Continuing with my quarantine catch up... I ate at the skilled with a customer over the winter. We had absolutely fantastic service from our waiter and a very friendly bartender who seemed to enjoy our company or may just have a tendency to pour bourbon A couple fingers taller than your average bartender. This is important when you consider the extensive bourbon selection that they offer at fairly reasonable prices. You should stop in here if only for a cocktail or generous pour of bourbon, but you really should stay for the food. We shared a burrata salad for an appetizer with super fresh, ridiculously tasty cheese. I got the fried chicken special which was exceptional and my customer got the halibut which I was also fortunate to taste. Cannot go wrong with either one. We both had an extra bourbon for dessert and called it a night. Great experience. read more

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This was my first time to this spot on Jefferson in downtown Lexington. Initially, the lack of parking on a busy Friday evening was a frustration. However, once I sat down at the table it was all forgotten. Our server was friendly and helpful. We ordered starters for dinner, which was more than ample. I had the She Crab Soup and the Ahi Bowl. The soup was lovely, but the Ahi Bowl was truly fantastic. The seasoning was divine. I normally will avoid the greens that are added to such things as I deem them more decorative than edible. However, each ingredient, seasoning and sauce complimented the others so beautifully, I ate every bite. It is worth noting that my companion had Poutine, which she said was delicious but was not adorned with the heavy gravy she was used to seeing in Canada. She also had the Mussels which she designated the best she has ever had, and, without divulging her age, she has certainly been around long enough to have had her fair share. Because the meal was so wonderful, we did indulge in dessert. I had a fantastic blueberry Ice cream, although they had a fancy name for it (some cross between ice cream and sorbet); my friend had the apple pie with buttermilk strawberry ice cream ("apple pie" also not technically correct). They were perfect portions and worth the additional calories. I look forward to returning. read more

Super yummy food and good service. If it is hot outside, I really recommend asking for a table inside. We were seriously burning up outside. They have some small fans but that is it. Otherwise you are in a room so the breeze is blocked but all the heat remains. We also waited around an hour for our food, but we got bread and it was busy. When they food came, though, it was absolutely delightful. read more

No such thing as a rare burger. Asked the server to barely cook my burger and it arrived brown/grey all the way through. Joe refused to remove it from the bill. To add insult to injury the bill had a 20% gratuity included. I will ask Amex to cancel it. Don't ever eat here if you want your food cooked the way you want it. Better yet, don't ever eat here. read more

It's a nice restaurant with a standard looking American menu - I think it hits many buttons of a hallmark 'fine dining spot.' We started with the meatball appetizer which was good, while I had the chicken as my main. It was juicy, well-cooked, albeit a bit too spicy than I'd personally prefer, though our server noted that. However; I really didn't see much else on the menu I would personally have wanted, which is more up to personal preference. It's a small menu, which means they're gonna focus on quality and you definitely do get that. But, if I'm being honest, it's more a restaurant for other folks to enjoy, as I think there's better options for other items on the menu and the one thing I figured might be a standout for me wasn't. It's good, but I have no reason to go as nothing really seemed to stand out for me. read more

(Now located on Jefferson Street on the old Nick Ryan's) We attended their quiet re-opening a couple nights ago and were completely blown away! Before, at the Sire Hotel, the location was unique and the decor really was the showpiece, even though the food was outstanding. Now, the decor is still beautiful, but the SERVICE is the showpiece and the food is more magnificent than I remember! Chef Wombles is a friend of the couple we dined with, and sent out an amuse bouche to welcome us, which was the Country Ham Wrapped Scallops entree portioned out for 4. The boys insisted on Pernod Mussels as an appetizer, and liked the sauce so well they requested a whole new bread basket to sop it up! By the way, their bread is from Sunrise Bakery - gotta love that local sourcing! Myself and one other ordered the Low Country She Crab Soup as part of our entree, which was SO decadent and rich. I could have stopped right then and been perfectly satisfied, but I'm glad I didn't. We also split an order of the House Meatballs appetizer (3), which were delicious and served atop grits. YUM! My boyfriend devoured every bite of the Organic Scottish Salmon, which was served with an Asian flair. Another person ordered the Braised Short Rib & Pappardelle; apparently that was too good to share (just kidding, he offered but I was stuffed). As if that weren't enough, we decided to share a dessert: English butter cake with lemon chiffon (?), blueberries, and mixed berry sorbet. That sorbet though. Wow! And all made in house. Holy moly. Best meal I have had in quite some time! We also enjoyed a variety of yummy cocktails and wine along the way. Our server, Padgett, took the experience over the top with his charming demeanor and endless supply of happy energy. His knowledge of the wines was impressive, and we will absolutely be asking for him by name upon return. read more

