Okay men and womyn. My sister and aunt are both lesbians and I am a gay man. We've been coming here for years. So here's how people conduct themselves in a lesbian bar with dos and don'ts:
a.) Don't be overly judgmental even if you think you are already open-minded. First of all, people are not perfect, and lesbians are not perfect either, but 98% have been nice here. The bouncers and some of the bartenders can be pretty butch. People who are friends with butches know they can seem gruff and a little too direct to strangers, but they are just being themselves, just not the submissive, cuddly, creatures you think womyn should always be. They are usually nice but won't kiss the asses of people with bad attitudes. If a butch lesbian bouncer was a man, people would just see him as doing his job.
b.) Don't think lesbians are manhaters, just don't. (That is a mean stereotype they always hear.) I've come here dozens of times and had only one instance of some butch calling me a "little twerp." She was pretty drunk but not enough to get kicked out. Sometimes people are jerks when they're drunk. If one lesbian is rude to you, then you suddenly think they are all rude because of only ONE person, that would mean you're just being lesbianphobic.
c.) Do have patience. There is an Order Here or Service Here sign. Because when men and straights come into the bar, they become sensitive about not being served right away and think they are being discriminated against. So that's why they have a drink line. When I first came here, I mistakingly thought that I was being ignored too, but that was because of my male entitlement. I also needed to learn to read signs.
d.) Do realize they have a strict policy about being overly intoxicated. They can lose their license and really, they are strict because they don't want anybody getting hurt on the way home--especially since their main customers are womyn. Me and my sister even got kicked out once because our mom was too drunk. No hard feelings.
e.) Do put money into the jukebox. They have a killer jukebox playing The Indigo Girls, Joan Jett, Tracy Chapman, I Kissed A Girl and I liked It etc.
f.) Do enjoy a frosty one. They got a great beer selection. They know how to make moderately strong drinks, so don't think they will overpour here because they won't.
g.) Do sing. Karaoke night rocks.
h.) Do be respectful to the staff. Shelley is a perfect host and has to put up with a lot of drama, things going wrong because it's an old building, and a lot of unnecessary complaints. She is an icon and nobody, and I mean nobody, deserves more respect on the hill than her for keeping the business going FOR DECADES.
i.) Do support your sisters. More lesbians need to go out. Seattle used to have Eastlake East, The Easy and the Wildrose. I believe in integration with the straights but I still believe there needs to be more womyn majority spaces.
j.) Do be a cool guy. If you are a man coming in alone, they might be a little cautious. It's cool if you don't leer. The womyn come here to get away from that. I would never go to the Wildrose unless I had womyn coming with me.
k.) Do tip well. You might get a smile of relief from the staff because Seattle is costly, especially for lesbians.
l.) Do keep straight fragility at a minimum. There is no straight hate here. They've hired straight womyn several times. One of them is a famous bartender, Barbie.
And if you want to know what real attitude looks like, I've been to a small town lesbian bar where they fought like the old west. So this place is chill.
Thanks for reading. Maybe we'll hang out sometime. See you there. read more