This trashy establishment leaves door signs on random people's houses to promote their shitty pizza. The last thing I want to come home to is a sign that says emergency on my door and then learning from security at my apartment complex if this was not approved so someone who works for this shitty company went to the doors in my complex and solicited put promo garbage all over. I will not visit this place ever and I would suggest a Fire whoever came up with this marketing idea because it's got me annoyed and writing a review against this shitty place. read more

Satellite Tavern - Shitty ac - Sports Bars Near Me - Portland, Oregon

Met up with the ladies for a bday bar hop! There were a good bit of people there for a Ducks game but it was fine, lots of seating arranged in pretty interesting fashion (if you go there, you'll see what I mean). Our party did not order food, just beer (decent tap list) and Jell-O shots (mediocre). One friend complained that it was difficult to get the servers/bartenders to our table, she kept trying to flag someone down and wasn't being noticed. Anyway, that's my small experience. The parking is awful (street only) but the bar seems cool and I'd like to return sometime and try out some of the menu offerings! read more

This place is good to watch football and drinking can beers with caveats. Service is hit or miss and when a miss it seems like all servers are on break at the same time. Either way it is usually quicker just to go to the bar and order which then sucks for your server. Have only ordered food once here which were the chicken tenders, they tasted like chicken textured water. The tenders lead me to think they were frozen after deep fry then microwaved to serve (the fries were decent along with the bbq sauce). Something is screwy with the taps to where your beer won't have any stick and feels partially flat. I personally haven't had mixed drinks here but those I've been with ended up in switching to Montuckies after their first due to poor quality. I really like the space and what it has to offer for watching sports but doesn't seem like they know how to execute on food, drinks, or consistent service. The covered patio with tvs is a huge selling point. Grab a bucket of cheap can beers and you'll be good. read more

Standard dive bar with good collection of TV's. Good spot for football I suppose but don't really go out of my way to come here. Not the cheapest food for a dive bar so I never ended up ordering any food. I do like the assortment of criminal jerseys that they have around the place. read more

Group of buddies assembled for March Madness. First, thanks for being open for tip off at 9am both days! You're the only sports bar in town actually open for the entirety of the tournament. Second, breakfast was awesome. Kudos to the kitchen. Finally, and most importantly, one word: KEL. Kel is the best. Perfect level of snark and over the top level of service. Drinks were always full, coffee topped off, and she made us feel like we were "at home". Most of us made the journey from SW Portland. Satellite is worth the drive. read more

Satellite Tavern - Sports Bars Near Me - Portland, Oregon

Kel is amazing!! Always making sure we are well fed and the drinks are flowing! You know you will have a great time at Satellite when you see her slinging drinks and giving amazing service! read more

Satellite is one of the best places to watch sports in Portland. They have tons of televisions both inside and out. The outdoor patio is huge and dog friendly. The service has always been pretty great here too. All that being said, this place needs to up their food for non-meat eaters. They have burgers and sandwiches... no options for vegetarians or pescatarians (not even a meat-free patty sub for the burger). They have a couple salads that are not super exciting. There is a mac and cheese as well as some appetizers a vegetarian could eat such as pretzels, fries, and quesadilla. As someone who comes to this place fairly often it would be great to have some real meal options for vegetarians. Same opinion for the breakfast options on the weekends. read more

Cool spot for sports. Good food and good drinks. Service was great as well. Fun games outside.

Great staff, food, and plenty of TVs with various sports both indoors and outdoors. They have a great indoor space with the bar/lottery room but if that's not enough they have a covered outdoor patio where games are streaming as well so it's great for large groups. Nice selection of drinks on tap and shots if you prefer that. Food menu is simple bar food but they have some nice entrees to pick from as well. We tried the chicken strips, rosemary fries, corndogs, and burgers and they were pretty tasty. Food came out piping hot and easy to share amongst the table. Staff here is great and seem to have a lot of locals come in as well. Whether it's basketball playoffs or baseball come and you will have a nice selection and space to enjoy. No parking lot but there's free street parking in the area. read more

