When good God Almighty created Homegirl, she was almost perfect in every way. However, the pure beauty bestowed onto yo girl was unmatched. The world would surely bully a queen like Homegirl, so hot and spicy. So one alteration was made. Then, one day in the second grade, this young porcelain princess began wearing glasses full time.
Homegirl is....what one would call...perturbed. Her aura has been laden with fog. It clouds homegirls thought and ironically, her vision....you see Homegirl has not been to an eye doctor in some time. Homegirl had one single contact lense left in her bathroom closet but she got two sparkling hazels! She called around frantically for the soonest opening, which happened to be here. (Now we know why they was so available when everyone else was booked out on the lookout!) Mhmmm. Homegirl can't help but be swayed by first impressions. And upon walking in, Homegirl sniffed the unmistakable smell of shrimp jambalaya. She turns left-shrimp. She turns right-shrimp. She takes a seat-shrimpy shrimp! It was like a haunted house for homegirls nose. It was not lunch time, it was not snack time, it was not dinner time, yet the stank was real. Homegirl searched for a civilian on break. A misplaced fork on the reception desk, a take out container, a dirty napkin-anything to reveal food ,would have relieved Homegirl. But nay, the scent is embedded in the carpets and woven into the walls. This was an old smell left brewing in the fibers of any absorbable material.
All this before her exam! Homegirl needs you to stay with her for a minute. Her vision was at stake. Without this appointment Homegirl would be the the blind beggar in the book of Mark waitin for Jesus, to touch her eyes. She had to continue with an exam. Now Homegirl sat in the exam chair, doctor seemed friendly. She needed contacts so he asked for homegirls prescription. Homegirl is very busy this Holiday season and doesn't have the strength to recall these numbers. If she don't make time for her Tae Bo tapes, that Christmas fudge will refuse to budge! Now this optometrist was a bit frustrated that homegirls memory could not provide him the information he wished for. Homegirl quickly replied "Cant you just figure it out?" He then asked if there was any way she could find out her OLD prescription first....Homegirl phoned home but her man was making the cashh for homegirls stasshh. No answer. He asked if I had records on my phone or any ideas...at this point Homegirl is annoyed. When she goes to the eye doctor she expects him to be knowledgeable enough to correctly formulate her prescription without the need of an old contact box. Plainer than a bagel, it seemed like it should have been simple. Homegirl would not recommend this establishment, and how she was made to feel because she couldn't do the doctors job. The two stars are for the receptionists, who was kind and helpful and one for Optometrist Lisa Smith who Homegirl had at a previous establishment years ago. She can't dock points from Miss Smith when she had no experience with her. Homegirl is both Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul. She gonna tell you how it is but she's also gonna tell you "I love your dress sweetheart".
Homegirl is winded. The emotional pain of experiencing it all in real time, and then writing about it, makes Homegirl pine for Lasik. But then Homegirl would be perfect in every way, so maybe she'll stick to contacts so she can still be relatable. read more