I have found the rest of the stolen relics of ancient China! It's at the lobby of this Buffet on York Mills...
Dragon's Pearl has to be the most ridiculous restaurant I have ever been in all the GTA. At first I was deterred from coming here, because the flyer I received in the mail had spelling mistakes. But to quote my friend Chris: "Usually restaurants with spelling mistakes have good food, because they won't waste time trying to spell things, and just focus on the food."
What a load of bollocks...
So I've come here twice so far, and it's a miracle I've made it out alive both times.
There is always somehow a crowd of people hanging out by the door, even when there is no wait..there they are. Did someone pay them to loiter here so it appears that reservations are hard to come by?
By the lobby, I was met by the heads of the twelve animals of the Chinese Zodiac. The replicas of the relics that Britain stole from China and refuse to return which was featured in the news? Well, the Chinese news anyway.
There were swarms of people waiting for a table, and immediately I regretted not making reservations. However, we were sat upon arrival because there were only two of us. Walking in the venue for the first time is a "trip" itself. The spine of the chairs at the long tables were taller than I was, there are elevated tables on boats, and four round booth that were bird cages. The other tables had chairs so heavy, I struggled like I suffered from obesity simply trying to stand up to get more food as the arm rests kept getting in the way. Some buffets discourage you from eating more by adding MSG or other things to the food, I guess this one discouraged you using shame...
There are European chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, but the furniture were oriental. Wood everywhere like it was cabin fever, and busts of the strange blue statue outside with swirly tits hanging from the walls. I asked a waitress what the blue thing was, and she just smiled at me. If I were apart of the blue man crew, I'd be talking to my Lawyer.
The entire place felt like a theme park, they even give you an individual "lobster ticket" before seating. A voucher for lobster....food ticket, literally. I felt like I was back in 1992 Communist China, lunchtime.
Nothing matched, it was horribly eclectic. It were as if the designer had Mad Décor Disorder. Picture: Columbus arriving in Asia, and the first person he met was Tim Burton.
Normally, buffet stations are set separately. At this place, it's all one sided, stretching across the entire length of the restaurant, which is a traffic catastrophe. It was the Great Wall of Dragon's Pearl. You vouch for your lobster at the beginning of the line, this is a huge tack, but most other buffets never offer lobster..so it's forgiven.
I've forgotten about the unusual design of this place once at the Great Wall..I mean food station. There is so much food! A handsome selection of seafood, a sushi station where the chefs behind the counter doesn't have to feel ashamed about, and even a Peking Duck point!
The desserts and salad bar weren't too shabby either. At the end, there is a noodle pulling station. Which means everything was fresh. But I didn't bother with that, because I just don't have the stomach for it after slobbering my plate. The quality of the food is a bit above other buffets as well, and there is a completely boring projection on the wall while you're getting your food...for no apparent reason.
At this rate, you'd expect the service to fall short, but it just doesn't. Napkins and refills came regularly, most of the time without having to ask for it. Even the ambient music here was tolerable. This is what would happen if Chef Ramsay opened an 'All you can eat' joint. There is simply very little to complain about.
Yes, I felt fatter each time I struggle to stand up from my seat.
Yes, the concept of a lobster ticket is as kitsch as it gets.
Yes, getting the food made me feel like I was in a concentration camp.
But it's all good! I strike fear in the hearts of places like Mandarin and Buffet King, but Dragon's Pearl laughs at me, as I've never been able to get beyond three plates, and still have enough endurance for dessert.
Yes, this was like a endurance test. Like a Marathon, only the opposite.
The second time we came here, after paying the bill we saw our friend at another table getting up for food with his girlfriend. So we quickly went to their table and sat down, confusing the hell out of the waitresses. When they came back, we pretended to look through the drinks menu, which sent them looking for their tables until they realized what we've done. That's the kind of euphoric state I am rendered to after dining here. Don't park your car too far from the entrance, you won't make it back if you do.
Oh, you can also buy jewelry here..?
Dragon's Pearl. I would hate to see the size of the oyster that dragon had to swallow just to get to that pear read more