I was trying so hard to love this place. The outdoor seating looked amazing, & I'm sure it's wonderful during the summer months. I usually go to bars for food & drink, so that's why my rating was low. Pros: Service was good- the waitress was very nice & attentive. There were many tvs with different sports to choose from. There was good music playing, but wasn't so loud you couldn't talk. Cons: before we could even order drinks, the waitress said she'd just tell us what they have in stock because the beer delivery hadn't arrived, & they seemed to be out of most things. I tried to order mozzarella sticks, but they were out of marinara sauce. My friend tried to order a specific burger, but they were out. Then he got excited about a lime guac listed on the menu. But they were out. And apparently some of the old menus were still in circulation, so that shouldn't have been on there anymore. There should've been silverware already on the table in the little menu holder, but it was empty. So fail fail fail, all in a row. Not a great first impression! I settled for chicken tenders. I should've taken a picture. They were the most pitiful display of tenders I've ever seen! 6 teeny tiny pieces, the largest one was the size of my thumb, including breading. Flavor was actually good, but these were the size of gum balls! For $15, with fries. It didn't seem busy enough for staff not to have time to stock silverware & remove old menus at some time during the workweek. I'm all for supporting a local bar, but I was so disappointed in them being out of everything & the price for the teeny portion of meat. Sorry, Satellite. I will not be returning. read more

No Happy hour as listed on detail by Yelp. When I asked, they said no happy hour for a long time. When I mentioned Yelp shows a happy hour bar tender stated, yeah somebody else does that. I suggested they get their advertising current with policies. He didnt seem interested. Huge sports bar ambiance. Great view of screens, not much else interesting. Too bad, I used to like this place under past 2 owners. Updating my review to take one star away. I just got homw with my mac and cheese and there are NO breadcrumbs per the menu description. I paid $13 plus for about $3 of mac with some cheese sauce. So disapointing, at least have accurate descriptions.!!!!! read more

I love the flexibility of a large outdoor area with a fire pit. The staff are great. The inside bar area is a great set up. All the food I've had has been very good and the specialty drinks are fantastic! read more

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Amazing food, great service, great atmosphere- can't recommend it enough! Parking is challenging as there's no parking lot. Huge coveted and heated patio area. read more

Satellite Tavern - Menu - Sports Bars Near Me - Portland, Oregon

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Great place to enjoy some beer and wings. They have the right amount of TVs for any sports fan. Definitely will recommend this place to my friends. read more

Great place to watch sports. Wonderful service. Good beer list and pub food. Patio is roomy and fun, and is partially enclosed during inclement weather read more

Awesome patio, with big screens and great back yard energy. Cool V I B E inside and love the mural. Anita and Tobi are the friendliest bartenders around. read more

Satellite Tavern - Thank you Tobi and Anita. Love the hospitality. - Sports Bars Near Me - Portland, Oregon

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this place rocks. I go here to watch lots of sports. the staff is super friendly. they have outdoor games as well if you don't like to watch sports. I like the decor too. Food is good. read more

Cool atmosphere, great service and good food..... Just wish they had a bigger menu, and rotating specials.

Was treated with the worst service I have ever experienced in my life. They wouldn't even let us enter the building "due to capacity" then moments after we left we saw a small crowd walk in that didn't get denied. One of the blonde haired server/bartenders was literally laughing at us as she kicked us out "Where can we wait?" "Nowhere. You just leave" That was her response. Maybe it was because we are a group of Asians and the whole bar was white? Lol Regardless f this place read more

Traci and Ana were amazing! made my birthday memorable. 10/10 will come back. Christopher was funny

EDIT: I legitimately live next to Satellite in N Portland, and went there 3 times to give them a chance. The first time I just wasn't impressed, but the other two I wished I went somewhere else. I'll point out the proprietor has found some technicality to keep my review from being calculated in their average, so I'll just note a good business would find a way to fix the problems they have, or would be a good neighbor to begin with. A subpar business will evade responsibility, or finagle to keep reviews they don't like out of their score. If you're looking, they're showing you what kind of place they are. Original Review below: I live in the neighborhood, and had been a few times before, but never again. Go to Haymaker on Killingsworth for better food. (Chances are that Dave will be manning the bar. He's a cool dude.) Or, go to Seraveza (also on Killingsworth) for better ambiance, and a huge selection of beers. As for Satellite? The food is okay, but they're jerks. And that's enough reason to fail in Portland, because there are so many other places to choose from that get the fundamentals right. Not least is Satellite's uneven customer service (as in other reviews, I experienced it too), but also they're really bad neighbors, regularly ignoring Portland noise ordinances with some overpowered outdoor speakers. They really do not care about the neighborhood in the least. Maybe you don't mind supporting a business that's a bad neighbor or not. But you can find better spots for both food and atmosphere, just in walking distance from this place. read more

