Bottom Line: A one-star experience but I am giving Twain's Tavern two stars in the spirit of forgiveness for a new business operating under a soft opening.
Even after reading all of the awful Yelp reviews I arrived with an open mind and lots of patience. Unfortunately, once Twain's Tavern gets past the soft opening hiccups I still think it's going to be "Meh" so I doubt I will be back to give it another chance.
Here are a few notes to provide context for my review:
1. It's a rare day that I write a negative Yelp review. In fact, of 769 reviews, only 6% of them are two-star reviews like this one. Moreover, less than 1% of them are one-star reviews.
2. New businesses deserve forgiveness and understanding; therefore, I have written this review with that in mind. This is a one-star business but I am giving Twain's Tavern a second star recognizing that they just opened.
3. I never went to Bamboo Burnie's so I won't compare this new establishment to it.
To honor the local business, let's start out with what Twain's Tavern has done well:
- Our waitress tried really hard. She seemed to have tables all over the place and was really good about coming back to check on us. Unfortunately, she was often disappointed to find that entrees were wrong, beers, were missing, etc. Also, I appreciate that she graciously did separate checks for our group.
- The $5 burgers on Friday nights are a bit greasy but flavorful and juicy. Also, the fries were perfectly crisp.
- The parking lot has been freshly paved with asphalt.
Here is where Twain's Tavern went amiss:
- Renovation?: There was a lot of hype about the building undergoing a $1M renovation. Unfortunately, I cannot even begin to guess where that $1M went. The décor is dated and there is nothing neither Twain nor tavern about it. My best guess is they upgraded things that the consumer isn't likely to notice like the kitchen, HVAC, plumbing etc. Examples of dated décor included faux oak tables, booth seats upholstered in 1980s vinyl fabric and chairs that look like they belong in a $4 Chinese buffet.
- False Marketing; Not Upscale: The marketing for Twain's Tavern say it is an "upscale tavern." There is nothing upscale about this place. As noted above, this isn't a tavern either. It reminds me of the bars and clubs I've seen on that TV show Swamp People. (And there isn't anything with the places where the Swamp People hang out - my gripe is about a misalignment between marketing and reality.) S.M.'s review summarizes the clientele better than I ever could.
- More False Marketing Regarding Beer: Twain's Tavern also self-proclaims that they feature Maryland craft beers. While they do offer some Maryland craft beers, their selection is slim. Here there is no beer list but the waitress was kind enough to let us look at her list. Moreover, the wait staff lacks familiarity with the beer selection and more importantly, adequate aptitude to properly respond to customer inquiries. For example, I asked our waitress what kind of beer Curious Traveler was and she said, "Honestly, I don't know" followed by a blank stare. While I appreciate her honesty, I think a better response would be, "Let me check with the bartender and get back to you" or "Let me pour you a sip of that taster to try."
- Loud Noise and Disrespectful Staff: As other Yelpers noted, it's really loud in here. While I totally expect a bayou dance club to be loud at night, I was hoping to be able to have conversation in the "tavern" dining room at 5pm. We asked twice if the music could be turned down a tad in our corner but it didn't happen. I think Twain's Tavern alienated a lot of people that night because the clientele at 5pm was an older crowd having an early dinner and I suspect they wanted to have conversation too. The band started around 6pm and it go even louder. I thought the band was outside and they were pumping the music in through the speakers. My table asked again about the volume level and this time the busy boy explained it was a live band playing inside. He could have left it at that, but then noted, "I'll see if they can turn it down for the table in the back." Then he even made the effort to make a return trip to say, "Hey, I checked with the band to see if they wanted to stop playing for you but they said they didn't." He snickered and then walked off without removing any dirty dishes. I've never seen a single restaurant employee disrespect seven guests at once.
- Missed Opportunity on the Twain Theme: I think there is a lot of lost opportunity on the Twain theme. There isn't anything here that reminds me of literary master Samuel Clemens and his lively tales and humor. There is a graphic and quote on the wall but that doesn't even come close to justify using Twain in the title. How about a Big Tom Burger, Huck Finn Fries or Mississippi Mud Pie? read more