Let There Be Light (and Halloumi):
An exploration of faith, feta, and fluorescent bulbs
I'm friends with the incumbent Mayor of The Lexington, which means I kind of have the inside scoop on new business ventures in Woodbridge. His Excellency, the Mayor gleefully told me this place was so new it didn't even have a website yet, but he'd already eaten there twice in its opening week. Our night ahead would likely involve uploading a great deal of slurred data to the cloud (also known as functioning on 3% battery and 97% whiskey). It would be vital to start with a solid base, so we power-walked the block and a half from the mayoral mansion to Toum & Tzatziki, a little side-street gem that feels like stumbling across buried treasure wrapped in foil and late-night salvation.
Before I get started, you should know this place is open late as fuuuuuuuuuuck. Like, "midnight hunger crisis turned full banquet" late. Maybe you're breaking your intermittent fast at 2:30 a.m., maybe you're ending a night of "just one more," or maybe you're simply living lawlessly. Whatever your deal, they've got dinner covered.
My first impression, like a deer caught in high-beams, was that this place is BRIGHT. Not just "the big light" bright, but more like operating room bright. For a split second, I couldn't remember if I was there for a c-section or for saganaki.
Once my eyes adjusted to the floodlights, I realized this place was actually a beacon of hope on a dark and boozy night. I may have even had a religious experience.
"And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon us, and the glory of the gyro spit shone round about us, and we were sore afraid.
But the angel said, Fear not, for I bring you shawarma, fries, and forgiveness.
For unto you is born this night in the city of Detroit a Savior, which is Lamb the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you: ye shall find the Lamb wrapped in a swaddling pita and lying in a to-go box."
And suddenly there was with the angel a heavenly host saying, "Glory to carbs in the highest, and on earth, peace, good baklava toward men."
Even the staff here were sunshiny and angelic. We ordered a gyro the size of a regulation football, the kind of thing you need two hands, a game plan, and possibly a chiropractic follow-up for.
And then there was the halloumi (halloumi with balsamic reduction, to be exact). It's the kind of dish that makes you believe in a benevolent universe. Stay with me here: it's a cheese you can put straight on the grill. Taking something already perfect like cheese and making it even better by grilling it is one of those human achievements that belongs on the top shelf beside fire, the wheel, and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. It's like inventing an ice cream that gets you drunk or fries that reverse male pattern baldness. Whoever first threw halloumi on a grill deserves a Nobel Prize in Dairy Physics.
With our bellies fully anointed, we were ready to return to The Lex and start conversing fluently in cursive.
Yeah, so according to an insider at the mayor's office, I heard they're putting in a Rainforest Café down the block. If I were you, I'd get here before the neighborhood goes full animatronic hellscape. read more