Over a year of living a block away from Joe's I've... Developed and broke a gambling addiction Quit smoking three times Lost money playing pool to a guy named Yukon Sang bad karaoke ...and met all the regulars. ...got asked for cocaine by the regulars, repeatedly. (I don't have or do it) All at Joe's. It's the best place in town. read more

One of the most "normal" bar on NW Alphabets District area. Normal for me is meaning that I don't have to dress up just to enjoy drinks. Normal for me is meaning that I don't have to spend more than $5 for a drink. Normal for me is meaning that if I showed up in my pajama pants, no one will care. Joe's serves strong drinks. Perhaps, it's a bit too strong for me. Maybe the bartender took one look at me and decided that she was going to got me drunk. I think if I'm in the neighborhood again, I will stop by here and perhaps to try out their breakfast. I keep hearing how good the breakfast grubs here... read more

Drinking, for many, can be close to religion. And when I think of religion I naturally turn an eye toward the Icons of faith: the Christian cross, statues of Buddha, the Star of David, the Hindu cow, Egyptian obelisks. Years ago my friends and I worshipped at the Lion's Head pool table at Joe's Cellar on NW 21st. A place where it was dark even in the afternoon, you could find Hank William's Jr. on the juke, Crown-and-Cokes for $3, and it was just dank and smoky enough to keep the trendies away. Today it seems you can hear Cash or Williams anywhere in the city, that old jukebox at Joe's has been replaced by something neon and digital, and trendies have established a home there on the weekends. Times change, and a new generation arrives in the city every summer. But I still find time to make it back and pay homage to the Lion's Head table for 9-ball every now and again. http://distilledpublishing.blogspot.com/ read more

I walk past this place everyday, to and from work. Decided to stop in today for breakfast. Was greeted by very sweet young woman behind the counter. Ordered the Farmer's Scramble special: (I did egg whites and they didn't upcharge me) ham, bacon, green onion, jalapeño (I got it without and the server pronounce it "jalapeno" which humored me), cilantro, tomato, and smoked cheddar with toast and potatoes. I added a large orange juice for a grand total of $10.50. Food was made in less than 5 minutes. The scramble was small in appearance, but very good (very nice portions of meat). I was able to divide it into two (saving for breakfast tomorrow). The server gave me the menu with the phone number, so I could call in my order in the future if I wanted to. I will be returning. I want to try their French Toast (today's special of Berry French Toast seemed amazing, but I wanted a savory breakfast), pancakes (they have shortstacks), and biscuits and gravy (only $5!!!). Coming from the south, this place is kinda akin to Waffle House (diner set up and breakfast all day, except they close at 2.5pm and it doesn't reek of cigarettes and grease). My feelings for this place are bordering on love even after one togo visit because I'm tired of the brunch snobbery in this city. I only want food and good service that I pay for, rather than having to fit the stereotype of the restaurant to get good service (ala Stepping Stone and the like). ***SADLY, Joe's cellar shut down before I was able to post my review. Sad day!!!*** read more

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This place is a dinosaur in the Land Before Time, in the ungentrified section of Northwest Portland that stretches between the hospital and the industrial region starting a few blocks north of it; a less cheery limbo than the one Pope Benedict XVI did away with, or perhaps more like a purgatory? Whithersoever your Catholic theology may lean this place is a welcome bastion of Old Portland in the midst of Yuppiedom. It's huge, it's dark, and it features the perfect mix of dark wood furnishings and brass with large leather booths and a nigh-threadbare institutional carpet that's dark enough to conceal any stains: where Sunny Barger would like to drink now that he's mellowed out enough to stop smashing pool sticks on people's domes. Speaking of which, there are decent pool tables here. Also speaking of which it's generally a pretty mellow place, though like most bars it livens up a bit in the evenings. The food is your slightly-above-par greasy spoon bar food, meaning it's filling and tasty at a reasonable price. The drinks are also reasonably priced, and the bar backs generally congenial. There's also an adjoining restaurant for AA secretaries or those shackled to anklebiters. read more