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Solid food, great patio but drinks need some help. Things that keep it form earning five stars: - If I've booked a RSVP via Open Table or calling in...don't make me wait any additional 15-20 minutes. - The host stand almost always seems to be unoccupied. - The bartenders have a hard time with any complicated cocktails. read more

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This is a 3 1/2 star, but could have been a 5-star. Went on Derby Day after spending the bulk of the day at Keeneland watching many of the races. Love the atmosphere and menu options here. Bottom line is that our server (we had reservations made months in advance) ruined a very good (if not excellent) experience with the food and ambience, otherwise. Our party of five, seated in the bar side of the restaurant, had a nice table with TV of the Derby in sight. Service started out adequately (not overly notable) UNTIL....the two "shared" meals were placed while one person ordered the crab cakes. Quickly noted,...the crab cakes were exceptional. But, once the server took our order, the service fell off--and fast. No one in our party said anything until we're leaving and walking back to our car. Three of the five of us all said the same thing. The server appeared uninterested and not happy with our shared meals upon ordering. We're not cheap and, in fact, paid the $5 sharing charge. We shouldn't have to give a reason why not all of us were hungry. And, I won't. This sort of service is unacceptable anywhere. I essentially travel for a living and eat out regularly 40 weeks a year. It's rare to see this. I wanted to LOVE this restaurant, but she took us down. Short term thinking on her part and selfish. read more

Service was horrible I understand they were short staffed but most of the employees where too busy playing on their phone or talking to other employees instead of working . 6 tables sat un cleaned while we where there . Took 2 hours just to eat brunch with 4 tables seated. Food was good. read more

My wife and I have been exploring the food scene since moving to lex area 5 yrs ago. Some good some not so good, BUT Distilled absolutely knocked it out of park! We ordered 4 appetizers, 2 entrees and 1 dessert. Everything was spot on; perfectly cooked, artfully plated and each dish had a unique chefs twist. Our server, Casey, was outstanding, very knowledgeable and a joy to talk to about food. The top of the list of outstanding Lex restaurants is small but from our experience Distilled is at or near the top! read more

My first time in a while .. didn't disappoint as usual!! Waiting for others, I ordered the vanilla infused old fashioned .. not sweet & loved the vanilla essence. Went with the ahi tuna bowl for dinner .. delicious & fresh, perfectly seared tuna!! Ended with a glass of Uppercut cab to have with the shared brownie dessert with ice cream. Perfect ending..warm & gooey Our server, Evelyn was a gem .. knowledgeable, friendly .. very focused on our needs!! read more

Distilled On Jefferson - Yummy brownie - Southern Near Me - Lexington, Kentucky

We came to Lexington from out of town and Distilled was recommended to us for dinner, and we were NOT disappointed! We got the cheese platter as an appetizer, which was pretty good but very simple. We didn't realize that they bring out a basket of bread as well, so we would have bypassed ordering the cheese plate if we had known. I wouldn't necessarily recommend ordering it anyways. The entrees though.....we're OUT OF THIS WORLD. My husband ordered the Duck Breast and was really pleased with his choice, I ordered the Pork Tenderloin and was blown.away. Not only was the pork perfectly cooked, but the mixture of flavors between the Brussel slaw, sweet potato purée, and there was a sweet butter mixture in the middle that was divine. I would HIGHLY recommend the pork! We will absolutely keep Distilled in our back pockets when we visit Lexington again. read more

