Went there and damn what a ridiculous place, the bartender was all drunk and didn't want to make drinks for us, couldn't really figure out we were paying customers, felt bad for the bar back! Definitely would not recommend this place read more

Absolutely horrible. Asked the bartender which bourbons they had and he gave me the ugliest look even though I couldn't see the bottles because of their placement. The same bartender was making someone's drink and some of the liquor was thrown onto me because of the sloppy way they were making the drink. Also, the same bartender seemingly was trying to make my friend feel dumb because he was unsure if he had to pay for a club soda he asked for. Would not recommend this place at all read more

Don't waste your night here. Management openly uses slurs. Your bartender will most likely be drunk and make you terrible drinks. Tipped $0 for the awful experience and the bartender actually chased me out of the bar as I was leaving and began to yell and argue with me about it. Completely unprofessional. Later found out that they tipped themselves $20 extra to a sub-$20 tab!! What the fuck gives you the right to somebody else's money like that? Holy shit! Maybe find another job if you're getting tipped $0 and blaming the customer... The DJ was on point with karaoke, though; good job man. read more

I try a Bloody Mary everywhere I go and this place is in my top 5!!! A cool vibe and I'd call it a "slightly classy dive bar"

My boyfriend and I went here Saturday Night to just have a couple drinks. The vibe was nice, they were doing karaoke and it was a hit. We had one shot of 1800 each, I had two pineapple tequilas, and my boyfriend had two coronas. When we went to close our tab, the bartender (brown hair, mid-length) charged us for four coronas, which is ok, mistakes happen and we corrected her. She gave us cash back for the overcharge, we tipped in cash and left. However, this isn't the reason for the low review. The reason for the low review is because our tab (with the overcharge was $31) and today I checked my bank statement to see the total changed to $40. Not only did I leave a tip in cash, $5, which is perfectly fine for a $20 tab (which was our real tab) but I penciled in $0 on the tip amount of the receipt because I tipped in cash. I overlooked the bartender being tipsy behind the bar because I get it, I've been a bartender before, I overlooked the overcharge, because accidents happen, but to add a tip and a $9 tip at that, for yourself after I already tipped is rude. We were nothing but nice to the bartenders and to be taken advantage of is super annoying. Come here for the vibe, but take pictures of your receipt and your tip so the bartender doesn't steal from you. Also, the blonde bartender/barback, was super nice! I liked the vibe, but I'm not coming back since I can't trust the bartender not to tip herself. read more

Went to Crazy Ape for a quick morning Bloody Mary when trying to cure a hangover. Our bartender was friendly in that sort of "I take no shit" kind of way. Lol, best way I know how to describe it. The drinks were fantastic. I ordered mine extra spicy and it was perfect. Literally took away my headache. When we got there there was only one other person in the bar but quickly, over the course of our one drink, there were suddenly 5 other people. Also, keep in mind that this was probably around 10:30am..... they open at 7am. Look, don't judge me, it was my first day off in 2 months and I was not driving. Thanks Lyft! Anyway, people were friendly, some of the regulars greeted us and the bartender was attentive, plus the drinks were fantastic. I loved the feel of the place and the vibe of the bar. Apparently it's owned by the same person that owns one of my other favorite bars. You can't go wrong here. We will definitely be back. read more

Was out with six friends and the crazy ape was nearby and I've always wanted to check this place out. Unfortunately there is no access for some one in a wheelchair to get in. Heys guys. It's 2021 you've been open since 2008. Make your place ADA complient Was messaged that the back door is accessible for wheelchairs read more

The outside may look a little shady and you might think you're going to get jumped in the parking lot but once you open the door...its hard to resist the draw of some GREAT Karaoke and I do mean GREAT. I've been to some places where you want to rip the mic from the poor, drunk saps hand and hook them off stage, sending them back to their booth in shame...but at The Crazy Ape you literally jump from your seat screaming encore!! Everyone is good. And the bartender is the best one of all! Several times a night she belts out tunes from old punk rock to the latest hits, better than the original artists! And she does it all atop the bar, all the while singing and dancing in a show that would put Britney or Christina to shame. And oh yeah its also a bar...the drinks are cheap, the pours are heavy and the booths are comfy. The restrooms are clean and full of bad ass murals - professionally done with a few amateur additions. There's also pool, darts and a few other games to occupy your time if the Karaoke and floor show doesn't blow your mind. Overall its a great place to hang with friends, blow off some steam after work and clink together a few glasses. Salud! read more

The Crazy Ape - Crazy Ape - Dive Bars Near Me - San Antonio, Texas

It's a good place to go and have a few drinks, if you're a complete loner. Most of the bar maids will completely ignore you. Except to quickly ask you, "You good?" If they see your glass getting low. They don't introduce themselves, ask your name, etc. I can understand if it's the weekend, and really busy. But this is like, when it's just you and two other people in the place. I've been to other bars that were more lively, but this one doesn't have a very welcoming atmosphere. Even the other patrons. Unless you strike up a conversation, keep to themselves. I went outside to the smoking area. This guy was hanging out with his girlfriend. He looked over at me with this goofy look on his face, like I just interrupted something. So, if you're the anti-social type, and are looking for a watering hole, this is the place for you. read more

Just a bad establishment. Patrons are overserved alcohol, no one ever checks IDs, it's the recipe for a terrible time.

