Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just PEACHY! Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast D'AWWW - BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT!! EVERY SINGLE MORNIN'!! It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train, And she leaned right down next to me And she said, *Deep Breath* "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!!!" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy! Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doodoo yeah! Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules on Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket To Aaaalbuquerque! Aaaalbuquerque! Oh yeah You know, I've never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid at back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died! Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position AH HA HA HA! Ah ha ha! Ahhhh... So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy! And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the Spectravision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say, "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "WHO IS IT?!" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril (Oh man, I hate it when I'm right) So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like, "Tough" And I'm like, "Give it" And he's like, "Make me" And I'm like, "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes, indeed, you'd better believe it *Deep Breath* And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said, "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator In Aaaalbuquerque! Aaaalbuquerque! Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant, until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" [guitar solo] I said, "You got any glazed donuts?" He said, "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said, "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said, "Nooo, we're outta jelly donuts" I said, "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He sa read more

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs In the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just PEACHY! Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast D'AWWW - BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT!! EVERY SINGLE MORNIN'!! It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train, And she leaned right down next to me And she said, *Deep Breath* "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!!!" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy! Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doodoo yeah! Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules on Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket To Aaaalbuquerque! Aaaalbuquerque! Oh yeah You know, I've never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid at back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died! Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position AH HA HA HA! Ah ha ha! Ahhhh... So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy! And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the Spectravision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say, "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "WHO IS IT?!" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril (Oh man, I hate it when I'm right) So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like, "Tough" And I'm like, "Give it" And he's like, "Make me" And I'm like, "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes, indeed, you'd better believe it *Deep Breath* And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said, "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator In Aaaalbuquerque! Aaaalbuquerque! Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant, until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" [guitar solo] I said, "You got any glazed donuts?" He said, "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said, "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said, read more

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop You know the place well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut Every single morning It was driving me crazy I said to my mom I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will glady shave your back for a nickel Wacka wacka doodoo yeah Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque Albuquerque Oh yeah You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before And I gotta tell ya, it was really great Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died Except for me You know why? 'Cause I had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Had my tray table up And my seat back in the full upright position Ah ha ha ha Ah ha ha Ah So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn Where the towels are oh so fluffy And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna It's OK, they're clean Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C And I turned on the SpectraVision And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door Well now, who could that be? I say "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "WHO IS IT?" They're not sayin' anything So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril Oh man, I hate it when I'm right So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that" "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me" And he's like "Tough" And I'm like "Give it" And he's like "Make me" And I'm like "'Kay" So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation Yes indeed, you better believe it And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice And you know what it said? I'll tell you what it said It said "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again" "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator" In Albuquerque Albuquerque Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice But first, I decided to buy some donuts So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?" I said "You got any glazed donuts?" He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts" I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?" He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts" I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?" He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts" I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?" He said "No, we're o read more

Stopped in for a quick bite and am sorry that I did. Some of the best food I've had in the past have been from dive bars, but this was a horrible experience. The only redeeming part was the service from our waitress, she was good. There were 3 of us at the table and we placed our order; hot beef sandwich, grilled chicken salad, and texas burger. After 25 minutes, she had to check on our order. It came out and we should have sent it back. The hot beef sandwich was the worst ever; maybe 3 oz of overcooked, dried out, cold beef slivers on an oversized, cold bun. Yuck. The grilled chicken salad was the size of a side salad, with romaine lettuce and chicken pieces the size of a dime that were microwaved from a frozen state. There might have been maybe 3 Tablespoons of chicken pieces. The burger was the best of all 3 but it was sub-par. The bun was cold; the top of it was twice the height of the burger patty. All you could taste was bun. Overpriced for what you got. Even considering this is an older building, the housekeeping (cleaning) is nasty. I'm surprised the health inspector hasn't shut it down. Never will go back and DO NOT RECOMMEND. read more

Ran by a maga fuck head. Trump stickers and flags posted all in the bar. Has a "Biden supporters stay 100ft back" sign. Clearly not everyone is welcome in the bar and is a safe space for rightwing snow flakes to have drinks and talk about how they love the pedo protector in chief. On top of all that they charge a cover fee just for you to walk in and realize how shitty this place is read more

Politics has NO place in a public business! You can keep your MAGA views to yourself and good luck trying to stay in business. There is another business (hamburger joint) that touted MAGA stuff and I know many that don't darken their doors any longer. #fdt read more

I love this place! Not only are the people that work here great but so are the customers! It's a fun, friendly place with great food, great music, and great drinks! read more

Bar is VERY right wing politically - will never step into this bar again! Has Trump stickers and flags everywhere. STAY AWAY!!!

This place is disgusting. Mice in the kitchen. If you could see how disgusting the kitchen is you'd never eat there.

Stopped in with friends. Vibe is bad, MAGA and Trump posted everywhere. Signs are abrasive and unfriendly.

I was just passing through town and thought I'd give it a try. Great pizza! Great music! Great staff!