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Our choice for NYE dining this year and we were thoroughly delighted. Jackie provided attentive service yet respected the privacy we sought. My vanilla old fashion was served in an oversized glass and packed plenty of flavor. The 3 course dinner was exquisite: granny apple salad, fillet, and almond dessert. Light biscuits and the pepper jelly were light and fiery. Definitely will visit again soon. Returned again 2/15/20, for post Valentines Day celebration. Same opinion-5 stars. Filet and Halibut special were fabulous. Casey our server was passionate about the menu but not pushy. Thanks for another wonderful dining experience. read more

Great place for a relaxing meal, unique eats and great service. Our waitress Whitney really took the time to explain everything about the menu. I had the bucatini which was amazing. Fresh mussels and shrimp. My partner had the porcini filet which was great. Nice wine selection as well. The ambience is beautiful. Indoor and outdoor dining as well read more

One of my favorite places in Lexington. Great ambience, chef inspired dishes, quiet and intimate setting.

We went to Distilled on Friday night after hearing mixed reviews from friends. This is the type of place that I would probably take my parents when they come to town-- it is not really a "foodie" destination for dinner, but a good place for a nice dinner. That said, we really enjoyed our meal. I definitely recommend reservations if going on a weekend night. We parked on the street as there was plenty of parking. It is a little confusing when you walk in as there are multiple entrances- we walked through the back near the bar before finding the host stand near the entrance to the inn. It is an upscale environment...good for groups/celebrations. They have a decent wine list and an extensive bourbon selection. We started with the shrimp fritters which were as expected, nothing too special- the sauce was made with horseradish cream which was good. We were brought a basket of cornbread/biscuits with butter/honey/local jelly which were good- the jelly wasn't my favorite as it had a spicy flavor that seems out of place, but the cornbread was delicious. We ordered the sea bass special which was served over basil fennel and pistachios. We also ordered the farm chicken which was by far the highlight of the meal. The breading was crisp and just the right amount of salty. It was served over collard greens and fingerling potatoes. It was one of my favorite dishes I have had since moving to Lexington. We were too full for dessert, so we skipped that. Overall, we really enjoyed our experience and would recommend it. read more

Distilled On Jefferson - Southern Near Me - Lexington, Kentucky

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If only the food tasted as good as the menu makes it sound. They must have hired a novelist, because I wanted to try every single thing on this menu. I stuck with the oysters for an appetizer - at first delicious, then by the end I realized I was eating mostly the outer fried part and the relish garnish (which was delicious) but the oyster itself was nearly non-existent in half the oysters. I still laugh at the $14 "lettuces" salad - the description made it seem worth trying even if I thought it was overpriced for some lettuce. However, a totally tasteless bunch of greens was the actual fact. A pistachio dressing in theory sounds pretty interesting. In reality, there was no taste at all. To sum it up, the salad flavor was "wet lettuce". Finally the she crab soup... a bunch of super salty cream. I suppose there was crab in there but the salt content made it inedible. If they offered this in a small cup size, it might be worth it, but the giant bowl, no. I got one of the signature cocktails, again because the menu made it sound delicious. Something with lavender? But again, meh. I had something good last time I was there, but this time no. I may or may not try this place again, but if a restaurant can't even manage to make a salad taste good, is suspicious to me. read more

***This review is for the bar only*** Drink list: http://distilledatgratzparkinn.com/menu/DistilledCocktailsBeer.pdf (As you can see from the list, they make all of their own infusions etc. For some reason what I had is not on this list. Either this list has not been updated for summer, or this was a special) What I had: A Vodka Lemonade Cocktail with a Lavender-Thyme simple. This was the best cocktail I had while I was in Lexington. And what I loved most was after I complimented the bartender he said, yeah we love to play around and don't really believe in measuring anything out. It's just all done by feel and taste. And I love that! That is how I make my cocktails at home and no wonder this was so delicious. I trust in people that do good work and it really shows here. The service was fantastic and I also loved that our bartender offered us some advice on other cocktail bars to check out, and was so friendly, knowledgeable, and passionate about the area. Standout service all the way around. I also loved the atmosphere and the homage it paid to Lexington. As a visitor to this city I loved the neighborhood it was in and all of the historic markers etc. then once we got inside the history continued all along the inn's walls with photos, facts etc. I didn't know this Inn existed before visiting, but next time I would totally book a stay here just to have access to this super cozy and posh southern lounge. 5-stars as good as it gets! read more

