Having to determine your beloved pet's fate, having to place that painful burden of letting them go on your own shoulders is genuinely traumatic. But you know the time has come because of the simple fact that your dear companion will be the better for it. As my best friend said to me after months of my canceling D day, " Death is inevitable for all of us."
Personal disclosure here that I hope will help anyone who is struggling through this. Those words struck me like a thunderbolt. "Inevitable."
Suddenly I realized I had been making it all about myself. I had been grappling with guilt with a capital G. I couldn't bring myself to make the choice to put her to sleep. Second, I was in a deep state of fear of the whole process. Would it be painful, will she be frightened??? Last but not least, yet more fear, that of letting her go.
Because of what my friend had said, the logic and truth of it, the fog lifted from my panicked brain. I had finally got it. "Inevitable". It wasn't my decision. It never had been. I was simply doing what a mom should do, helping her baby.
I was not going to be a able to save my precious kitty and dragging it out was only hurting her on my part for she had been sick for such a very long time. No medicines, special homemade foods, or trips to the vet could change the fact that she was far past saving.
As to myself, it was about learning I could not keep her forever.
So having come to the conclusion it was time I knew there was yet another frightening choice to be made:Who, what, when and where.
There's a thing called In-Home Euthanasia? Whaaat? Really? That sounds comforting, so much less frightening for my fur-baby and well, that makes me feel less freaked out. Win-win on that thankfully.
Regarding my kitty I write of, please know I lived elsewhere and used another vet but now I'm in Orange County and only a year and a half later my other sweet fur baby's time has come. Devastation. But I know a little bit about the process now. But who will help in this new location?
Look no further than Paws Into Grace, in particular Dr. Michael Ishida. I feel so fortunate to have had this incredibly compassionate person to assist. I admit, before him I was being a sexist, I wanted a female doctor believing she'd be more compassionate.
Well, I don't think I've met a more kind, or gentle person in my entire life than Dr. Ishida. Truth. He is love personified.
That sounds corny but I don't speak this way and I've never said it about another person. That's in writing.
My kitty was gently put to sleep in my arms. For the first time ever I haven't been traumatized by letting one of my fur babies go and Dr.Ishida had everything to do with that.
Thank you so much Dr. Ishida. I know you made my precious girl's passing painless and comfortable. Thank you as well for how you compassionately gave so much heart to us all.
Last but not least super big shout out for Elizabeth who answers the phone. She was so empathetic when speaking to me. Please understand first timers, the person you speak to on the phone is critical as it is one of your first steps in your commitment to move forward. Elizabeth will hold your hand through that painful phone call. Don't worry if you choke up or just flat out bawl. She is there with you.
* Important note to readers. I wanted to take my kitty to the crematorium for a private cremation. I did not know this was possible with my last kitty. Ask Elizabeth about it. I may post on the crematorium but for now she can tell you all the information on that. I just wanted the added assurance for myself that she did indeed get a private cremation. Also, this allowed me to spend time with her after Dr. Ishida left.
This did not feel ghoulish. It was truly helpful to not have her taken away so suddenly.
We used a cooler, placed in her in my sheet atop of ice, and then we placed dozens of flower petals all over her. Dr. Ishida took the lead and was so sweet about it all. My fur baby looked sweetly asleep amongst the flowers.
For multiple pet owners, note that this also allowed another of my cats ( I had three so last one standing) to view her and understand her sister had passed. I didn't want her to think kitties just go missing.
I took my sleeping angel the next morning to the crematorium where they treated her with gentle hands.
For the first time ever I feel very good and peaceful about the entire experience of letting my baby, my friend, and my teacher move on. read more