So we ended up bar hopping a bit this night and this was our last stop. Honestly we should've gone sooner. We popped in a little after 12. They were having karaoke. We had two of our group members sign up, but only one made it on the list. The DJ seems to prefer her regulars to new people, as I saw some people sing 2-3 times when only one of our group members even made it up there, and that was after the bar was officially closed and last call had been called about 10 minutes ago. I'm not sure if this DJ is the one that DJ's every karaoke but if so they really should rethink their karaoke rules. Yeah, you have your drunk regulars, but you gotta cater to new people who may fall in love with this place and want to come back, but decide not to cause they can't even get on the list to sing. Outside of that, I really loved the decor, tables, and set up of the bar. I got drinks as soon as I got up there. The bathroom was nice, but there's only one toilet so I feel that there might be a line for the bathroom on busy nights. They had darts and a pool table in the backroom area. They did have a patio too I think, but it was cold so we didn't check it out. The owner (I think it was the owner, a guy named Chris behind the bar), was super nice when we asked about leaving a car here as one of our members had drunk a little too much. He even offered to call us a ride but we had it covered. Pretty nice bar, some of the reviews are a b it older so don't let that stop you. It's pretty chill, lots of places to sit, and it had a decent sized dance floor. read more

I was bored at home and wanted to grab a beer. I really didn't feel like going to a big place so I looked for something close by and took a chance on The Crazy Ape... it was awesome!! I love dive bars and The Ape has a lot of character. The bartender was polite and welcoming and there was a really good mix of people chatting and enjoying each other's company. If I ever get the chance I'd definitely grab a beer with some friends or watch a game by myself. read more

Stopped in after I've been in town for a few days for work and i should've gone sooner - good karaoke on Sunday, good priced drinks, the long islands could use a little less sour mix - But other than that, friendly crowd, good service, good time - read more

The bartenders take forever to serve drinks and are extremely rude. A large group of us came in a few months back (we were basically the only business the bar had that night), and we tipped generously. One of the bartenders insists to this day we didn't, and has since threatened to pick a fight with one of us recently. Absolutely unprofessional. read more

Bartender was very nice . I liked the the atmosphere . I enjoyed my drinks . Great tunes in the afternoon. Loved the ape pictures . Popcorn was a bonus . Should have played darts but I always lose lol read more

I like this place. I've been here for 15 minutes and have witnessed much win. Contrary to some other reviews, this place has class, for a dive bar, and seems accepting of all comers. To the gentleman commenting about [not accepting Mexicans], your review is a bit dated so maybe things have changed. It is thick with Mexican descendants here; predominantly so. The bartender just struck up a conversation with a jolly Hispanic couple sitting a chair away from me. She asked how long they have been married (15 years BTW) and then said "Woo! Congratulations!". I find the bartender very friendly and considerate. Speaking of the bartender. She just cut someone off. Well, she cut him off a while ago and then he got a friend to get him another beer on the sly. As soon as she noticed he was holding a drink, she ripped the bottle from his hands of drunkenness and with reasonable aggression, explained he was cutoff. I salute you blonde bartender who I will tip respectably. The karaoke DJ is pretty entertaining as well. He has some good banter with the singers and they all seems to be having a great time. As we round 1AM, I feel I will return to the The Crazy Ape at least a few more times. Maybe next time I'll be brave enough to sing... read more

Awful - sleazy dive bar with bad drinks and scary people. If you wanna get stabbed... the DJ they had the night I went was good however.

This place has been around for a few years and it is still a cool little dive. If you come during the week it will probably be a little slow but that just means your bartender is Johnny-on-the-spot with your drinks. They have been trying out an amateur comedy show on Saturdays, That was pretty fun but the comedians can be hit or miss. Overall, worth stopping in if you are in the neighborhood. read more

Terrible terrible place. If your mexican dont come here. Im in the US Navy visiting town and went with my brother to see a spurs game and for some reason they thought were gangsters. The service was terrible and had to demand a drink due to frustration, but that made things worse. Will never eeeeeever come here again. read more

I was a finalist in one of the karaoke competitions last summer. This is the best karaoke bar I've found in San Antonio. One night the karaoke deejay dressed up as The Green Lantern. That pleased me. But I'm weird. read more

Why is beer,bud lite,so expensive in San Antonio,TX? Nobody has it on tap. I'm visiting here and from Chicagoland area and beer there is about half what it is here. I rate the karaoke bars expensive! read more

Drinks are overpriced and their bar selection is vague. The bar looks as if you are going to get jumped inside and out and you just might. Yes it is a whole in the wall, but the place is always open. So if you need to chill out and have a drink this place seems to never be closed. read more