This is going to be one of those reviews that is really more like a diary entry that you all get to read, because, well, I really need to keep a diary or write in a journal or WRITE THAT DAMN NOVEL, but instead I am a working hack who only has like two minutes to spew out a review before returning to the grind. So here goes.
Last night I had some time to kill before meeting a friend of mine at Samovar Tea Lounge (the Sanchez location), so I decided to go *read* at a cafe. As I pondered my location for said reading I decided that as a single woman I should go to a cafe that has STRAIGHT men for a change. I love the Castro, but WTF, CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE STARE AT MY BREASTS?! (sorry)
So I decided that I would go to Maxfield's. I've never been to Maxfield's before and it was not too far from Samovar and it was close enough to the Mission Dolores area that I thought HEY perhaps there will be some hipster, writer/photographer with tight pants and a IPhone here that I can make eyes at over my book, The Historian, which is really not very good and which I only bought because it's about vampires and I LOOOOOVE me some good vampire lore (holla Ann Rice!).
So I cruise into this joint and the first thing that goes wrong is that don't have any decaf. I know, I know, what a pussy you are thinking, and frankly, I think that too. Every day that I fill my coffee cup up with decaf Major Dickenson's Roast I think, what a pussy you are Claire, why can't you just suck it up and drink the leaded shit? Then, I have a dark chocolate cookie and have a panic attack, so really we're all better off. Anyway, "out of decaf" leads me to some shitty ass tea, which you really can't fault them for cause it comes in a bag, etc etc.
So I secure a spot in the corner and turn my attention to all of the guys in the room. Ahem. OK so have you ever seen something that you thought was not REAL, in the sense that it's like a scene in a movie. LIke that old lady in There's Something about Mary who is all brown with the crazy sagging tits and you are like, nooo that's a caricature, it's not real? Well, I saw that shit here. There were DEF no hot hipsters with iphones and scowls, there was a central table of out of this world dudes playing Dungeons and Dragons.
Ohhhh Hell to the Motherf*&king yes there were! And I could only stare and stare some more as they "cast spells" and quibbled amoungst themselves, completely unconcerned that others in the cafe might NOT care about the white or green spell card, or whatever it was they were saying in heated voices. I'm not EVEN going to describe what they looked like because, well, I don't want anyone to think I'm just a nerd haterater, cause I love me some nerds, but these guys really transcended the word NERD.
So, um, I'll get back to you on the coffee, and needless to say I didn't strike it rich with the hot hipster, and, uh, this is the place to go if you wanna get in on some Hot D and D. read more