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Went for an luncheon and liked the ambiance. Very nicely decorated and set up. Ordered Pistachio Salad, Cheese steak on Baguette, & Sweet Tea Pound Cake. First off service was excellent! Servers were friendly and efficient. Bread was warm and fresh. Lettuce greens was great needed more dressing and pistachios. Steak was sooooooooo tender and delicious but missing bacon that was listed on the menu. Baguette was too hard for me. I was not overly impressed with the pound cake presentation...seemed sloppy. Plus had to wait a LONG time for it. I would go again maybe the luncheon made it challenging to get food out quickly. read more

Distilled On Jefferson - Cheesesteak - Southern Near Me - Lexington, Kentucky

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My hubs and I went to Distilled on Jefferson for my birthday tonight. I'll start with the reasons we knocked a star off. The top one was that it was hard to know what entrance to go in. If you're planning to go, the entrance as of today is a nondescript door off the sidewalk, just ignore the pull you feel to go on the porch- it's futile. The overall signage/setup leads you to a specific door on the porch which then has signage indicating you should use the next door. My husband and I independently walked down the porch looking for the next door, but you have to go back to the sidewalk to find an unmarked door down the street that is the entrance. I would chalk this up to a COVID-related temporary change, but I just read prior reviews here on yelp that mentioned the confusing door situation. Where I was seated, I was perfectly positioned to watch no less than 7 other diners wonder around the porch looking for the door before the sun went down 45 minutes later. No one wants to wander around in 20 degree weather looking for the right door. The other overall issue was over salting of some components of the food (I like salt more than the average person). We would have given 5 stars without the door situation for sure. Once you finally figure out how to get inside, the ambiance is nice without being overly stuffy. Our server was lovely and super attentive and sweet. This was out first dinner date in a long while and we weren't rushed at all. I appreciated the good service and ability to enjoy the meal at our own pace. We started with drinks and I got a Black Manhattan first. If you're looking to get sauced, order the Black Manhattan- it's boozy! The other drinks we got were solid but nothing remarkable that you couldn't get elsewhere. We got a cheese plate for an appetizer, which had two very soft cheeses and one hard cheese, along with figs and strawberries in balsamic. I felt the two soft cheeses were similar but overall the plate was good. My husband ordered the fried chicken and I got the scallops. Both were cooked very well and had many tasty components on the plate. I felt the gnocchi in my dish was the best I've ever had. They give a complimentary dessert with a candle for birthdays, which was nice. Overall a nice place I would be glad to go to again, but they need to make it obvious how you get inside. read more

I'm glad we didn't walk out after our first impression. Me and my wife made a 6:15 reservation. We wanted to give this place a try, since it replaced (one of my favorite restaurants) Jonathan's. When we arrived, we were greeted very rudely by the host (who never looked up from his Ipad). He didn't offer to take my wife's coat and when she asked if she could hang up her coat, he sighed and took it from her. We were then seated at a small table with hard chairs that were different than any other chair or table in the Restaurant. I asked the waiter and the host if we could move and they told me no, that those tables were for people who made late reservations. I want to clarify and state that at that time, only 3 tables were being used. I wanted to get up and walk out then, but my wife wanted to stay. Again, we made a reservation. Food: We ordered the Country Ham to start and it was great. I love when restaurants use local vendors and this did not disappoint. Our main entrée that came with a $35.00 price tag was the ribeye with stuffed bone marrow and potatoes. Me and my wife love ribeye and have come to be quite the snobs when eating them in restaurants. I will still maintain that Jeff Ruby's has the best steak and it's great that Lexington is getting one of his restaurants. However, it seemed that the chef didn't care to put any effort to add flavor to the meat. My wife made comment that Texas Roadhouse had better steaks than Distilled. I thought that was a bold statement, but I almost agreed. I wish we would have ordered something else, because there were a lot of creative combinations with food on the menu. I really hope this place makes it in Lexington. The Waiter was great and it was great meeting the chef's dad, who came around to each table and greeted the patrons. Distilled needs to work on customer service at the Host/Hostess stand. The man that they hired has zero personality and was really rude. People who will spend $100.00+ dollars to eat at this place deserve more than to be treated they way me and my wife were this past Saturday night. read more

