncomfortable, the whole place was cold, and to top it all of you have these uncomfortably bright lights all over making you feel like you're working at an industrial waste processing plant. Then the way the restaurant is set up is extremely uncomfortable. You have these long communal eating tables, but it's not done in a nice way like Le Pain Quotidian, it feels more like you're eating in the cafeteria of a crappy train station. Furthermore what is the point of having communal tables at a Poke place? In LPQ people are there to work, collaborate, and drink coffee; in this setting it makes sense to have a communal table as people will be spending large amounts of time at the table and may exchange ideas or keep each other motivated. When I go to eat Poke I'm not looking to make a new work buddy, I'm looking to eat Poke and leave. To top it all off, this place is dirty as hell! The tables had food gunk stuck to it, the drink station was nasty and sticky, and the floor looked like it hadn't been mopped in a year.
Next, let's go to the service. I go to the counter, "Hi, how can I help you?" It's about 7PM and I'm feeling a little down because of the cold weather so I decide let's get something a little spicy. "Yeah, can I get the Sichuan Spicy bowl?" The gentleman nods and asks me what kind of rice I want, I say white, then what kind of protein, then what kind of toppings, wait I thought I got a pre-made bowl... I'm confused... Oh, it turns out in the 5 seconds that I said "Can I get a Sichuan Spicy Bowl" and the guy grabbing a bowl he totally forgot what I wanted and just didn't really think it was important to ask. Fine, whatever, I don't care about your pre-made bowl, this looks fine, plus I'm super hungry. Just put the Sichuan mix on top and we're good. While the cashier is busy with two other customers I decide to browse the drinks. Most of the stuff looks pretty expensive, but I spot a small can of seltzer water and grab it. I get to the counter and without telling what exactly I'm paying for here the guy behind the counter tells me I owe him 18 bucks for a bowl of rice with tuna and a can of seltzer. I don't want to make a big fuss, as there is a rather large line forming behind me, but I'm still confused as to how my ~13 dollar bowl turned into 18. I swipe my card, finish paying, and the guy walks off like I never existed in the first place. I sit down and look at my receipt, okay the bowl was 14ish plus tax, and the seltzer was 3 DOLLARS PLUS TAX!? I would have REALLY liked it if at some point someone said "oh by the way that can of seltzer water that you can buy at the bodega next door for a dollar is 3 plus tax here", or a sign to at least be in the freezer telling me that! Don't get me wrong, I worked service and retail jobs all throughout college and high school, I know they're not fun, but I seriously couldn't believe the lack of attention or care from the employees here.
Okay, but who the hell cares about what it looks like? Also, who gives a damn if the employees are inattentive or just totally incapable of empathy as long as the food's good! To this day the best biriyani I've ever had was in a dirty basement under a bus station on a mountain in India served by a toothless 80 year old man who yelled at me for eating too many pickled peppers! So, I grab a fork and sit down to try this dish out. Now, I should mention here that I actually lived in China for 3 years, so I know Sichuan food pretty well! Was the Sichuan seasoning accurate? Yes! It actually was! There was a nice mix of Sichuan peppercorns giving that nice numbing flavor, a nice mix of dried peppers, some chili oil, and I think some ginger to really bring out that Sichuan flavor. So what's the problem Bilal? Well, the problem is the people behind the counter clearly have never actually tasted this Sichuan sauce in a bowl before. I say this because the guy who made my bowl put about 20x as much sauce as any person in their right mind would put in my bowl. I hadn't even realized exactly HOW MUCH sauce was in the bowl until I sat down to eat. Let's get something straight people, I'm a literal masochist when it comes to spice. Once while having Chongqing hot pot in Shanghai, a style of hot pot in which they cook 27 different kinds of pepper in beef lard overnight, I drank a cup of the pepper lard broth for a drunken dare, and LOVED IT! This bowl though? JESUS CHRIST! The spice overwhelmed every single item in the bowl to the point where I couldn't even taste the fish anymore. Was this worth 18 dollars? NO. I would have been better off going to the Japanese place next door and snorting wasabi off of some chopsticks. read more