Yeah, it's the local dive bar with a great old neon sign and a competent, no nonsense bartender. Yeah, people bring their dogs inside and you'll sit with locals and drink tap beer and shots. There's a pool table in good repair and you'll catch a buzz but quick. A grounded spot to get ungrounded. Drink your water and don't be a jerk - you'll be just fine. Thanks Elmer's! Hi, Joker the dog - I love you. read more

Elmer's - Not sure what I was aiming for here. - Bars Near Me - Santa Maria, California

More chairs for the tables. There are 4 tables and 3 chairs in the whole place. Really? read more

Lost a bet and had to take a shot after breakfast at 10 AM. The place was pretty busy but we did it. Cool very local spot. Shot good, service was great . read more

Elmer's looks like an oldtime dive bar from the late 1930's or 40's like Mike's Place in Lompoc. Local hangout for callow under 35'ers at least for a Thursday evening closer to 9pm.   By the looks of the front of the building, it looks like the favourite watering hole for old geezers who would have added character & charm to this rustic bar. Maybe by 8pm they're at home all asleep. Service is basic, just good enough to be OK. . Order the drink, hand you the drink, pay. This small town bar has the potential to be a friendly, hospitable, local hangout, but totally misses the mark.  Beer was served in a lousy, plastic cup which doesn't enhance its palatability. Saving grace was being able to bring in bbq'ed artichoke take out from the Hitching Post to accompany the lackluster beer.  3 stars read more

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Classic dive bar where are the locals hang out. In Orcutt after 10pm there isn't anywhere else to go. Our friends live nearby so we all went here so no one drinks and drives. Always drink responsibly. The bartenders were cool and fast at serving. The place packed on a Friday night with all walks of life. The pool table is the center of attention and is super annoying as they get in your way and you in there way when playing. The bar is small and the pool table takes up a lot of space. Bathrooms were really gross and I went in and out and decided not to use it. They serve some snacks at the bar like peanuts and jerky that are packaged. Would I come here again? Yes-if I was with my local friends and we wanted to hang out otherwise probably not. read more

Elmer's - The decor... - Bars Near Me - Santa Maria, California

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Another Orcutt gem. Love coming here in Saturday, or Sunday afternoons and just chilling to the Touch Tunes, ice cold drinks and local atmosphere. It's also fun if you have an early eve, late afternoon group of people. Co-workers and I have enjoyed the local, Orcutt pedestrian friendly crawl and enjoy the atmosphere intermixed with easy to get-to/nearby great places to eat. read more

Elmer's - Ice cold beer... - Bars Near Me - Santa Maria, California

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Really, what are you doing out here in the sticks? Well, if you're visiting Elmer's, at least that makes sense. A cool little bar with all the wood trim you would expect to see in a place with a coin-op pool table, lacquered wooden tables for two, a big long bar with every conceivable bottle on the racks, assorted game mounts hanging on the walls (the bobcat is particularly cool, imo), and of course, the usual slap-happy humor of bar signs about alcohol, beer, and Tipping not being a city in China. Locals are particularly friendly here, and we didn't feel like chumps breezing in. It reminded me of a few dive bars around my native Pasadena, except this one wasn't trying so hard to be cool-- authentic kind of place with good folks who appreciate you stopping in and taking a load off. When the dust gets into your eyes outside of Orcutt, and you need to take a 30 minute breather with a glass hand-chiller, stop in and see Elmer's. Mind you, they've probably never heard of Big Chungus, but Elmer and his staff will make sure you're taken care of. read more

Went there this afternoon. We are in our 70's. Fun bartender. Got local information. Had a good time!

