Lucha Va Voom!
Reason for going!
Free general tickets from my friend Marty the Party!
And when I looked at their myspace page, it shows they have Strippers!
That sold the deal for me!
Whenever I go out, I always pre-party.
A pre-party in the Mofo tradition usually consists of alcohol, grass and hot ass! And other illegal substances are welcome.
STONER ALERT - from 1 - 5 bongs, 5 bongs being as high as the girl was in the movie Smiley Face. One bong would be like if you smoked some herb about 2 hours ago and you were almost sober.
I was about 3 bongs high when we left my house!
Oops I forgot!
DUI ALERT
- from 1 - 5 forty ouncers, 5 forty ouncers meaning you should have died
behind the wheel! 4 forty ouncers, your drunk ass should go to jail! 3 forty
ouncers, if you get pulled over, your going to jail! 2 forty ouncers, if
you get pulled over, you might go to jail. 1 forty ouncer, you better drive
looking for cops, but you can still finger the hot ass girl in your passenger
seat while she's doing lines!
I was 2 forty ouncers intoxicated, but I wasn't driving and there was no hot ass girl to finger or coke, I kid, I kid about the coke, it was an innocent night of beer, grass and ass!
So here we go!
Off to the beautiful O.C. land of evil, white girls with great, real, tanned
asses!
My partner in crime this night was my homie, the Great Rubino or
12 bowl Ruben! Because he can smoke 12 bowls of herb and still function!
He is truly a great stoner!
12 bowl Ruben lives in Ana-slime, I mean Anaheim, so he's pretty familiar with the O.C..
I live in Bellfower!
All right, all right, FKN relax!
Just because women have 8 babies at once here,
doesn't make it low-life!
My gardener is a white guy, so there!
We pull into the Grove theater, I think it's called!
SCANDOLOUS ALERT - 1 - 5 hands covering
your face in shame. 5 hands would be throwing up, shitting and masturbating in public. 4 hands would be throwing up and shitting in public. 3 hands being throwing up and pissing in public. 2 hands, fighting and pissing in public. 1 hand just pissing by your car, what's the big deal?
I'm sorry, I pulled a 1 hand in the parking lot of the Grove!
And I never touched my tool of urination, so my hands were clean!
You can do things like that when you are 9 inches flaccid.
Remember, this review is for entertainment purposes!
The will call line was a FKN mile long!
I thought I was behind the Miss Octuplets family!
WTF!
We get our tickets.
It was about 10pm and we get some beers and stroll to the show!
Not too many hot girls at this point.
The main arena is at capacity and the crowd was loud and really into it! Couldn't get a good view from the general area so we go chill in the VIP area lounge. The lounge was almost empty but there were some hot, white girls in there!
And they had some big screens showing all the Lucha Va Voom action!
The Lucha Va Voom wrestling and comedy skits were OK!
The highlight for me was the women's tag team match because at the end of their match they ate the other girls Hearts with blood shooting all over the place! Nice!
But I was there to see the burlesque, strippers that were on the Lucha Va
Voom myspace page.
2 words!
Moana Santana!
She's hot!
She moves Wicked and acts Twisted!
Hey!
I like that!
She moves Wicked and acts Twisted!
That will be my next Porno with my Yelp lover, Flower Tucci!
Here Cums the sweet juice!
I'm chillin in the main bar area!
And here she Cums!
She's Cummin all over the main bar!
It's the exquisite, Moana Santana!
She's Cumming right at me!
My George St. Pierre like reflexes commands me to reach to my back pocket and get one of my promo flyers for my clothing biz to give to her!
For some reason she stops right by me to talk to who ever.
As I look at her maintaining my Stoned cool!
I wait for the appropriate moment to give her my card and to tell her to hit me up on Myspace and check out my clothing line!
So it happens.
I do what I intended and I successfully hid my semi-erection while
I was talking to her!
The Lucha Va Voom is almost over.
We decide to leave and we walk by a merchandise booth and all I see is LEGS!
16 foot long legs!
Legs that could easily do the Double D!
Double D stands for the most rare of human acts, the Double Down!
In other words, her legs are so long that her legs could wrap around TWO heads!
Legs, white legs!
Every brown, black and asian mans weakness!
A white, american woman with legs that spread from east L.A. to Compton!
Beautiful, white, tanned, toned, delicious legs with thighs in full, glorious, Revelation!
She was sitting down, leaning back with Satanic intentions wearing a mini-skirt the size of my mustache!
I'll skip the hoopla of approaching and meeting her.
Her name is Robin and she's a DJ at Trip in Santa Monica on Wednesdays! Her DJ name is Placid Fluidity and I'll go check her out soon!
It was a good time!
Hot, white Girls and a Night without ending up in an O.C. jail! read more