Ah, the smoky bar. Portland has its share, but I think this one is special. Tucked away on the far end of NW 21st, Joe's is everything I want a dive bar to be. There's nothing pretentious about this place, it just happens to be a dark, smoky pool hall where the drinks are strong and the music is trashy. It isn't part of a scene, and hipsters don't seem to congregate here. It's just a good, old-fashioned dive, and there's nothing wrong with that. I seem to remember the pool tables being really cheap, too. Great place for a night out with friends. read more

Great drinks good food, but the service during the week is bad, I have seen people leave because the bartender was talking to the regulars. It's bad when you have to ask the bartender twice for a drink. The bartender, Lisa is inattentive, and lazy. Done with this place. Hey, owner, maybe you should reevaluate your staff because it's killing your business. Maybe you don't care, like lisa doesn't care. read more

The name pretty much describes this place. Come here to be free of the bad food and hipsters that plague so much of Portland. This place makes no effort to be modern or trendy. The outside looks old and run down, and so does the inside. The food is good and cheap. The service is about what one would expect. read more

Hey NW indies - is good honest home cooked breakfast something you're looking for in our end of the hood? Then look no further and stop in at the diner side of Joes Cellar. Screw waiting in line for overpriced eggs. The meals we had at Joes were clearly made with love. Killer chicken fried steak and gravy. Fed our whole family of 4 for under $30!! Everything made fresh. Don't let the outside fool you. They rock breakfast in here. So glad we stopped. Service was also wonderful. read more

Joe's Cellar - Joes Cellar Cafe - Dive Bars Near Me - Portland, Oregon

Holy shnikeys, but this was one fun-ass dive bar!!! I had supremely low expectations upon going to Joe's for the first time (I'm confused as to why Yelp felt the need to divide the reviews between The Cafe and the Cellar---it's all the same place! But not my job to sort out, thank God!). I was expecting painfully self- aware hipster vibe, with the knowingly ironic 80s music and tacky clothing. What I found instead was a rather raucous and rowdy, rough and tumble 20-something set (for the most part) having a tremendously good time, for no overt reason-- not like we just won the world cup, or an NBA playoff game or something! Normally, "Sweet Caroline" belted out, completely out of tune, of course, by 10 or more blotto young people would have me scrambling for the exit, especially if it was in any way affiliated with the Boston Red Sox, whom I loathe. But here, in this setting, it was kind of endearing. Also: the staff is helpful and friendly, the drinks are poured STRONG man style, and their late night menu is very good (the tots alone are more than a match for most men read more

Joe's is a lot larger than I expected it to be walking in so don't be discouraged by what you see on the outside. I had a great time here the other night and will definitely be back. Here's my short and sweet break down. Cheap drinks? Yup. $3.50 for a whiskey ginger and $2.50 Sessions is A-OK with me. Music? Fantastic mix when I was there...Mix of some old and new and it kept us dancing and reminiscing about the good old days. Buck and pinball machines? Hell yeah. I didn't make my way to the other side of the bar but it appeared to have a ton on seating so it's perfect for a group. read more

I love Joes. It's the perfect neighborhood bar. The bartenders are wonderful and amazing. Bre is literally an angel. I love playing pool or sitting outside on the patio tables. I'll order bar food every once in a while which is nice to pick up when I'm feeling lazy for dinner! read more

Cool local dive bar. Love this spot for a burger! Did I mention the burgers are huuuge! Yummy!

Only speaking of the cafe: it's a great no-frills and very reasonably priced diner that isn't enveloped in it's own irony. Same waitress everyday, and she's amazing. read more

The most alcohol for the lowest prices in Portland. .50 tacos on Taco Monday! Free popcorn in the game room. Love this place. read more

I have been going to lunch here for a couple of years now. The food is great, it's always the places that you wouldn't think would have good food by the looks of it. I have always said to people "DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER"! read more

My fave dive bar eva!! Stiff jukebox and really strong pool tables. This place is Supercalifragilisticexpialidopest. 5 mthr fckin stars!

