I am writing this as I prepare to leave Villa Rancho Bernardo after nearly five years…read more
I have lived with a spinal cord injury for approximately 27 years and came to VRB with established bowel and bladder care requirements--medical necessities, not conveniences. During my stay I was assigned to Fairmont, Wellington II, Lexington, and Santa Fe. Despite those moves, I experienced recurring concerns with completion of my bowel program and missed scheduled suprapubic catheter changes.
There were also attempts to coerce me to remain in bed on a scheduled seating day. Because I depend on staff for transfers, had I succumbed to that pressure, it would have affected my independence, routine, and quality of life. A resident should not feel that staying in bed is the only option because assistance is not willingly provided.
I repeatedly advocated for myself and participated in meetings. Ultimately, the options presented did not provide a long-term solution compatible with my needs, so I chose another placement.
Kyle Dawson (Administrator): It was a pleasure to officially meet you for the first time during what became my final VRB meeting. Thank you for the confirmations of "no" that helped resolve suspicions of my own. Your comments about checking seasoning expiration dates and random tray pulls reminded me of HBO's Getting On. Dark comedy suddenly did not feel so far-fetched.
Food has been one of the most persistent complaints I heard during my stay. In my experience, much of it is highly processed, vegetables are often overcooked, and residents have jokingly called the chicken "suspicious" and beef "mystery meat." Checking seasonings and occasionally sampling a tray cannot address concerns about taste, quality, waste, or residents not wanting to eat.
I especially commend families who bring meals and spend countless hours ensuring their loved ones are cared for. Your presence does not go unnoticed.
To families and staff: advocate, listen, and BE KIND. Everyone is human.
To staff who used VRB as a stepping stone and moved forward: I saw myself in you. Keep pursuing work aligned with your purpose. Staff set the tone of a resident's day, and residents deserve care from people who want to provide it.
To anyone considering working at VRB or placing a loved one here: know your rights, document concerns, and advocate. Resources include the San Diego County Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program, California Department of Public Health (CDPH), San Diego County Adult Protective Services (APS), and California Labor Commissioner's Office--Division of Labor Standards Enforcement (DLSE), when applicable.
To residents who may never leave VRB, I send unbreakable love and wishes for clean, restful, dignified and bright days.
Many people at VRB treated me with compassion, respect, humor, and kindness. They should not be overshadowed by my difficult experiences.
My five stars are for ME surviving VRB--and for those with whom I shared both pleasurable and unpleasant moments. I forgive you.
My greatest lesson: know your rights, know your care plan, document what happens, and advocate for yourself.
I leave VRB without bitterness, but I will not minimize my experience. The positive and difficult moments are all part of my journey.
Thank you & goodbye!
Special appreciation:
Residents: Ruth Sun, Garry Gross, Marvin Cardwell, Evangelina Cortez De Morales, Jane E. Jacobson, Barry Cummings, John Kordela, Catherine Bennette, Sharon Diaz, Raydaniel Gumabon.
CNAs: Angelica Arizala (Gelly), Sherwin Mendoza, Keyondra Gates, Linh Bunn (Little Assistant), Ana Vallejo, Onuba, Ysadra, Charlie, Renalyn Cruz (Reyna), Sunshine Felaire, Efrin Cailao, Cecilia Delynas (CiCi), Geogina Vallejo, Librada Valenzuela, Jerwin Boral, Samuel Ponce, Adrian, Ruby Batinga, Angie, Vioa Ramirez, Elena Bungcayao, Shane Royes, Rexmond Esparagoza, Brigette Fajotina (B), Leslie Martinez (Big Bird), Hazel Martinez (Favorite Witch), Laura, Judith, Ms. T, Key.
RNAs: Dorina Graham (Deena), Joy Castaneda, Mary Jackson (Ms. Mary), Zeny Angchangco, Reggie Cabalo, Mervin Cabalo, Yelena Sonza, Venus Wylkes, Ricardo Carreon.
RN/LVN: Frank Solis, Raymond Boral, Klarissa Castillo, Maria Jose (MJ), Marijane Kresge (MJ), Anita Wafford, Serena Flores, James Sorrell, Lillian Escabar, Melvin Leonard, Sonya, Cora, Eleanor, Nelia, Monika Rani.
Activities: Shannon Sutton, Christine Spade, Allana Maddox (Tucker), Mary Helen Estrada, Connie Ramirez, Leanne Manadero, Liza.
Reception: Julianna Carlin, Shane Royes, Jason Zeng, Maria Fortelaza, Zay De Leon, Gwen Bridges (Momma Gwen/Ms. Gwen).
Social Services: Norma.
Housekeeping/Laundry: Jovette, Olivia, René.
Dietary: Jolan Viera.
Maintenance: Ador, Henry, Ronel Ramirez, Elbert Myles.