Drinks are drinks but ZERO privacy bathroom wise. Who has bathrooms with no doors?! Also I was shook up when the juke box was English only filtered. Come here when desperate. read more

I have been coming to Elmer's on and off since I was 21; it's owner is a local who worked at a local HS as a coach for many years. Everyone looking to reconnect with old friends alway ends up at Elmer's during the holidays! Typical dive bar, good drinks (depending on the bartender, some of whom are better than others), gross bathrooms, stench from 40+ years of booze/smoke, good pool table, interesting characters to watch and a good jukebox. If you want a fun, boozy night, Elmer's is the place to go. read more

We had breakfast for dinner and it was fabulous... Served hot and quickly! We had the side covered patio to ourselves and the only thing better than the food was the friendly excellent service! Will be making it a regular stop when in Palm Springs. read more

Elmer's was always shit, but somehow it's gone more downhill in the last handful of years. The past two times I stopped by, there was fight. Yup, it's that kind of bar now. You know how every bar has that one girl in the top that's just a size or two too small revealing the chub she forgets to suck in when she's so drunk that she can barely keep her eyes open when she's trying to bum a smoke off you? Every female in the joint. And the dudes are those rednecks from high school that never left Santa Maria. I like dive bars too, but this place is just...well, it's less like a dive bar and more like the remains of a urinal cake that's been broken into smaller islands by the steady flow of golden urine, flicked cigarette butts, and acidic vomit. They get an extra star for existing so unabashedly. I'll go back, but only as a reminder of why I shouldn't. read more

As Ben mentioned above, Elmer's is NOT closed! In fact, after the Apocalypse, Elmer's will still be standing. It has been there for many generations of booze hounds, and will be there for many more. Back in the day, I logged a lot of hours here. Beer, mixed drinks, shots --- Elmer's has it all. It just doesn't have food, wi-fi, or valet service. Nope. This is a dive bar. If you know what that is, bless you. If you don't, we don't need your kind and best if you move along. Beer is limited. Maybe four on draft; and those will be Currs light, Buuud, Buuud light, and Firestone Double Barrel Ale. Maybe one or two others come around once in a while. Otherwise, cold beer in bottles of a decent variety, especially if you like the Mexican lagers. Food comes in bags. Like snack mixes, jerky, and nuts. Once in a while gratis food materializes on a Friday, but don't count on it. The bar has most of the go-to brands, and a decent tequila selection. Avoid the well liquors unless you're already plastered. Harsh stuff. And speaking of plastered, the pours are free-hand and generous. It is what makes the place unique, and seedy, and resonating with a quiet desperation. Can be just the ticket sometimes. The morning will be the regular bar flies, the afternoon brings in the pros, and the evening will find it either a meeting place for old friends, or a makeshift rodeo of booze-fueled superheroes with big mouths and small brains. For other entertainment, there is the ubiquitous pool table, and they've got an internet jukebox for tunes. Two televisions grace the west and east end of the bar, and if you think your luck increases with the amount of gin you consume, they have a lotto machine as well. The bar staff are quite at home, most being long-timers. Especially the day folks. And you'll probably love them or be indifferent to them. Either way, they are typically attentive if you're sitting at the bar; if you decide to plant yourself outside on the perimeter, don't expect table service. It ain't happening. Elmer's is one of those places where people hate to admit they like. Myself, being a dive-bar fan, find it to have a charm and a place that no other establishment in the area can touch. Cheers. read more

I come here often and usually I would rate this is as a 4 star place due to service. However I am gonna rate this 2 stars because a staff by the name of Lloyd who overpriced my drinks at double price bc he said I had issues on my card. Well I checked on my nifty mobile banking app and the money was still taken out regardless he said there was issues. I use to rave about this place, but when it comes to messing with money im not very happy with it. I would rather gladly spend hundreds of dollars for drinks to a place that will help me out when they did a mistake. read more

Nice little bar and really gets a bad rap.. the bartender is hospitality oriented and knowledgeable. I enjoy going here about every month to just hang out! If you're thinking of pool tables and beer this is kind of cool read more

OK, Yelp says this place is closed.....WRONG! We went here after Rooney's for a couple drinks and it was very much open. It's a small, old fashioned dive bar. The drinks were poured strong and the staff was friendly. If you want a simple bar with a juke box and pool table, this is the place. You get exactly what you expect. read more

Best little dive bar in Old Town Orcutt. The jukebox is hot, pool table is cool and the bar tenders pour a good drink. read more

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My whole family came and enjoyed everything. It wasn't too busy. We really liked our sever. We had great service and it was friendly too. I can recommend Elmer's. read more

Best place to go on a Sunday morning to get two Bloody Mary drinks before breakfast. Nice and spicy with Kettle One!