I trust Yelp because many times I'll be at a bar - pull up Yelp on my iPhone - and mostly agree with the reviews on the place. Tonight that changed. My friend and I were looking for a place to eat tonight and Joe's came up with a 4.5 star review..... 15 of them. I tell my friend who is totally skeptical of Yelp that we have to go to this joint. This place is a 4.5 star place IF you like: 55 and older crowd Smoke filled room Mashed potato bartender Cheap drinks Pool tables Gambling machines Big place The cheap drink was the only highlight. We didn't eat here because it looked too shady.... But we did have 2 pints for $7 because we made the effort to find the place in the cold rain..... read more

One of Portland's only (truly) unpretentious neighborhood bars. Despite the divey feel of the place the atmosphere is cozy, the waitresses are wonderful, and the clientele range from the mellow 20-something crowd to the 70-something story tellers. Surprisingly: a very good mix. Good drinks, the Jukebox has a decent selection, and they have comfortable seating. Also, they happen to have the best Onion rings I have ever had...well...Ever. I miss it a lot actually. read more

Another on our "Tour of places we never would have known about without a coupon from the Entertainment Book 2011". First off, I'm a bit confused. The pics that people posted here look nothing like the place my friend and I went to yesterday. I noticed there is Joe's Cellar and Joe's Cellar Cafe. I didn't even see the cafe. We entered into a dark and still slightly smelling of cigarette smoke old man type bar. I know how to use Photoshop, but if these pics are from the place I went to yesterday maybe it turns out I really don't know how to use Photoshop. I say Bravo. This review will be for Joe's Cellar (the bar, not the cafe that might or might not exist). My friend likened Joe's to places she went to growing up in the suburbs of Philadelphia. If you have ever been to the suburbs of Philadelphia that should be enough of a description for you. If not, I can easily place this establishment under the one Yelp list I have. Old School Portland. It doesn't get much more old school than this. From the clientele to the bar stools. Simple menu. Breakfast served all day, burgers, hot and cold sandwiches, salads, soups, done. Nothing on the menu looked to be over $9. I had Joe's Double Burger and fries ($8.25). It came with cheese and bacon on top. Lots of bacon actually. My heart hurt after finishing up. Not really, but it sounded good when I typed it. The burger wasn't extraordinary, but having a coupon made it better. The fries were those old school type fries that you used to see all the time before shoestrings became all the rage. Thick cut without a hint of sea salt or aioli to be found. I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing. It is good knowing this place is in the world. With so many hipster and trendy bars in town, it is nice to see a place where people with walkers (yes, one walkered in) can come and have a drink amongst their crowd. I imagine that guy has been coming here for 50 years. I imagine a lot of things. Come for the experience, stay for the people watching. read more

Both times I've been the service has been seriously lacking. Like I had to get my own coffee refills (not that getting my own coffee is some huge ordeal, but it's a freaking diner, hello, coffee, that's like 40% of why people are there). I went here because it was included in a list of places with good food and no wait (for when you're over Portland's brunch scene [with a mandatory 45 minutes or longer wait]). You'll end up waiting here too, you'll just be seated while you do it. read more

I really like the feel/vibes given from this lounge. They have video poker machines and pretty good food, a little expensive though. The only negative part of my experience was after ordering food to go I got all the way home to realize my food order was wrong and I had to go all the way back. I called first to have the food remade the correct way but to my surprise my simple "no bacon" request was still not executed! I said something to the bar tender and she basically shrugged her shoulders said "pick it off" and walked away. Not cool at all. I can't have red meats and bacon is one of those things that makes me sick and the grease was everywhere so "pick it off" doesn't work for me. I wasn't offered a dessert or some extra fries or even an apology to make up for the mistake, I barely got acknowledged...... I will never order food again but I still go play pool and video poker. read more

So there are two parts to joe's Cellar, the shady bar with no windows and then the cafe, which if your coming from lovejoy just know to walk all the way to the end of the block where the cafe entrance is. Really liked the cafe part, cute, roomy, food was really good had an eggs benedict and waitress was really nice. Not the cheapest breakfast but a lot of food $13 tip included and worth it to find a local breakfast place. read more

Joe's Cellar - Eggs Benedict $9 - Dive Bars Near Me - Portland, Oregon

We ordered the pulled pork nachos to start. It was a large platter and really good. I ordered the club sandwich on sourdough and it was pretty much perfect, delicious. Comes with Mac salad which was also really good. Our server was friendly Kudos to the cook! read more

