Osteria Langhe - a restaurant created by elitists to serve those who are either too wealthy to care or simply uninitiated to how a restaurant is supposed to operate.
Stuck back on Armitage west of the Kennedy, this miniature version of a real Italian restaurant pretends to serve food and wine typical of Italy's Piedmont region. Suffice it to say "no". In Italy, they actually give you some food. Actually lots of food - more than you can eat in one sitting - which is definitely not the case here.
With table room for approximately 30 people and maybe 8 more at the bar, the facility is physically thin and cramped.
The bar carries only one vodka (Modest) which is apparently made by a friend of the owner in Wisconsin. My martini was served in a traditional 1960's era stubby, cocktail glass. When served (in an un-chilled glass) there wasn't enough liquid in the glass to cover the olives resting on the bottom. These weren't Colossal olives mind you, they were the small ones that you get when you're a college kid on a budget. The vodka itself was pretty good - from what I could tell. It was gone in one sip - or it may have evaporated, it's hard to tell. My wife had a Manhattan, which had one more sip than mine.
Oddly, they kept re-filling the couple next to us every two minutes! They must've been regulars - but to make the disparity so obvious was strange.
I decided to switch to a glass of wine. Maybe it's just me but when I start to feel that I'm being ripped off, I begin to gauge what I'm getting not so much with reference to the service and surroundings but more to the amount of product being delivered. I was served about 6 ounces for $14. I rate my wine choice as a 6 out of 10 for quality.
The menu is written in a combination of just enough English and broken Italian to confuse the even the most experienced of weekend foodies.
As an example, listed as an appetizer, the "Panino Aperto" (which translates as "open sandwich") is described as "grilled bread, please ask your server for seasonal daily dressing". This, like several other menu options is "MP" or "Market Priced". Are you serious?! Market price for bread?!
As we were out for the evening and the Panino Aperto was recommended by the couple next to us, I didn't ask the price.
So what did we get for our MP open sandwich appetizer? Three very small pieces of thinly sliced charred bread, topped with fatty, chewy, prosciutto, parmesan cheese and olive oil. The price was $14.
We then tried the "Insalata - farm greens & vegetables, summer tomato vinaigrette". Small, passable but bland. What can you say about salad unless someone really takes the time to invent something new and interesting? This is not.
Now onto the first course ("primi"). Let's take a second here to ask the question, "why first and second courses on an otherwise limited menu?" Ah yes, to run up your tab because no one entree is enough to feed anyone who's not the field of modeling or hasn't undergone a weight reduction procedure.
Having been to other like establishments in the past (all of which are now out of business) we were getting suspect and had a sneaking feeling of how the entrees were going to be presented. We opted for one order of the "PLIN" (la tur) which was described as ravioli with parmesan, butter and thyme by our server ($14).
Sure enough, a large, wide rimmed bowl arrived with 8 pieces of diminutive, gnocchi-sized pasta bites in the center. I completely understand "al dente" (firm to the bite without being soft) but this was cooked so that the exterior edges were hard and chewy, with the interior cooked perfectly. So one gets the impression that the kitchen let these sit out in the air for a while before cooking.
The second course list includes novelties such as braised rabbit. Given our experience so far, I have to say that my guess would be that the whiskers, ears and tail would have been interesting but a waste of time and money. Same for the desserts - which again are listed at "Market Price".
For after dessert, Osteria Langhe features digestives ("digestivi"). As a rule I don't drink sweet things but our server was kind enough to bring us two Nardini Amaro cordials. As I said, cordials are not my thing but I tasted it anyway. I would describe the flavor as a combination of chocolate, ginger, chalk and ash. My wife agreed.
When the bill came I noticed that our server had added the cordials to the bill and then deducted them off again. This may have been simply for the purpose of noting stock, as many servers have the authority to give away a certain amount of product. Then again, it may have also been to let the customer know that they are responsible for an additional $16 in service.
We measure our experience on everything we know about good service, good food and fair pricing based on the quality, preparation and freshness of the ingredients.
Osteria Langhe - fails. read more