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The Good: the food, the service, the drink menu, the ambiance. The Bad: the location, the music. The Rundown: this place is amazing! Literally the best steak I have ever had! Their food was delicious tasting, amazingly flavorful, wonderful, well thought out, beautifully prepared, just all around astoundingly great! You have to go I to the Gratz hotel to get to this place, which is a beautiful hotel by the way. The decor is a classy modern / minimalist type of vibe. The lighting sets the mood perfectly, and whether you want great beer, wine, or cocktails, this place has what you are looking for. The Impression: a wonderful experience, one that I plan on having many times. The only negatives I have about this place is that on West 2nd Street there really isn't much in walking distance to do. Also, the music selections need some work, it is XM radio, which you hear the station announce over the speakers, which played old school disney / ballet music or some weird jazz. This is not indicative of the romantic feel it should have. These are small complaints in comparison to the overwhelming amount of amazing things you should visit here for. read more

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Simply amazing. Mark Wombles is pure genius. Has intuitive sense on how to combine different textures, colours, and flavours to create unforgettable tasting experiences. Just as impressive as his restaurant in Midway, but with a different personality. This is a place you must experience for yourself. Went with a large group of 15. The server was well educated on the menu, service was excellent. Between the group, we ordered everything on the menu and everyone highly enjoyed what they had ordered. Renovations to the space when compared to the old Jonathan's space were definitely an upgrade. Much brighter cheerier and more contemporary. Wine and spirits list was extensive. read more

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One of our favorite go-to's. The food is consistently excellent and service is always lovely. The she-crab soup with caviar crouton is a must starter. I loved the halibut special. Chef has a very good way with fish. Good sauces complemented the plate. Hubs loved his generous filet. Stephanie gave delightful service. The ambiance is soothing. read more

Positives: Fried chicken and biscuits were amazing! The gravy is awesome but I wish there was more. I had heard that there cocktails were good but I didn't realize how good. I had the Italian Sands, a house specialty which was delicious, and I'm not much for cocktails. Service was outstanding, attentive but not annoying. Dessert was a chocolate molten cake with house made bourbon pecan ice cream, I loved it but my husband wasn't a fan. Negatives: My husband ordered the filet which was really delicious but the medium was more like a rare so I would ask for it to be more done than you would normally get it to ensure it comes out cooked correctly. The music was a little weird, they changed channels halfway through dinner and it had advertising mixed in, which for such a nice atmosphere was awkward. Also even though it may seem common sense that the waiter box something up, make sure you specify that you want it boxed up and not thrown away as we had one of our meals accidentally thrown away. The Vibe: This is definitely going to be our new romantic date night restaurant. The complexity and richness of the food are major pluses in my opinion and the beer and cocktails selection is very interesting. Simply put - it is a modern restaurant with a Kentucky spin. read more

Distilled On Jefferson - Fried chicken - Southern Near Me - Lexington, Kentucky

I'm so pleased Distilled has moved into my neighborhood. Food is excellent I'm a big fan of the she crab soup and fried chicken. Wonderful service and a top notch Bourbon bar. I'm in! read more

As an occasional visitor to Lexington, I had been hearing good things about Distilled on Jefferson for years. Now I understand why. My family and I had dinner there and the experience was exemplary, start to finish. Upon entering, the atmosphere is one of casual sophistication reminding me of some of the highly acclaimed restaurants near my home in Washington, DC, but it had the advantage of greeting you with some good southern hospitality. The food was fantastic for everyone - my parents and sister raved about it. Personally, I had the Porcini Dry Rubbed Filet, and it was as good if not better than any I've ever had. Seriously, that's tough competition because I've had the chance to enjoy places like Bones in Atlanta, Spark's and Del Frisco's in New York, as well as The Prime and Capitol Grill in DC. The caesar salad (in my peculiar approach) often tells you how good the restaurant is at doing the basic stuff, but depending on how it's put together can result in a wide range of quality. You likely guessed it by now, but the caesar got the dinner off to a great start. For those of you into bread, it's served hot and fresh shortly after you sit down, and it's really good. Okay enough, starting to sound like an advertisement. Bottom line, I like it, and I'm going back. read more