This place is dirty, that's pretty much all there is to say. I'm not sure if it's the regulars or the employees but it seems like their cars really suck, car alarms constantly going off etc. Last time I went in I used the bathroom, some girl was tearing it up diarrhea style, then I saw her walk out without even washing her hands. Great job. I will admit to always getting a stiff drink though. read more

My wife and I are from Alaska and went to Joes Seller for lunch. I can not speak for the food as we never got seated. I stood by the bar for 10 minutes and watched the "waitress" serve one other table and, look my way and promptly walk way. The other waitress behind the bar looked at me and did the same. So due the the lack of concern and the dingy atmosphere, I definitely would not recommend this place to anyone. read more

One of the only places open late at night in the area that still served food. Service was friendly and food was descent. Good beer pricing. Lighting is dim indoors and legit dive bar atmosphere. read more

This was the second stop on the fictitious pub crawl we were a day late for. We came at about 9:30 or 10:00 maybe and the place was half full. We used the pool tables... There's a jukebox that one of my friends poured money into. We danced a little despite the fact that no one else was/wanted to. I played the Deer Hunter video game in the back. I won money! That made my night. I decided to walk away a winner and keep the five dollars I had earned... but then Lady Luck lured me back in and stole my hard earned dollar. By my count, I only saw one person working there... the bartender. She ran the show: from redeeming people's slot winnings, to pouring beers, to checking IDs. read more

Use to love the place really still do but have had the bar tenders try to short change me 9 times on Visio poker I can't assume that's a mistake that many times of course this is over a 30 day period but still come on read more

Great little dive bar. Friendly staff, lively customers, a good variety of drinks, and a smattering of food to squash your appetite. Recommend it as a good hangout spot if you're in the area, however, I am not anymore so I don't go too often. read more

Joe's Cellar. You are my tender dream. My sweet. You are my Jackalope to the stars. Good food, stiff drinks, huge bar that is never empty with the best service in the NW. read more

The bartender was comically sexist. I was here at 9pm on a Friday, and anytime my girlfriend would lean on me, the bartender aggressively called her out of sleeping - multiple times despite that being far from the case. Not a friendly establishment. If Ace is in, stay far, far away. read more

i would literally smash my own toes off if it meant i got to go get a drink at this place every god damned night. brea is the fucking best. for her i would smash off one of my own hands. smash it right the fuck off with a hammer!!! read more

As they say... Anything Goes at Joe's! The best bar in Portland. Except for the Friday night bar-tender...she's one crazy chic. The services on the floor is fantastic. My drink is never empty! Love this place. Lots of parking. Outside seating in summer. The mix of people is great although...I did see someone give their dog beer once. It was PBR...he loved it. read more

I just drove past, and it's open again. Like a Phoenix from the ashes :) I wish I had time to stop today. Hopefully soon!

This place used to be great, chill atmosphere, mix of locals, all walks of life and folks seeking out a pool game; plus, great diner food. Thier food has gone downhill and the smell of urine is overwhelming on one half of the bar. Deep cleaning of restrooms, is necessary. read more

I live in the neighborhood and I pass this bar on my daily route... (on foot) I want to voice that various people who frequent this bar have harassed me nearly every time I walk by. Recently, I overheard two burly men talking about how they "watch" me and think I'm "pretty" and I finally stood up for myself and yelled back at the comments. Now, for my safety, I have to go out of my way to not pass this bar. This is a huge issue, this neighborhood is safe and it's really unfortunate this seems to be advocated here. Something I cannot speak upon through experience but that I have been told of is that a young woman was roofied here. If you're not a misogynistic slob, this bar probably isn't for you :-) read more

No meat. The taco will not feel you up. So don't bother. The are only 50cents but you will be hungry an hours later

Compliments to the chef , that was the best corned beef hash ever !! So delicious with chunks of corned beef . Megan was very friendly and attentive at the bar as well . Really glad we stopped in , we will definitely be back . read more

Joe's is a very nice place tto.hang out with friends. My awesome beautiful daughter works there