F@&$ Friday nights. If there was a option for zero star that's what I would put. The old lady behind the bar gave bad servers, ignored me in my face at the bar a couple of times so I gave a bad tip. She called me out in front of friends. They felt the same way about her to. Then we just left. So tonight i came here again she told me that I'm not allowed to come on Friday's. So I'm like ok went to Ronneys. So if you don't give a good tip you get kick out of Elmer's. Bill shit ass hole in the wall place. Not cool never again. read more

Used to be a great hide out... Now they sell everyone a drink, immediately turn on all the lights & kick you out... seconds after selling it to you... all an hour before closing. Same way they used to do at the office. The owner, Mike, should seriously have it cleaned, instead of spying on everyone from home though the installed cameras.... no I'm not kidding. read more

We couldn't even use the bathroom on the hours that they were registered open. So rude!

During the day it's ok, but at night, This place is perfect.....For tweakers, cowboys, and the "rodeo of booze-fueled superheroes with big mouths and small brains", and low life Orcutt has- been backwash, or marginal humans. At other bars, I'll make eye contact, smile politely and nod once or maybe twice , when I need a drink. And I don't wave my arms around or whistle when I want a drink, because I show respect to my fellow humans regardless of their skin color. I was the only dark skinned person at the counter, as I remember. Last night, the two waitresses that work there , made a point to not serve me for over twenty minutes, while I just sat there after they both noticed me at least twice., I watched them clean the bar and count their tips (barkeep#1 the blonde washup with the miles on her who was fired) or serve every other person at the bar , and then the people to either side of me( barkeep#2 the red head with the long hair ) and even ask people who already had drinks , if they were doing alright (both) . . It would have been only my second drink, so I may as well have tried ordering the second after I got my first drink , and drank while I waited. The "Professional " bartendress from the wine bar at ( Italian restaurant nearby ) who happened to be sitting next to me noticed this after she witnessed me being skipped over and over, and was nice enough to get the redhead's attention within a millisecond, by just looking slightly to her left and smiling.The redhead immediately said "What can I get for you?".. ." I want such and such, and This gentleman needs a drink, he's been waiting" The barkeep reluctantly made me a super complicated vodka soda with lime ( with no lime again) thanks to the pro bartender. I will definitely take care of her , next time I go to her restaurant. And I told her so before I left. By the way, there was two fights in two hours. One tweaker moron ( who was gettin served plenty , even though they know he's a troublemaker) got decked after trying to go around pickin fights, and finally coming across a military vet. The sherriffs proudly marched through there and hung out , like always, before doing nothing like always and leaving. And the second fight, was between one regular dude and one of the types I described above. The bartender was quick to start screaming and freaking out , both times. That was kinda funny :) But that's besides the point. If I'm not welcome there because I'm ethnic looking, then grow some balls and tell me to leave or do your job and try to serve me a drink. The daytime barkeep is excellent. read more

Stopped in here to pass some time on our way to the Hitching Post for dinner. The owner's son & wife happened to be sitting at the bar next to us. Had a drink with a great conversation with them and few other locals. Cool dive bar environment with friendly people. The bartender poured a delicious Moscow mule too. read more

First time here!! Danced & had a great time, seriously was like hanging out with old friends! Will definitely come again!

Wow Elmer's the best bar in Orcutt Home Town Fun & Friends. PJ's 21st was a blast thanks a bunch...