The overall rating for this place makes me angry frankly. I just almost straight rage quite my yelp screen... yeah get a grip bro. Anyway, I was chilling and thinking of a place to review I had been to a few times and Satellite came to mind. I always go a few times before revieiwng anywhere. If your worth reviewing, then obviously I'm coming back.. a lot. If you suck, then thanks for the meal and your secrets safe with me. I expected to find a solid 4. Maybe even a 4.5, but a 3. Really?... Thats not at all representative of this fine locally owned neighborhood establishment. Back to Satellite. They do not suck. Not at all. 3 stars most people wouldnt say sucks, but compared to what this place should have as their ranking, it's infuriating. That's what it is right now and I'm throwinf in my 5 stars with the following breakdown. Someone mentioned the patio maybe being the best in Portland. That's not the case. It is the best. Hands down. Plenty of spaced out covid proper seating tastefully placed TVs for sports viewing. One of the best neighborhood sports bar in Portland imo, and I've lived in all 4 quadrants, so I feel I have at least a little perspective on that. I mean... if being surrounded by frat boys trying to break the record for number of $1 hot wings and pints of paps consumed before a stomach pump is required is your thing, then this is probably not the spot for you. Has a nice grassy area with firepit, lawn games on the side and just all done with a cohesive style. No wont post pics. Go there yourself and see it and support the business. Inside. The mural. Nuff said. If you haven't seen it,, then please see comment above regarding supporting a local business. So I'm going to say atmosphere 5. Drinks. 5. The most important thing hands down with no allowable debate or argument is.... Not over priced. Drinking out is an expensive endeavor. Their drink prices are undeniably fair. Two Rotating slushies that don't suck and are actually interesting flavors... Usually, I mean regular margarita deserves a slot on stage still from time to time right? That guys got history. Yes, Margaritas are guys to me. Girls get everything. Cars are girls. Instruments are girls. "Ain't she a beaut". Let me have this one. I need this!. Ok moving on. Full bar. Great selection of beers. Lots of specials and stuff to make it interesting. I could go on actually, but I'm going to call this one a solid 5 + Food. 5++ Straight the f up hidden gem alert on this one. You wouldnt guess it from the not too hipster not too divey neighborhood sportsb vibe but everything thag comes out of that kitchen is amazing and done in house from scratch. Let's talk about making everything in house. Even the things where your thinking oh yeah all bars use a pretty made frozen chicken strip right?... no house made, from scratch, and juicy and delicious. I'll list some items I have ordered here multiple times and they have been solid every time. Consistency from the cook staff is exceptional. I live in the area, and I eat here regular. Jt cant be the same person making my food every single time. They have it dialed. Anyway the list: Chicken strip. Already mentioned above. If strips are your thing you will not be disappointed. Served with acceptable fries. Burgers. In a city where your burger better be off the chain amazing for me to not just gloss right over your burger section, theres is a worthy addition to your regular burger rotation. Sandwiches. Copy and paste above. Mini corndogs. Not frozen house made with a quality actual hot dog. Not some,"let's make this fancy", and in the process of doing so totally ruin it by using an andoullie suasage bs. I'm looking st you Pine State Biscuits!. Served with a house ma...ok I'm just gonna say insert that in front of all items. Anyway, it's a sweet mustard dipping sauce that I'm about to do some mission impossible style shot to steal. Nachos - holy fing sh!t some of the best in Portland. Even the chips are house made. Yeah no big deal but here's the thing... they dont suck! That's a thing for me with house made chips I'm sorry. These are awesome. The bean element is a coney style sauce of some kind I believe but a little sweeter. Plans are in the works to steal the recipe. I'm sorry it's too powerful to only be wielded by one kitchen. I'm doing this for the sake of everyone. Trust me. Every other element is fresh and yes house made. I think they even grow some of their own stuff but dont quote me on that. There is more but this is already too long.... oh yeah! This is Portland and the patio is dog friendly. Mic drop. read more

The Oregon Chapter of the Penn State Alumni Association has called the Satellite Tavern home for our football watch parties since our previous location closed at the end of the 2019 season. Anita and the staff are like family - they remember our names, our likes and our dislikes. The food is very good and the portions are good sized. I typically don't drink because of the long drive home, but other experiences there show that the prices are reasonable. Their new covered patio with heaters and more TVs is awesome - the perfect location for a late fall football game in Oregon. See you next season, but I will be back before then. PS: Just remember to leave your bullshit at the door! read more