One of the best dinners I've had in Lexington. Absolutely delicious items served in special ways that i have never had before . Wonderful presentations read more

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This place is a must-go! There are many restaurants in Lexington that advertise themselves as being upscale (and the $$$ back it) without the food actually delivering. Distilled is not one of those places. The food here was phenomenal. From the Valentine's Day menu, my boyfriend and I enjoyed the Scottish salmon (cooked perfectly with a crispy skin, sautéed mushrooms, an AMAZING silky puréed parsnip) and the filet mignon (beautifully seared with an herbaceous crust and a twice baked potato). We also ordered a wonderfully made gimlet and a rose water and lychee cake. All our food was put together creatively enough to be intriguing ayet familiar enough to be as comforting as it is tasty. On top of that, we had great service in a lively, open atmosphere perfect for the occasion with a swanky, ritzy vibe. Give this restaurant a thought when considering your next sit down meal! read more

Distilled On Jefferson - Ispahan cake - Southern Near Me - Lexington, Kentucky

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Downtown, walking back to my friend's apartment, we decided to stop at the bar for a nightcap. The outdoor deck looked inviting, but the evening was still to uncomfortably warm so we decided to sit at the bar. A long time since I'd been there. With all the new options in Lexington, one can forget about those places somewhat hidden away from the downtown. hubbub. A quiet spot for a drink and conversation. Amiable bartender. She made me a very good Aviation cocktail. Definitely a fan. read more

Smart upscale variations on Southern food favorites i.e. Porcini Dry Rub Filet was served w/Okinawa Sweet Potatoes; Fried Chicken was served w/ a whole egg fried in panko ... Service was among the best I've had - attentive, but not invasive. read more

This is my absolute favorite special occasion restaurant in Lexington. The food is to die for and the service is divine. I have enjoyed both pork and steak and once had a drink with fig purée and I really hope is on the current menu next time I'm there. Really just can't say enough about this lovely restaurant. read more

We had a very nice family dinner here last night. Attractive venue, excellent service and varied menu made everyone happy. We had the short ribs, a filet, the ribeye, salad, soup, and several of the roasted cauliflower. All were outstanding; but the soup and the cauliflower were actual surprise treats worthy of any restaurant, anywhere! They have a very nice wine & spirits menu as well. Much to like & we will return to try other dishes. read more

While visiting Distilled for the first time with a large group, we had a great experience and the owner went the extra mile to take care of us. As the sole vegetarian with a large group of steak eaters, the restaurant's broccoli dish was more than it's title alluded to. A frequent traveler and long-time vegetarian, the dish is in my top 10 of vegetarian entrees. What stood out to me was that the owner made sure that we returned to our hotel safely. We had stayed at another hotel, which was not returning our calls for the shuttle, and to our surprise the owner stepped in and arranged a free ride for myself and other female colleague. This restaurant actually cares for it's guests. read more

Food is excellent!! Service and staff great. Food came out slow but it was game night. Truly love the ambiance. A very romantic spot that can accommodate groups. Loved the salads - squash and pistachio. Tempura halibut was great as well. Rabbit sounded excellent but they ran out of it before we could order it. The basket of cornbread and sauces sauces is not to be missed, very southern tasty. The meatballs are highly recommended and come a little bit of spice. read more

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Obviously one of the fancier places downtown. Ate dinner there with my friends and all of us enjoyed our drinks and entrees. Had the pork shank, which I highly recommend. I don't know what kind of side was underneath the pork but it was very, very good. This place is great for a special date or dinner. read more

Distilled On Jefferson - Pork Shank awesomeness - Southern Near Me - Lexington, Kentucky