Love this little bar! It's a favorite place to visit when we are in town! Just try and avoid the old, ugly toothless bartender who works Friday nights. He has no business interacting with people and needs to be sent back to the cave he came from! I love the other bartenders like Richard, Pat and Jimmy! This dive bar is fun and has personality! read more

Who was Elmer? I can imagine him. I'd like to read a history of Elmer's. Locals don't have a clear memory of how this funky bar came to be. Every time I drop into Elmer's I meet someone surprising and come away glad I went. Dress code is nonexistent. Drinks are reasonable. Its hard not to relax at Elmer's. its as far from pretentious as you can get. I'll be back. read more

What is up with the older lady as a bar tender? Who gives you your check then stands over you while you sign it and waits for her tip? WTF? I have a mother. Worse service ever. One bar in Orcutt, I thought Martha Washington was dead! Hey Elmer's, get a bar tender with personality and someone who cares! Maybe your patrons would appreciate it! No greediness! Very unattractive! read more

Good place for a stiff drink and drunk watching on a Friday night.

Hey! To all the light weights that have bad things to say or write, I have a suggestion: GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! Please.....take your candy-ass/spoiled brat attitudes and simply leave the best Dive Bar in Old Town Orcutt for those that have lived long enough and experienced too may boutique bars to listen to you cry and complain. The door swings both ways. Hopefully it will hit you in the ass on your way out! Doc Old Town Resident. read more

Best drinks in town, the bartender Jimmy is the sweetest, friendliest barman I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. He made the best drinks, he even said that if I brought a small blender from home he would love to make me a pina colada!! 5 STARS!!! read more

Awesome little dive! Came in on a Friday around 5. Friendly and attentive bartenders. We're from Morro Bay and don't make it down this way that often but we will surely be back! Gotta love a neighborhood bar like this one. Decent selection, pool tables, and I think I saw a jukebox... read more

Best bloody Mary's in town! Hands down. & you don't even have to get dressed to go there!

This place is a crap hole. Don't go here unless you're a low grade local and want to get sucker punched by one of their locals. Happened to some guy right outside their bar on Friday night. You feel the tension in the air if you've never been there, definitely a hostile environment to newcomers and outsiders. Maybe that's what they want? read more

I was going to leave this one alone... But after reading all the reviews from the whiny nancys on this site i'm compelled to provide a rebuttal. Elmer's is not a place you go to for a glass of wine. Unless you like your wine pink and from a box. And that's okay. Elmer's is not a place you go to for a ten dollar glass of craft beer so you may feel like a connoisseur. The beer is yellow, fizzy and slightly warm. And that's okay. Elmer's is not a place you go to for a lychee martini. You will not find 45 variations of frou-frou vodka on their shelf. And that's okay. Elmer's is a place you go to for a good honest pour. A cocktail that is on par with a good kick to the teeth. This is a dive bar and you should experience one if you have not. Elmer's does not need to be anything more than it is. And that's why it's A-OK. read more

When I hear elmers I laugh, it's such a gross nasty dirty bar. But it's a dive, so what do I expect. It kind of makes the place more fun being super low key. I could wear sweats and a t shirt and I wouldn't stand out or look weird at all lol. It's totally an old orcutt vibe. The owner use to be mike but I don't think he owns it anymore. They have cheap drinks, a good jute box, and trail mix for sale in case you have those drunk munchies. Check it out read more

The only reason for the 2 stars is the price of drinks. Pretty cheap. But so is the entire establishment. It's clear that the owner doesn't care about his patrons. Cocky and rude. There was a nice lady that worked there for many years. She made the place a bit more fun. Everyone else seems to be miserable working there. I've always wondered what the thought process is for hiring these employees. There's a heavier set guy that's sometimes friendly and sometimes not. Really I would think if you owned a bar you'd want to make everyone feel comfortable. No. This is more like a clique. If you're not part of the select few that are liked you're treated poorly. At least pretend like you value every customer. With all the new action in old orcutt you would also think youd want to step things up. Not here. Smells like urine. Has always. Put 5k into the place and make it at least sanitary! I wouldn't use the restroom here if you paid me. I guess they're happy with the 50-60 regulars. Wouldn't be sad to see this place bought out by someone who cares enough to hire the right people and keep it clean. Horrible read more