This place was a disaster ! They didn't want to change one tv to show a game, made our party of 5 sit separate even though the table next to us was fine, and the other people were equally distanced. Soon as we got our drinks we wanted to leave because it was awkward. The bar tender said we could sit outside in the cold pouring rain. As we left, another group was leaving and even said the woman manager was rude as hell. Won't be coming back! read more

Great food, great service, very chill atmosphere. Good place to catch some games. All of the burgers I've had here taste amazing

After spotting the cool side patio after going down the road some friends and I opted to stop in to watch the game and grab some food and drinks. The patio is great. They have a nice atmosphere and nice screens for viewing. Then here comes the rain. So we move inside where the atmosphere is not really the same. Almost dark and dated. But very much so still doable. However what made us leave an otherwise somewhat enjoyable experience, was the attitude of the bar manager who couldn't make a freaking CadillacMargarita to save her life. So we order 2 rounds of drinks and the Rita's were great and then here comes Miss manager to take over because the other lady is too slow, and she serves us bitter garbage. We couldn't even drink them. Horrid. Miss manager needs to take some lessons. I'd rather have a slow good drink than fast and nasty. read more

Kinda sad, they have a great outdoor patio.. but they don't have a designated smoking area.. so be warned you can be sitting outside enjoying fresh clean air one minute.. only to have four people sit down and light cigarettes up... Litterly blowing it in your face/table... Sometimes I wonder how oblivious to the world can smokers really be.. I was one for almost five years in my twenties and I never remember being so obnoxious to others read more

Satellite Tavern - a group of people sitting at a picnic table - Sports Bars Near Me - Portland, Oregon

What a great neighborhood sports bar with kickass smoked wings. Outside seating on the patio is plentiful weather permitting. Friendly service. Cheap generous drinks too. Love the mural behind the bar! read more

Our first time here since it changed and I was really disappointed. There was only one customer besides us, who seemed to be either friends with the staff or even an off duty employees, so service was quick. The waitress was sweet and had some fun banter. My boyfriend ordered the chili burger and I ordered the chicken strips. I loved the different tv screen options which I'm sure is great on game nights. The mural of celebs was a fun touch as we tried to decipher who they were and laughed that the David Bowie resembled Jeff Goldblum all the while old school rap playing in the background. The food is where it went downhill. My "buttermilk chicken strips" were so dark they looked burned. They taste like deep fried frozen chicken you'd by from Winco. They were flat and rubbery and the crust just fell off. My boyfriends chili burger looked good but the cheese sauce on top was congealed and looked as though they just laid a packaged cheese slice on top and microwaved it. I don't think we will be coming back, which is sad since it's a fun little place. Hopefully the food quality can be upgraded at some point because in a whole, it could be a great place if the food was better. read more

Been in Satellite Tavern one time. Management needs to learn how to create an atmosphere. People pay restaurant prices for food and drinks for the atmosphere. Maybe some music in the background along with the TVs would be good? This place has the ambience of a nursing home. I found it boring and overpriced. Just my opinion. read more

Yo. I ordered a burger WELL-DONE to be safe and y'all sent me a raw fucking hamburger patty. New Year's or not, this shit is unacceptable. read more

Satellite Tavern - Raw ass meat that smells AWFUL - Sports Bars Near Me - Portland, Oregon

This restaurant was ... odd. The vibe and decor were extremely confusing. Besides that the food was very mediocre. I came with a party of 7 and the service was great, which is why I gave 2 stars instead of 1. The food was its biggest downfall. No one was super impressed with it and the "vegan" options are sad. I had a beyond burger with tomato, onion, and pickles and it was exactly as expected. For vegetarians the options are plentiful, burgers have bbq mayo and cheese. The rest of my party are meat and no one was wowed. Everything was average or below average. The menu is really confusing because there is no consistency. Meals come with corn chips, and it costs $2 to upgrade to fries. read more

We did not see any of the rudeness other folks posted about. The staff was very friendly. We were able to find a safely distanced seat for the 2 of us. The food we ordered arrived quickly and was tasty even for bar food. The slushies are a winner. read more

Satellite Tavern - Pumpkin spice slushy - Sports Bars Near Me - Portland, Oregon