Went here for Easter brunch. They were very accommodating to us as they were able to add two more to our party of three at the very last minute. The brunch was three courses priced at $50 per person. To begin, I ordered a carrot salad which consisted of arugula, pureed carrots and slices of multi-colored carrots. Being a big eater, I was very concerned about the portion size. Initially deflated, I was soon brought back to happiness from the tastiness. The second course was lamb shoulder accompanied by roasted potatoes and brussel sprouts. The lamb was incredibly tender and flavorful, the true gem of the meal. Lastly, the last course was carrot cake with a scoop of ice cream. The cake was extremely moist and the frosting was perfectly sweet and light. All in all, I was very happy with the entire experience at distilled. Our waiter was attentive throughout our stay. Also, the ambience was warm and sophisticated. I was very happy with the experience and would like to come back to try the normal fare. read more

AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING !! Have been to many places in Lexington that are known as the "top places to go" and this has gotten a 10/10 in my eyes. It was priced well, and the food was amazing. The cornbread and biscuits served pre meal were amazing and the perfect portion. Our waiter was amazing. All in all an awesome dinner!! 10/10 read more

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Great little gem in Lexington. Food and service is exceptional. Great for a date night or a weekday treat. Ask for steve when dining in the main room. read more

In 2015, a company is releasing a $30,000 Apple watch that is diamond encrusted. Another company is offering a British racing bicycle that is also gold plated, but worth about $400,000. You may ask yourself, why? No, really. Ask yourself. I give you permission. Ready? Because it is catered towards those who like to throw away their vast sums of currency. Are you one of those people? Then, this place is perfect for you. Being one of those people from the lower income ranks of 'Murrrca, I was thoroughly impressed by the coat check at the front. I have never loaned my coat to someone for a small piece of numbered plastic before and was nervous because I knew didn't have any cash for the ransom when the Great Coat Hostage Crisis of Gratz Park would be resolved at the end of dinner. I had to borrow a greenback from a friend. Strike one. Also, it was kind of silly to give my jacket to him because it wasn't like he locked it up in a vault in another room or anything. He hung it up in front of us about three times as slow as someone would do it at home by themselves. I was not impressed. We sat down and ordered some drinks. My colleague had to use his phone's flash light to read the drink menu. Now, his eyesight isn't good enough to demonstrate good ol' 'Murrrcan air superiority during the first Gulf War, but he doesn't have two pounds of glass hanging off the bridge of his nose either. The lighting was nice, but there were some dark spots and the menu text could have been a little bigger, especially with all the white space. I suppose it was a managerial decision to save money on ink at the expense of customer ease of ordering. The highlight of the evening were the appetizers. Everything we ordered tasted amazing and gave us hope and allowed us to dream like we were children again. I thought about how I would be famous and make a difference in the world. We were riding high on a magic carpet ride and then our entrees came out. Friend had king crap spaghetti or something. He said it was too salty to eat and the noodles tasted like ramen. Another friend got the steak. It was overcooked and they made him a new one and it was still overcooked. We shook our heads in disbelief. We were lied to our faces. Our dreams would never come true. I would live the rest of my life in absolute obscurity. I ordered pickle brine fried chicken and it was drizzled with some sort of sweet sauce. The parts that were exposed to the air ended up being extremely salty, which is the nature of the beast and I should have been expecting salty, but this was like North Korean salt mines salty. This amount of salt would give kill someone with peanut allergies before the actual peanuts killed them. Unfortunately, in North Korea, you only get one strike. Distilled, you're out. Wait. It's not over, yet. After imbibing and giving our thanks to Bacchus, or Dionysus for you silly Greeks, we got dessert. They very generously gave us a portion that would be fit for an embryo with flavors that would suit an embryo with undeveloped taste buds. By the end of the night, we wouldn't have any money to pay for a Lyft on a Learjet. We had to ride a car like the common folk. All in all, if you can't give away your money fast enough to the peasants, you might as well come down here with your fellow lords and ladies and impress them with visually stimulating plating and small portions that make you feel like you are really fancy. Not an exaggeration. A piece of Wonder Bread toast with veggies on top as an appetizer cost $10. You could feed a family of one at McDonald's for $10 and still have food left over. If you have this much money to burn on a dinner, get pizza afterward. read more