Let's see. We waited for ten minutes right inside the front door then moved up about 2 feet. Probably another 15-17 mins until our food was bagged. 25-27 mins to get fast food is ridiculous, this wasn't Opening Day, this is 3 weeks in already. Strike One.
So on to the actually ordering. First time in a Moe's, so we checked out the website first to familiarize ourselves beforehand. The person I'm with orders the Homewrecker with chicken. Now the website tells you what's on that particular sandwich. The kid behind the counter asked what was wanted on it. The person repeated I want the Homewrecker. Still a dumb look on her face, she asked again what was wanted on it. Doesn't take a genius to realize this cat had no clue what was on a Homewrecker according to their own website, but at least the person with me remembered and slowly, very slowly walked her through it.
So I order next. I figured since she's clueless, I'll order with this next dude the way any real burrito joint lays out the menu in the first place, where you simply start by saying which meat you want. I tell him I want a steak burrito. He blankly stares at me for about 5 secs, then asks which named burrito I want? Now I'm totally baffled because this guy was clueless helping with the Homewrecker as well, and doesn't know what's on the named burritos anyways. I can only assume he needs to know to mark his little piece of order paper. So I follow up with "I want whichever one has steak on it". Now I think he just blew a fuse or something comprehending that but he scribbled on the paper, I think the Joey bag of donuts (bag of garbage actually), and then sure enough asked me what I wanted on it. So I figure I'll make it simple, I tell him I want steak, cheese, sour cream, tomato & onion. That means no rice, no guac, no pico, no anything but what I just ordered obviously. I look away for a moment only to gaze back seeing rice on the flour tortilla (never offered me the whole grain) and explain to him I never said rice and repeat the ingredients again. He kept it classy, he just scraped the rice back into the bin, but leaving just enough I still technically had rice on it.
Then came the steak, or what I now refer to as two tablespoons of junk meat. Now I knew cheap corporate run joints would probably have some sort of guidelines on serving size, but this just took the level of cheapness above and beyond. I also knew not having all the inexpensive fillers like rice on the burrito would yield a smaller burrito, but this was seriously disappointing. I got a burrito less than a 1/3rd the size of my friend's Homewrecker. I mentioned quite out loud to my friend while this miniature sized burrito model was being formed I already know I'll never be back here. So whatever we move on to the register, pay and leave. Ordering = Strike Two.
Drive ten minutes home, only to pull out two cold, literally cold, not even room temp burritos, so we nuked them. My friend got halfway through, decided it's garbage and tossed it. I made it half way through mine, which due to it's small size equaled one decent sized bite and tossed it too. Utterly disappointed, we had each tried a fried chip in the car ride which were conveniently poured directly over our wrapped burritos and thought they were tasty. Didn't realize they didn't have a separate container, just poured straight into the bag. Again, nothing but class. So we'll eat those we tell ourselves. Look inside the bag but there's no salsa. Go figure.
Long winded my review indeed, but you're better off knowing the exact experience to expect. If this was to be a short review, I would tell you to keep on truckin' down the road to Golden Gate and Santa Barbara and get the burrito at Taco Ardiente next to Nana's. Except for cabbage instead of lettuce, it's much more like a real burrito (but not perfect) the likes of which you'll find on the south side of Chicago or California, or basically anywhere that isn't SWFL. No one can get it just right down here that I know of. It seems everyone has a dressed burrito meant to be eaten with a fork & knife. That's not a real burrito. Also any decent burrito joint always asks if you want side peppers and sides of red and/or green sauce, and throws a bunch of napkins in the bag knowing it might be messy. Not Moe's. Pick any one of these stellar final examples of this place for Strike Three. At least I have some Ben & Jerry's in the house tonight to help me forget about this place forever. read more